Anonymous
by Theodora Snowbird
Summary: Harry never thought that he wouldn't even know the name of the person he trusted most. After the War, McGonagall forced students involved to anonymously contact each other weekly. At first, Harry thought it was a cheesy attempt to show the Light and the Dark aren't that different from each other. Now, he feels like he can't be without her, even though they never met. HPxOC
1. I'm Harry Potter

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 1 I'm Harry Potter

 _McGonagall was no Snape_ , Harry thought as he packed his bags to head off to his final year of Hogwarts. She certainly wasn't favoring the Gryffindors this year. After everything that had happened, he wanted to return to the one place that truly felt like home.

There was an attachment to this year's Hogwarts' letters, the headmistress's stipulation to the returning students who were involved in the War.

 _Dear Mr. Potter,_

 _Given the postwar tensions, Hogwarts staff and school governors have found it prudent to make efforts to return the castle to a state of peace it has not seen in years. Along with added security, we strive to end the tensions between the students who stood alongside the Order of the Phoenix and those who allied themselves with the Death Eaters._

 _Enclosed is a journal which you will use to communicate at least once a week with a student who was entrapped in the Dark. Neither student will know of each other's identity unless the student decides to reveal his or her information. Refusal to participate will bar selected students from admittance._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Professor Minerva McGonagall_

 _Headmistress_

"Rubbish," Harry muttered. Although he found it interesting that she did not mention him or Voldemort in the letter. Was it courtesy? Or was she trying to distance Voldemort from the Death Eaters?

"Tell me about it mate," Ron said as he snapped his trunk shut. "Hermione thinks it's good, but…"

"There are some things you can't fix," Harry said bitterly.

Ron nodded in agreement. "I'm writing one liners every week. _I'm good._ Or _the chicken at the feast tonight could've been better._ That's it."

Harry sighed and stared at the journal for a moment before throwing it in his trunk. He would just have to look at it as an extra homework assignment. That is all.

* * *

Friday night. His first "entry" was due, and Harry nearly forgot. He was half asleep when his journal lit up. When he opened the stupid book, he raised his eyebrows at the first entry.

 **Hey. My name's Harry. Harry Potter.**

As he grabbed his quill, he almost smiled. Almost.

 _Yeah. Right._

 **How do you know?**

Harry rubbed his eyes and straightened his glasses. He made contact. He could leave it at that. Surely McGonagall wouldn't confront him about it. The bloody wizarding world was safe, thanks to him, he thought somewhat bitterly. Still…

 _Because I wasn't a Death Eater. So that means you were._

There was a pause. Such a long pause that Harry started to doze again. Then, letters started to light up the pages again.

 **No, I wasn't.**

 _Right…_

The person didn't answer for the rest of the week.

* * *

"My person likes to watch paint dry," Ron said as he shoveled breakfast in his mouth. Harry vaguely wondered if his best friend even knew what he was eating, or if he was just mindlessly stuffing himself.

Hermione looked up from her Transfiguration notes. "So they are just as interesting as you are?" she said dryly. "How's it going for you, Harry?"

Harry shrugged. It was Friday again, so he supposed he should write something. The person seemed friendly enough. "Whoever it is, they got mad when I said they were a Death Eater."

Ron snorted but Hermione looked absolutely aghast. "Why would you make a first impression like that?"

"Well…" He was just stating the obvious! "They tried to introduce themselves as Harry Potter!"

Hermione shook her head like it was his fault. "So you say, _No, you aren't. You're a Death Eater._ "

Harry stared for a moment. "Well, yes."

"Boys!" Hermione spent the rest of the day giving him dirty looks.

* * *

Harry didn't feel guilty, but he wasn't about to get a warning from McGonagall because he hurt some Death Eater's feelings. So he decided to play a little joke himself.

 _Look, I know you're not Harry Potter because_ _I'm_ _Harry Potter._

An hour went by. Well, he made contact, so there was nothing else he could do.

 _ **Ha, ha, ha.**_

Harry rolled his eyes and laughed at his own joke. He was tempted to tell Sirius, who had been appointed to head of Hogwarts' security. However, the man was unfortunately starting to get as paranoid as Mad Eye.

 _ **Fine,**_ _ **Harry.**_ _ **You can call me… Lily.**_ The handwriting was a little shaky compared to last time, but Harry didn't think much of it. Maybe the person was half asleep like he was the other night.

 _No._

 _ **Hermione?**_

 _So you're a girl?_

 _ **No. I have an eighteen inch long throbbing cock.**_

 _Wow._

 _ **I may be a little tipsy…**_

 _A little?_

 _ **Call me Trixie.**_

 _Trixie?_

No answer.

* * *

"It smells like fish," Kamelia Malfoy announced as she walked by Hermione as Potions class begun. Her older brother forced himself to smile but said nothing.

That was the main downside to returning. They were with students who were a year younger, meaning he had a few classes with Kamelia.

Most of the Slytherins were quiet, despondent, and honestly, defeated. Not Kamelia. Or her best friend Pansy Parkinson. Hermione, who had too much dignity for her own good, ignored her as Kamelia sauntered next to her seat with Theodore Nott.

Pansy cackled and sat next to Draco, snaking her arm around his. Neither Malfoy seemed very interested in their partners. Kamelia stared straight at the board when Nott, her boyfriend, put a hand on her thigh. Draco just looked as miserable as ever as Pansy whispered in his ear.

* * *

"She's such a fat cow," Pansy whispered loudly in the Common Room. She's talking about Astoria. She's always talking about Astoria.

 _Because Draco never looks at you like he looks at Astoria,_ Kamelia thought. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she curled up on the leather sofa and took a sip of her wine. Pansy was her best friend after all. Astoria was studying and pretending not to listen.

"No wonder she's never had a boyfriend," Pansy went on.

Kamelia wouldn't consider Pansy slender either. Her best friend wasn't really fat. She just… With a bored sigh, Kamelia picked up the bottle of wine and retreated to her room. She wasn't even in the mood to make up an excuse. Pansy was sure to tell Draco, who would go on and on about his latest theory for what's been plaguing her.

"You're a stupid cow," Kamelia muttered as soon as her door was shut. Now that she was alone, she gave up on the wine glass and went straight for the bottle. She thought she had a little gin somewhere…

After stumbling around her room a bit, she spotted that bloody journal. She had yet to write to "Harry Potter". But it was Tuesday, so there was no need to.

 _ **Do you ever hate your friends?**_

Kamelia found the bottle of gin, but there was only a swallow left. She supposed it was better than nothing…

 _No._

 _ **Bloody Gryffindors**_

 _What makes you think I'm in Gryffindor?_

 _ **Because Ravenclaws were neutral, and no Hufflepuff would have the balls to call me a Death Eater.**_

 _Now who's making assumptions…_

Kamelia smiled slightly and for once, put the wine bottle down when it was still half full. Draco would be proud. The git.

 _ **Ravenclaws are capable of hating their friends, and Hufflepuffs have no friends,**_ she went on. She wondered what would happen if she filled the book. The wine was making her sleepy, and her thoughts were fleeting. Dinner had ended half an hour ago, and her eyes were already starting to droop.

 _I've been angry with my friends, but I can't say that I've hated them. There have been times I haven't spoken to either of them, but deep down, I didn't hate them._

 _ **Ron and Hermione?**_ The wine made her laugh in a very unlady like way at her own joke. Mother would have scolded her and passive aggressively complained about it for days.

There was a slight pause. _Of course. I'm Harry Potter, aren't I?_

Kamelia wondered who she was talking to. The halfblood Seamus Finnigan? Neville Longbottom? Or maybe it was a woman. She supposed she would never know.

 _ **Well I hate her. She's insecure but somehow full of herself. She's embarrassing. She's shallow. She's… I can't even describe it.**_

 _So, not your friend?_

Kamelia slammed the journal shut. Stupid Gryffindors.

* * *

It was Halloween. The first Halloween where he could just have a solemn evening with Remus and Sirius, or so he thought.

They were in a pub, what Sirius said was Dad's favorite pub, when the reporters swarmed in. He should have known better than to go out in public. Usually, he wore some sort of disguise or didn't go out at all. No reporter dared cross McGonagall, so being at school gave him a false sense of security.

"Mr. Potter! Did you know that this is the anniversary of your parents' death?"

"Is it true that you saw your parents' ghosts the night you defeated You-Know-Who?"

"What did they say?"

"Mr. Potter!"

"Mr. Potter!"

Normally, Sirius would be the one to do something stupid, but Harry, who barely had more than a sip of firewhiskey before tonight, was the first to make a fool of himself. The whole two glasses of brandy made him slur loudly, "Leave."

A few glasses and candles shook, reminding Harry of when he was a kid, but surprise, surprise, none of them left. Remus yanked Sirius back in his seat but wasn't used to having to keep Harry in line too.

"I said LEAVE!" Flipping a table is one way to sober up…

* * *

Harry secluded himself in his dorm room the morning after that. Even Ron had the emotional capacity to know that he needed to be alone. He didn't know what he thought life would be like after Voldemort, but he never thought that going out in public would be an issue. He thought his life could just go on or finally start.

His parents' favorite pub, where they got married… There was so much he still didn't know about them, and he was hoping that last night would be a time when he could get some of that information from Remus and Sirius. He wondered what their laughs sounded like…

Instead of leaving and doing just that at Sirius's new house, he flipped a table, which was caught on camera at least half a dozen times. He didn't leave quietly either. Embarrassment and residual anger made him leave with a flurry of swears and threats. It was so unlike him. He didn't need Remus to tell him that. There was so much he had been holding in over the past few months, and it started to bubble up last night. Harry wasn't willing to admit that just the tip of the iceberg revealed itself last night.

He glared at the journal when it lit up. The handwriting was shaky, so "Trixie" must've been drinking last night too. Her handwriting was shaky half the time they wrote back and forth, although Harry was one to talk, considering last night. He doubted he would be drinking for a long time. Harry was tempted to ignore her, and he should have. The message had no substance anyway.

 _ **Write my Arthimancy essay for me, Harry. The hang over potions have been hidden from me!**_

A picture of a crying face accompanied it. Harry should have shut the book and taken a nap. Instead he wrote, _I'm not in that class. Leave me alone. I'm not in the mood._

Harry raised his eyebrows when a red wine colored stain dripped on the paper. _**Sorry! But this is the best cure for a hangover I've got! What's the matter, Harry?**_

 _Never mind._ Harry rubbed at his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep, but he couldn't. After about twenty minutes, he wrote. _I made a fool of myself last night._

 _ **Welcome to the club.**_

"Idiot," Harry muttered. How could he explain that he was a "hero" that had his every move scrutinized? Then, she'd know it was him and any entry he posted could end up in the paper. He quickly wrote, _I have to be a role model._

 _ **Do you want to be?**_

Harry frowned. Good question. He found himself telling the truth. _I don't know._

* * *

After that, he started to write about more personal subjects. Harry realized that since everything was anonymous, so he had nothing to lose when writing to "Trixie." There would be no pitying looks like Ron and Hermione would give. She wouldn't be worried like Remus or Sirius. And since she didn't believe he was actually Harry Potter, she wouldn't leak anything he wrote to the press.

 **Do you have a girlfriend, Harry?** Sober Trixie. Interesting.

 _Does my hand count?_ Like he said, he has nothing to lose. He imagined her laughing. She was the one who claimed she had "an eighteen inch throbbing cock."

 **No.**

 _Trouble in paradise?_

 **No.**

 _Really?_

 **I have a date. With Not My Hand.**

 _Congrats?_

 **Are you a pureblood?**

Harry frowned. She had never wondered about his identity until now, and of course her curiosity had do with blood status. _No._

He waited for a snide comment, for her not to be so friendly and full of jokes. He expected her to ask if he was a "mudblood." Instead she replied, **Lucky.**

It was so unexpected that Harry wasn't sure how to respond.

* * *

His hand was on the small of her back. Kamelia tried not to react. Her parents were here. So was his father. Her favorite restaurant was rented out. Mother had tears in her eyes, and Draco was making more effort than usual to pretend to not be repulsed by Pansy. Kamelia needed a drink.

But she couldn't have one. Draco made sure to remind her of it this morning. She was tempted to tell him that everyone could see he no longer loved Pansy, even Pansy herself. But she felt too sick to concentrate today. She knew this was coming. She knew it.

It didn't make it any less horrible when Theo got down on one knee and said, "Will you marry me?"

Kamelia hesitated for a second too long. His smile started to falter. Mother's face started to wrinkle with worry, and Father's disgusted, disappointed gaze began to increase in intensity. Draco's eyebrows raised, but the rest of his expression was as unreadable as ever. There was only one answer. She owed this to her family. "Yes."

 **Please review and let me know what you think! :)**


	2. I'm an alcoholic

**Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 2 I'm an Alcoholic

The engagement ring glittered on her hand. Kamelia knew it was coming. Father had been working on the marriage contract since the War ended, since he found out what she did. Lucius Fucking Malfoy was so disgusted that he barely even acknowledged her. He was selling his tarnished treasure to the Notts, the only ones who would "buy" her.

"It's ten in the morning." Draco. Father's pride and joy.

Kamelia curled her lip but put down the firewhiskey bottle. "Ever heard of knocking?"

"Could you go one Saturday without getting sloshed?" he asked angrily.

"Yes," she said simply. "I just don't want to."

"You mean you can't," he snapped.

Kamelia turned to face him. Her older brother had no idea why she drank, even though it was partially his fault. The only problem was that he didn't remember. She made sure of it, which was driving him mad. "I can. I simply choose not to."

"Prove it," he challenged.

Asshole. "No."

"I'll tell Mr. Nott," he warned. "He's already concerned about an heir. He tells Father you look sickly."

Of course he would know. Father's little clone in training, already knowing that this was a bigger threat than tell their own family. She was basically Nott's family now. Or at least, she would be come July. Father would never forgive her if she fucked up the marriage contract. Mother already didn't trust her.

"You're full of shit," she muttered.

Her brother grinned tightly, but it wasn't the usual smug little grin he had whenever he bested her. There was no glee in his eyes, no brags on his lips. Instead, he said grimly, "You're spending the day with me."

* * *

 _Feeing artsy?_ Spending the day with Draco meant spending the day in the library. Kamelia was not in the mood for studying and found herself doodling in the journal. He rolled his eyes at the sight of it, but thankfully let her be.

 **No.** She had to force her hand to stay steady. And it was _not_ because she needed a drink. She was just tried. That was all. **Feeling** **bored.**

 _My dad says, "Say hello to your serial killer friend."_

Kamelia kept doodling, wondering what her own father thought of the journal. Draco would know, but she wasn't in the mood to so much as look at him right now. After finishing her picture of a rose, she wrote, **Hello Harry Potter's Dad.**

An hour later and after getting a headache that felt like a spike being driven into her head, Kamelia got a response. _Sorry. He doesn't like that I talk to you more than necessary. Both wars really did a number on him._

 _ **Oh?**_ Her handwriting was worse than when she was drunk, and she could barely concentrate enough to write.

 _Sometimes it feels like he doesn't think the War is over._

Kamelia wondered what her own father felt about the end of the War. Was he relieved or bitter? She kept her distance too much to know. And he let her. _**At least he cares about you.**_

"Your hands are shaking," Draco hissed. Kamelia glared at him. "You're going through withdrawal."

"I am not!" She intended to be firm and annoyed. Instead, she yelled so loud that she earned a fair share of dirty looks and shushes. Kamelia clenched her fists and started shoving her unread books in her bag.

Of course her _stupid_ brother had to follow her.

* * *

"Say hello to your serial killer friend for me," Sirius said sarcastically.

Harry thought that loafing around Sirius's new house on a Saturday would be fun, that he'd experience the comfortable homey feeling of having a day of nothing. Instead, he was experiencing the trials and tribulations of having an overprotective parent. Sirius was glaring at him from across the sitting room while Harry wrote, _My dad says, "Say hello to your serial killer friend."_

"Done." Harry grinned in a way that Remus said reminded him of Lily. Usually, his godfather would throw a pillow at him or threaten to pelt him with dungbombs as soon as his latest shipment came in. Not today, however. "What?"

"Do you talk to her every day?" Sirius asked (demanded to know).

"No," Harry lied, even though he knew that Sirius already knew the answer. And so what if he did? It was all anonymous anyway. It wasn't like anything would come of it. He liked having someone he could talk to about anything without fear of the consequences.

But Sirius was in full on helicopter parent mode. "What do you talk about? What does she know about you? If she tried to get you to meet somewhere... Don't. She could be there with all the Death Eaters that managed to get a slap on the wrist. If she's even a she. It could be—"

"Sirius—" Harry tried, but Sirius had snatched the journal out of his hands, just as Trixie wrote, **Hello Harry Potter's Dad.**

"YOU TOLD HER YOUR NAME!" Sirius bellowed at the sight of her inconvenient response. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

"I—" Harry knew he wasn't going to get two words in. Why'd Remus have to grade papers on a Saturday?

"OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE!" Sirius shouted. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHO THIS-THIS _PERSON_ IS! SHE'S GOING TO TRICK YOU AND…"

Harry did his best to tune Sirius out until his godfather would eventually tire himself out. He listened to bits and pieces, like how he would be murdered, held hostage, or have his body parts sold on the black market. Sirius only picked up on this when Harry checked his watch, wondering when Remus would come home for supper.

"Are you listening to me?" Sirius half yelled, half panted. "Harry—"

"She doesn't think it's really me," Harry grumbled as he pried the journal from Sirius's tight grip. "She thought I was being sarcastic."

"What?" Sirius hissed.

Harry rolled his eyes, making Sirius clench his jaw. "She introduced herself as Harry Potter, so I did. It's a joke."

"You're lying." Sirius was unaffected by Harry's hurt look. "For some Death Eater."

"She's not a Death Eater!" Harry found himself yelling in exasperation. It wasn't long ago that he himself accused her of being a Death Eater.

"How do you know?" Sirius spat.

Harry felt anger boil under his skin. Sirius was treating him like a child. He was eighteen, not twelve. "She told me!"

Sirius threw his hands in the air. "Oh! Well if she told you then it must be true! You know what Trixie is short for? Bellatrix, Harry. That's her nickname. The most devoted Death Eater out there."

"Well she's dead so…" Harry started. But Sirius found some "proof" that Trixie had ill intentions and latched onto it.

"And well respected among the zealots," Sirius pressed. "Especially the girls who wanted to take the Mark. If you're so sure of yourself, then ask her. I want to see what she says."

Harry hesitated. He hesitated, and Sirius saw it and was ready to pounce on his doubt. "I'm going for a walk."

"Harry! Don't you leave this house! HARRY!"

He made sure to slam the door.

Since it was cold, Harry eventually went to a café, ordered a crappy cup of coffee, and responded back to Trixie. _Sorry. He doesn't like that I talk to you more than necessary. Both wars really did a number on him._

 _ **Oh?**_ Her handwriting was shaky again. It was Saturday, so it was only a matter of time before she started drinking.

Harry sighed and wondered if he'd be able to get anything out of her. _Sometimes it feels like he doesn't think the War is over._

 _ **At least he cares about you.**_ Somehow, Harry knew she was rather agitated. _**My dad hates me.**_

 _Why?_ Harry wanted to avoid his own problems by talking about hers.

 _ **Did you two fight?**_

 _Yes._

 _ **Over me?**_

 _No. I wanted the last chocolate frog._

 _ **You should make up with him. I can't make up with my dad.**_ Trixie paused, either to gather her thoughts, or Harry assumed, get another drink. _**You don't want to wait until you can't.**_

She made it sound like her father was dead. Maybe he was. Sometimes, Harry thought they knew everything about each other and yet knew nothing. Either way, the last time she spoke to her father was obviously a fight.

 _It was his fault,_ Harry wrote stubbornly. _I'm not going to apologize._

 _ **Are you close?**_

Not as close as he would like to be. Although it was out of his control, Harry regretted having only a handful of encounters with Sirius until recently. Sometimes it felt like they were close, and sometimes it felt like he barely knew the man.

 _Sort of. We get on well enough, but I didn't really know about him until I was a teenager._

 _ **I was my dad's princess, until recently. I wish I could go back to that.**_

Harry thought about Sirius's side of this. His parents, his godfather's best friends, were dead. Tonks was dead. His brother Regulus, Fred, Mad-Eye, and too many others. He often said that Harry and Remus were his only family. But Harry just wanted to be, well, just Harry. He wanted to have friends without worrying about Death Eaters avenging Voldemort. As much as he denied Sirius's panic, he did want to meet "Trixie." If she asked, he would want to go and have a butterbeer with her without thinking twice.

But he couldn't. Because he was Harry Potter. Harry Potter who got death threats in the mail on a daily, who made the front page when he when he went to Ginny's Harpie matches. Despite his dramatics, Sirius was right, in a way. He couldn't trust just anyone.

Harry found himself asking, _Why do you want me to call you Trixie?_

No answer.

* * *

Kamelia was sitting on her bed when she read that message. _Why do you want me to call you Trixie?_ She had forgotten about that. At the time, she was drunk, so of course she would make such a bitterly stupid request.

 _"Trixie," he used to whisper in her ear. And she let him. She let him do whatever he wanted._

"Kami?" She had forgotten Draco was sitting by her bed, dutifully making sure she didn't drink today. The room started to spin as she tried to focus on his concerned face.

 _Why do you want me to call you Trixie?_

 _Why do you want me to call you Trixie?_

 _Why do you want me to call you Trixie?_

Kamelia slammed the journal shut so she wouldn't have to look at the simple question. A ringing in her ears started to increase in volume the more she thought about it and the more she ignored her brother's questions. Instead of listening to him, she thought of the answer to that question and leaned over her bed and heaved.

Draco shot up and led her to the small bathroom she shared with Pansy. She hadn't eaten at all today, so only bile actually came up.

"This has to stop, Kami," he muttered. He didn't even know what she was crying about. But who was she kidding. She wasn't sick because of "Harry's" question. Did it make her feel dirty and used? Yes. But it wasn't why her head was pounding, why her hands were shaking, or why she was puking her guts out.

"I'm sorry," she whimpered when she was finally able to stop retching.

Draco softened and put a hand on her shoulder. "I know… I know that you can't stop. By yourself that is. I-I'll figure out how—"

"I promise I'll get help," she whispered.

Kamelia felt like the lowest of the low when he took her to bed.

* * *

"Sirius," Remus tried as his best friend paced the living room. "If you call the Ministry, you'll humiliate him."

"It's better than him being kidnapped or…" Sirius couldn't bring himself to say "murdered." "How could he do this?"

Harry had been gone a full five minutes before Sirius sent Remus a Patronus. Remus had spent the next half hour trying to calm him down and not make Harry even angrier with him. "I think he was telling the truth, Padfoot."

"He's probably with her right now!" Sirius fretted. "She, whoever she or _he_ is, was probably waiting for an opportunity like this. How could McGonagall be so stupid?!"

"Minerva knows they were just kids," Remus tried. He should have known that he would only earn him a glare. "Anyway, Sirius, I think he was telling the truth because she called you Harry Potter's Dad. As in Harry told her that you were his father. If she really thought he was Harry Potter, she would know that James is…"

Sirius tensed as it sunk in that Harry referred to him as his father, not his friend or godfather. Harry saw him as a father. "I…"

"He's been through a lot," Remus pressed. "If there someone he can talk to, you should let him be. He's not a child, Sirius. Hasn't been for a long time. The things he's seen, been forced to do to survive…"

Before Sirius could say anything, Harry opened the front door, looking down at his feet as soon as he saw his godfather was still in the sitting room. "I—"

"No." Sirius sighed. "Let's just… What do you want to order for dinner?"

Harry looked at him curiously, making Remus want to smack Sirius on the back of his head. "But—"

"Pizza?" Sirius finally looked Harry in the eye, trying to show that he was sorry, that he didn't want the boy's apology because it wasn't necessary.

Harry seemed torn between hurt and relief at the lack of discussion, but Sirius was too worried about rejection to see it. "Alright, but you're calling."

"Why?" Sirius whined. The man had yet to master the art of using the telephone.

Harry forced himself to grin. "We'll go with you to pick it up. I'll take pictures while Remus teaches you how to count Muggle money in front of everyone."

"Prat." Sirius went to tousle Harry's hair and nearly jumped out of his skin when the boy hugged him tightly. "Harry…"

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean it."

Remus felt like he was intruding, but he wanted to see what Sirius said. Because Sirius definitely meant it. Every word.

"No. I…" Sirius hesitated before hugging him back. "I want you to be safe, Harry. But I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Harry pulled away and stared at Sirius for a moment. There was still much left unsaid, but Remus had a feeling that both of them knew what it was. The words were for another time and hopefully not another argument. Harry forced himself to smile again. "I'll get the phone for you, Padfoot."

"Oi!"

Remus rolled his eyes and wondered what James would say about all of this. Lily would still be lecturing them both. Surely, they'd be happy though, that Sirius and Harry thought of each other as father and son.

* * *

Draco woke up early Sunday, even though he knew Kami would not. Once he was sure she was out cold, he made an appointment for her to stay at a private hospital, one that wouldn't tell Mother and Father that she was there. He hoped that she would stay for a few weeks and come back cured. He'd tell McGonagall once she was gone. Hogwarts' new headmistress had been surprisingly accommodating.

The summer was filled with whispers from his parents. They wouldn't tell him what had happened, but he certainly noticed that Father all of the sudden hated Kami, and Mother spent the summer in tears. His sister wouldn't tell him what happened, but over the years, she had become more and more distant.

Once Pansy had left the small room the two of them shared, Draco went in expecting to either find his younger sister sound asleep or sick as a dog. Instead, she was wide awake and rather _chipper_. She giggled and stumbled over to him.

"Ready for brunch, Drakey-Poo?" She laughed as she pinched his cheek. Draco was too angry to even move. "I'm going to get a _mimosa!_ "

Draco stayed put when she left to go find Theo. What was he going to do?

* * *

Kamelia barely remembered Sunday, although she knew that Draco was probably mad at her. He was the one who overdramatized things. The last thing that she expected him to do was snitch.

"Ms. Malfoy," McGonagall said curtly, scaring the living daylights out of Kamelia. It was first thing in the morning, and the old bat was right behind her. "A word."

At the moment, Kamelia had no idea what the problem was. The walk to the new headmistress's office was tense and silent. She tried to focus on the sound of her own heels clicking up the stairs, not McGonagall's rigid shoulders or general coldness.

"Cherry tree." McGonagall even sounded irritated with her own password.

Kamelia sat down without being asked to, something that made McGonagall's nostril's flare, and felt rather pleased with herself for not looking as nervous as she felt. Although it was never stated, she figured most, if not all, of the Slytherins were one disciplinary issue away from being expelled.

"I am not going to waste time asking for a confession," McGonagall said coldly. "You room has been searched. Keeping alcohol at Hogwarts is strictly forbidden. There are children as young as eleven years old that attend this school, Ms. Malfoy."

She was going to kill Draco. This must be his way of getting her to stop drinking. "I'm of age."

McGonagall, of course, wasn't having it. "If you are caught keeping alcohol in your room again, Ms. Malfoy, you will be suspended. A third offense will lead to expulsion. I believe that is more than fair."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kamelia spat before she could stop herself. The look she received as a result made her soul shrivel up.

"It means…" McGonagall's lip curled before she was able to stop herself. "That I am well aware that you have a problem, Ms. Malfoy. I am trying to give you a chance to finish your final year at Hogwarts."

"My brother—"

Before she could accuse Draco of being a liar, McGonagall held up a hand to silence her and then gestured to Dumbledore's portrait. The old goat suddenly pretended to be in a deep sleep. "You returned from spring break your fourth year intoxicated. You had to be awoken with smelling salts to get off the train at the beginning of your fifth year. Poppy treated you for alcohol poisoning your sixth. You are an alcoholic, Ms. Malfoy, and if I had been made aware of it before you were of age, your parents would be at this meeting."

"I am not." Not even her brother would use the word _alcoholic._ "You just want me out of this school because—"

"You were not a Death Eater." For the first time that Kamelia had ever seen, McGonagall softened. "None of you were."

Kamelia thinned her lips. She wasn't a Death Eater. She was worse. Much worse. "I take it you've cleaned out my room?"

McGonagall nodded. "If you need help, Ms. Malfoy—"

"If you will excuse me, I have class," Kamelia said with what she supposed possibly passed for politeness. McGonagall nodded with just as much forced civility.

* * *

Draco was waiting for her outside the Headmistress's Office. "Kami—"

She roughly pushed passed him. "Don't fucking talk to me."

* * *

As expected, her room was empty when she returned after dinner. Seeing that empty room only made Kamelia want to drink more. McGonagall didn't ban her from drinking. She just banned her from keeping alcohol in her room.

"Wanna go out tonight Pans?" Her best friend was sulking in their room. Draco must have canceled a date or something.

Pansy lit up at the thought. Anything was better than sitting around facing reality. The love of her life didn't love her back. "I'll be ready in an hour."

* * *

The one downside to working security was that he had to work odd hours. Sirius only took the job to guarantee Harry and his friends' safety. He was tempted to take the Marauders' Map from Harry to keep tabs on everyone, but after this weekend, he couldn't bear to do it.

"Hey!" Sirius had yet to admit he was a glorified prefect, but catching drunk teenagers made him feel like a hypocrite. At least they were Slytherins. "It's four in the bloody morning!"

Pansy Parkinson, who Sirius was just itching to get expelled after she tried to give Harry away to Voldemort, was struggling to get back to the dungeons. "S-sorry, sir. We lost track of time."

Kamelia was barely conscious and slumped against her. At the sound of Sirius's voice, she slowly forced her eyes open as much as she could. "Hey," she purred as she threw herself on him. "I've been a _bad_ girl. Are you going to teach me a lesson?"

"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will," Sirius said dryly as her clammy hands caressed the back of his neck. He roughly pushed her off. "You know we're cousins, right?"

"Please, sir!" Parkinson begged. Kamelia sobered up a bit at his words, meaning she was standing without wobbling.

"The both of you—"

Kamelia passed out before he could finish.

* * *

"Is she going to be alright?"

Kamelia tried to ignore Draco's worried questions. She was in the Hospital Wing for the day, and of course he got wind of it. Since she requested no visitors, he used the excuse of bringing her some things to do. Pomfrey wouldn't say alcohol poisoning or that she had a seizure. She would just yes her brother to death.

 **How's life treating you, Harry?**

 _I'm in Binns' class. What do you think?_

 **That my presence is brightening your terrible life. Did you make up with your dad?**

 _Pretty much. It's still a little awkward though. How was your weekend? You wrote to me at three in the morning the other day, and I quote, "Grilled cheese is better than sex."_

"There isn't anything…" Draco swallowed heavily. Kamelia pretended not at look at him. "… that you could do. To cure her or…"

Pomfrey held up a hand to silence him. Kamelia felt horrible when she saw how close to tears he was. "I'm afraid you have to leave, Mr. Malfoy. You can discuss the matter further with your sister when she is released."

He left, and Kamelia turned away from Pomfrey's penetrating gaze. She wrote, **I'm an alcoholic.**

 **Thank you for the reviews Guest, myafroatemydog, and Mr. Meowington!**


	3. I'm sick

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 3 I'm Sick

 **I'm an alcoholic.**

Harry was reminded of Sirius, who he never thought had a drinking problem. In fact, if Hermione commented on it, he would get rather cross with her and say things that he would later apologize for. Still, Harry never admitted that Sirius had a drinking problem until Sirius admitted that Sirius had a drinking problem.

 _Are you okay?_ He knew that she wasn't but also didn't know what else to say. More than half the time when she talked to him, she mentioned being "tipsy," or hungover, or he could tell that she was just plain drunk. Yet somehow, he was still in shock.

 **My family worries about me. Well, the only family I have that is still willing to put up with my shit. Sometimes, I know that he's worried that I'm not going to wake up in the morning, but when I want to drink, it's like I don't care. I don't care how he checks to see if I'm still breathing at night or I get mad at him when he just tries to help. He worries about me, and I laugh in his face. Spend the night out clubbing with my friend.**

Harry read the paragraph several times, trying to figure out what to say. Eventually, Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. "The bell rang, Harry."

He had class with McGonagall next, so there would surely be hell to pay if he was late. He quickly scribbled, _I'll help you._

* * *

"Sirius?" They were decorating the Christmas tree at the house. So far, Harry had only dropped and broken one ornament. Sirius had sat on two.

His godfather jumped, thinking he had been caught eating one of the candy canes on the tree. Lucky for him, Remus was immersed in the paper he was grading by the fire. "Hm?"

"What made you want to stop drinking?" Harry asked as he tried to put tinsel on the tree.

Sirius leaned to the side so he could see him on the other side of the tree and raised his eyebrows. "What's this about?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Sirius always worried about him. "I'm worried about someone."

"That girl?" At least he was trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

Harry shrugged. "It's private."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine. But only because Remus is in the room."

"Good to know I'm your conscience, Padfoot," Remus muttered as he wrote a comment on the paper he was grading.

Sirius sighed and tossed the candy cane, missing the nearby plate, which caused it to land on the sofa. With a glance to make sure Remus wasn't watching, he cleaned it with his wand and put it on the plate.

"You wanted to do things, and I noticed that I was always either too hungover to want to or too worried about getting to the bar to want to go." Sirius sighed. "I wanted to spend time with you, but I was too busy making myself a zombie to actually spend time with you."

Harry looked away and started picking up more ornaments. "I figured you were just tired."

Sirius picked up an orb that had a picture of his brother on it and smiled sadly. "Yes. I heard you yelling that at Hermione this summer."

"She—"

"Was right, as always." Sirius stared at the orb, watching the image of his brother as a child wave at him. "I stopped for you, Harry. I… I couldn't accept that Lily and James were gone. I still felt like I was twenty years old, finding their bodies… Every time I closed my eyes…"

Harry stared as Sirius silently continued with the decorating. Nightmares plagued him constantly, so he knew how Sirius felt. Before today, his godfather made it seem like he just wanted to have fun since the War was over, that he simply took things a little too far.

"I'm sorry," Harry said quietly. "I-I didn't know."

Sirius frowned, as if Harry had just sprouted wings and grown another head in front of him. "Because I didn't tell you."

Harry nodded, and the silence eventually became more comfortable. He wondered what Trixie was doing.

* * *

"Harry" suggested slowly reducing how much she drank so she wouldn't get as sick. Kamelia was quick to realize that she didn't have the self-control for that. He suggested Muggle meetings, which the thought of made her skin crawl.

 _You have an excuse for every suggestion I have,_ he wrote when she turned down the idea of a potion that would make her sick if she drank. Kamelia was tempted to slam her book shut. McGonagall said they didn't have to write over break, but that would mean having to talk to Draco.

They were alone on the train ride home. Pansy thought if she claimed she was staying at Hogwarts for Christmas because of a "fight" with her mother that Draco would invite her to stay at the Manor. It didn't work, so Pansy was busy packing and grumbling to herself. Theo was planning his bachelor party with Blaise.

"Your hands are shaking," Draco said flatly. She shouldn't have told "Harry" because now she had two of them in her ear. "It is a shame that the pub isn't open before the nine am train ride."

Kamelia huffed and wrote, **I want to try cold turkey again.**

 _Does your family know?_

 **No.**

 _You could get really sick._

 **I'll tell them I have the flu.**

 _Trixe…_

 **Don't call me that. Ever again.**

This time Kamelia did slam the book shut, even though she knew he was just trying to help. Even more than that, she knew that he was right. She turned to Draco. "I'm going to try to stop over break. So if I'm sick, make a big show about not wanting to catch it, like you did when we were kids."

For a moment, he seemed taken aback. They had never spoke of it since that day he tattled to her to McGonagall. Draco smiled sadly at the childhood memories, back when they were happy. "I'll do my best if you do yours."

* * *

 **Don't call me that. Ever again.**

Harry was still fuming over her last message. She was the one who told him to call her that! And when he asked her why, she wouldn't answer! How the bloody hell he supposed to know?

"What did that cookie dough ever do to you?" Ginny laughed as he pounded it instead of rolling it flat.

Harry sighed. "Nothing."

Ginny forced herself to turn her smirk into a smile. She handed him a cookie cutter and said lightly, "You're in love."

"What?" Harry spat. If this was what she called love, he would hate to see what she called hate.

That only earned him another laugh. "You've been moping and sighing all day. Almost like Ron when Florean Fortescue stopped selling peanut butter marshmallow ice cream."

"Very funny, Gin." They were making sugar cookies, but the cutter she gave him was in the shape of a gingerbread man. When Harry tried to pull it out, he was too rough, and the head fell off.

"What's her name?" Ginny tried to be a bit gentler, but the laughter was still in her eyes.

Harry threw his hands in the air, causing the headless sugar cookie man to go flying. "Apparently, I don't fucking know!"

Ginny blinked in surprise. "What?"

Harry growled to himself. She wouldn't understand. She refused to go to Hogwarts because of the whole journal thing. "It's complicated. I think. Unless she's just a first class asshole."

"Oh." Ginny raised her eyebrows. "You're definitely in love."

"Shut up!"

Ginny laughed and dumped a cup of flour on his head. He retaliated with the sugar, and thankfully, she abandoned the conversation for a food fight.

He did not love Trixie or whatever he was supposed to magically know to call her. He didn't even know who she was.

* * *

By the end of the night, Kamelia had contracted the "flu" and excused herself to bed halfway through dinner. Her heart was pounding so fast that she couldn't sleep, but she was too weak to do anything besides lay in her bed and shiver and sweat. She could barely get up to retch.

Her head hurt too much to open her eyes when someone entered her room. The soft, almost silent footsteps made her think it was a house elf anyway. Draco often sent them to check up on her. Unlike a house elf, however, this person conjured a chair and sat down.

"You aren't pregnant, are you?" her mother whispered accusingly.

Kamelia opened her eyes and stared for a moment before rasping, "No."

"Good. Because that is the _last_ thing we need." Mother always tried her best to be cold and unforgiving like Father, to turn everything off like a switch. As the Final Battle proved, she wasn't as similar to Father as everyone believed. As soon as the hateful words left her mouth, Mother burst into tears and threw herself at her daughter. "My poor sweet flower!"

Kamelia just sat there and let her cry as she drifted off to sleep. She was a horrible, rotten daughter.

* * *

 _ **He**_ _gave her her first drink when she was fourteen. Father had been arrested, causing Mother and Draco to shrink into themselves. Kamelia remembered feeling lonely and scared and like her world was ending, but no one believed she was grown up enough to know it. But_ _ **he**_ _thought she was grown up enough._

 _"Things have changed since I've returned. I don't feel myself," he said quietly as he poured her a goblet of wine. Kamelia stared at it. Mother wouldn't allow her to have it, but Mother wasn't here. She was in bed, probably staring at photographs._

 _Kamelia took the goblet and tentatively took a sip, suddenly feeling rather grown up._ _ **He**_ _trusted her enough to talk about his problems. Everyone else thought she was a child, that she couldn't handle anything that was happening around her. So they didn't talk to her at all._

 _"I'm sorry," she said, not knowing what else to say. Because no matter how much she felt like it, she wasn't an adult. She didn't see the manipulations or that he wasn't at all lost like she was. He was pretending to be so she felt like he understood her._

 _But that didn't mean she had to let him put his hand on her thigh…_

Kamelia sat up with a start, hyperventilating and drenched in sweat. At the time, she had blamed her family for her loneliness, but conversation goes both ways. She never told them how she felt. She never told them that someone was taking advantage of her overwhelming sense of loss. How were they supposed to know if she never told them?

With strength she didn't know she had, Kamelia pushed back her covers and got out of bed. The floors felt impossibly cold, but she didn't bother to put her slippers on.

She used to love music and dancing. Her cello was her refuge, but she hadn't touched it since that day when she was fourteen. Suddenly, at two in the morning, Kamelia wanted to play.

Dust coated her finger tips as she ran her finger tips over it. Three years had gone by, so it was in the music room instead of her bedroom. With a flick of her wand, it was shining in the moonlight. Kamelia closed her eyes as she got lost in the music, lost in memories of simpler times.

 _She was seven, maybe eight. Kamelia loved chasing the peacocks, and she liked to think they enjoyed it too, like they were playing tag. Now that her confidence was in the dirt along with her dignity, she wondered if she was being cruel without knowing it._

 _Snow was everywhere, much like today. Her breaths came out in puffs as she gasped and giggled while chasing the pure white peacock. She didn't even realize she chased it onto the lake until she heard the ice crack under her feet. The bird flew over her head to safety as the cracks deepened. Kamelia just stood there like a little fool, unsure of what to do and as a result, doing nothing. The only thing she did do was shriek when she went crashing through the ice._

 _She did nothing as she sank, too in shock by what was happening to her to react. It was too dark to see. She was too scared to even scream again. Before she could move, Kamelia felt another crash next to her._

 _Her brother pulled her up before she could fully fathom what had happened. She was above water once again, gasping for air and seeing nothing but snow and ice surrounding the black water that had nearly taken her._

 _"What were you thinking?" Draco yelled as he tried to pull her up and drag them both back to land. "How many times has Father told you the ice has thin patches?"_

 _Kamelia was still panting when they reached land and didn't say anything. Their parents were inside, entertaining guests at their yearly Yule Ball. They would have no idea if she had drowned._

 _"Well?" Draco demanded, sounding too grown up for someone only a year older than her. "What do you have to say for yourself?"_

 _Instead of fighting with him like she normally would for "bossing her around," Kamelia threw her arms around him and started crying uncontrollably. She would be dead if it wasn't for him. Because of her slow processing, she would be dead before she could try in vain to fight._

"I haven't heard you play in a long time."

For a split second, Kamelia thought it was Father standing it the doorway, that he wanted to see her play, but it was Draco. He was always there for her, even when she wasn't there for herself.

"I'm a bit rusty," she admitted as she stopped playing. She wanted to tell him why she had stopped playing. The words wanted to burst out of her mouth, but she couldn't say it. "I just… suddenly wanted to play again."

"It would be nice." He cleared his throat and looked away. Emotions were never the Malfoy men's strong suit. "To have you back."

 _It would be nice to be back._ Kamelia didn't say that aloud though and simply started to play again. Eventually, he sat at his piano and started to play with her. They made music until the sun came up.

* * *

The past few days were like he had her back. Draco had never been so relieved, not even when the War ended. They used to be best friends, until one day, mysteriously, they just weren't.

 _She's trying to lay off the alcohol,_ he had said, _so if you could not drink around her…_ Draco remembered his words clear as day. Because he said them a bloody hour ago! He silently fumed as he watched Theo walk to Kami with a champagne glass in each hand. When he saw her reach for it, Draco strode across the room and punch Theo square in the face before Kami could fully make her decision.

Pansy, who was always lingering like a persistent cough, tried to pull him away, causing Draco to snap. "Stay away from me!" he yelled. "Can't you see I want nothing to do with you! Get away from me!"

"Happy fucking Christmas," Kami hissed as she pushed past him to chase after a crying Pansy. Happy fucking Christmas.

* * *

 **I got in a fight with Not My Hand.**

That was how she planned to break the ice after the Trixie incident. Harry glared at the journal and decided he'd rather see how many cookies Ron could fit into his mouth. So far there were four.

 **Harryyy!** Harry rolled his eyes. Five. He was beginning to worry for Ron's safety at six, but Ginny kept egging him on.

 **Is this about before?** Ron started coughing at seven.

 **Okay. Fine. You were right. I have a fever and lied to my mother about it, which is wrong, but I'm going to be okay. It's been four days, and I haven't drunk anything.**

Harry jumped backwards when Ron spit eight cookies out on the floor. Mrs. Weasley fretted, Sirius's bark like laughter filled the living room, and Hermione tried to keep her disapproval to herself. He should focus on the silly moment in front of him instead.

 **I'm sorry,** she finally said. **I shouldn't have told you to call me that. It really hurts, and as you may have noticed, I can be rather self-sabotaging.**

Hermione couldn't hold it in any longer. "Ronald! If you let your mother magic away that disgusting mess herself, so help me!"

"I nearly died, Hermione!"

"Of your own volition!"

 _Are you okay?_ Harry finally wrote. He stubbornly didn't accept her apology.

 **Not My Hand is not talking to me. I'm sick in bed, and my mum keeps asking me if I'm up the duff. How's your Christmas been?**

Harry watched his friend bicker, Sirius laugh, and George crack a rare smile. _It's been one of the best Christmases I've ever had._

 **Show off.**

"Harry's talking to his girlfriend!" Ginny teased, making kissy faces and causing Sirius to have a mini-meltdown.

"Harry!"

 _I'll talk to you later. I have to do a bit of damage control._

 **I'll be waiting to hear about the best Christmas ever!**

* * *

Pansy Parkinson got in a fight with her mum before break. Malfoy dumped her in front of all of their friends and family during the Malfoy Yule Ball. Her father died in the War, and she was Kamelia Malfoy's drinking buddy. Harry couldn't stop thinking about her during the gossip filled train ride back to school.

Now, they were in McGonagall's, listening to her outline a small partner project. They were learning how to transfigure cloth into a skin graft. Before, she could fully pull out her list, Harry stood up quickly. "I'll work with Pansy!"

The silence only made him feel worse as the reality of what he just did sunk in. Pansy Parkinson's face was nearly as red as his while McGonagall stared. The professor turned headmistress broke from her shocked trance when Kamelia's obnoxious tittering broke the silence.

"Very well." McGonagall was smiling. He had to be right.

As a mortified Pansy walked to his desk, Kamelia laughed and put her hand near her mouth. She made it seem like she was holding something and moved her hand up and down, sticking her tongue to the side of her cheek.

"Shut the fuck up!" Pansy hissed. Kamelia was miming Pansy sucking his dick.

"Fifty points from Slytherin!" McGonagall yelled. "Ms. Malfoy, I'll see you in detention."

"Is this some sort of joke?" Pansy yell whispered as McGonagall started paring everyone off. Harry remembered "Trixie" had described her best friend. **Well I hate her. She's insecure but somehow full of herself. She's embarrassing. She's shallow. She's… I can't even describe it.** That was pretty much Kamelia Malfoy in a nutshell.

In fact, she was partnered with Ron, who she seemed to be trying to lean as far away from as possible as if she could catch poverty. Ron seemed just as thrilled as she was, but his twitching eye was more focused on Hermione working with the other Malfoy.

"No," Harry whispered. "I… I wanted to talk to you."

Pansy scowled as she took out her textbook. "About?"

"Well…" Harry suddenly found himself fumbling for words. His tongue felt two sizes too big for his mouth, and there were too many things he wanted to say at once. Somehow, out of the thousands of things he wanted to say, he blurted out, "I'm Harry Potter."

Pansy stared. "And I'm Pansy Parkinson."

"No, I mean…" He couldn't call her Trixie, even though that was the only name he had for her. He didn't want their first real face to face conversation to have a hurtful reminder to it. "I think… that we've been writing to each other."

Pansy raised one eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yes," Harry said, relieved that she didn't outright deny it. "I've wanted to meet you for a while."

Pansy smiled slightly. "I've wanted to meet you too."

* * *

"It's perfect!" Pansy threw herself on her bed and giggled. "Draco will be sure to take me back now! Potter is head over heels for me!"

Kamelia snorted. "For who he's been writing to. And Draco's never been the jealous type." Pansy gave her a look. "Alright fine, yes he has. But Pans, I think he's been holding that in for away. Let him go."

"What happened to us being sisters?" Pansy snapped.

Kamelia rolled her eyes. Pansy and her brother weren't happy together. "Potter's going to find out its not you."

Pansy stuck her nose in the air. "I don't care, as long as Draco sees us together."

 _Here we go,_ Kamelia thought. "I have homework, Pans. Go snog Potter."

Pansy grinned. "Not until dinner, when Draco will see."

* * *

He should wait. He had barely broken up with Pansy for a week, but he already wanted to see what Astoria was doing this weekend. Draco tried to busy himself with the evening edition of _The Prophet_ , but he couldn't concentrate. He read the article about Uncle Rodolphus being the only Death Eater so get the Kiss so far several times but had yet to absorb anything.

Out of the corner of his eye, Draco saw Pansy kissing a very confused looking Potter on the cheek. "Well I'll be damned… Fuck it."

Uncle Rodolphus stared blankly at him from the newspaper as he tossed it to the side to talk to Astoria.

* * *

 _You don't seem like yourself._ Kamelia blinked several times as she tried to concentrate enough to read the message from "Harry." She just wanted to forget today, but perhaps she over did it, after not drinking for nearly three weeks. She had intended for it to last but today…

"Ms. Malfoy?" the werewolf asked. He was her last class of the day. She just had to get through today… "Ms. Malfoy, class ended twenty minutes ago. Are you alright?"

 _"Are you alright?" her mother had asked. "Kamelia, how could you do this?"_

Kamelia burst into tears and tried to stand up, only to end up stumbling and knocking an ink bottle onto her journal. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mummy! Please forgive me!"

"Ms. Malfoy?" the wolf repeated, sounding concerned as he tried to help her upright. But Kamelia didn't see him.

 _"You are not a Malfoy," Father spat. "You have disgraced this family! You filthy—"_

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she whimpered as she started to pass out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorr…"

Remus often left students who fell asleep in class alone. They reminded him of Sirius, who used to wake up around dinner time in Slughorn's classroom or as much as he hated to admit, himself when he stayed up all night studying. It took him a while to realize Kamelia Malfoy wasn't sleeping. She was in a stupor.

When she passed out in his arms, he felt terrible as he laid her on her desk and sent Poppy a Patronus. She absolutely reeked of alcohol, and he found himself checking her pulse. Her water bottle obviously didn't have water in it.

Poppy nodded to him when she arrived ten minutes later. "Remus."

"I—"

"Not to worry," Poppy said firmly as she conjured a stretcher. She didn't seem surprised at all by the scene she was walking into. "I've got her."

Kamelia opened her eyes at the transfer from the desk to the stretcher. This time, she wasn't seeing her parents. "Hey," she whispered demurely. "Are Mum and Dad asleep? I think Draco's hiding Potter…"

Her icy hand weakly gripped his as she was taken away. Remus stood rooted on the spot for a very long time. Eventually, he packed up her things and headed for the dungeons. The most disturbing part of the ordeal was Draco's face when he dropped off her things and explained that his sister was sick.

 **Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter myafroatemydog, gr8rockstarrox, and SilverShadowWolf46!**

 **gr8rockstarrox: Kamelia is different spelling for Camellia, which is a flower name. From what I could find, it was a French and English spelling for it. Fun fact, most species of this flower need a lot of water and don't tolerate drought. Kamelia is someone who needs a lot of attention and was used to everyone taking care of her. And she drinks like a fish. ;)**

 **Any of you mad at me for her relapse? B)**

 **Oh and what should Harry call her now when they write to each other?**


	4. I'm Disgusting

Chapter 4 I'm Disgusting

When she was younger, before she went to Hogwarts, Draco touched a cursed book and was in St. Mungo's for nearly a week. Kamelia remembered the nauseating clean smell, the forced smiles, and hushed voices, but what she remembered most was that sound of air being magically forced in and out of her brother's lungs. The sound made her shudder whenever she thought about it.

So Kamelia instantly knew where she was when she woke up. St. Mungo's was a place that one could not forget. Her brother was looking at her like Mother used to look at him. The only difference was that he didn't have an annoying little girl asking why she wouldn't wake up and play.

After staring at each other for a few moments, he asked hoarsely, "What happened?"

His voice indicated that he was crying, but Kamelia turned away. "I'm sure you know. Why else would you be here?"

Draco's eyes hardened at her coldness, and he leaned away. "You went nearly three weeks without drinking. Then all of the sudden…"

"Have they cleared me to go back to school yet?" she asked lightly as she smoothed the sheets covering her lap. He didn't understand. No one did.

He squeezed the arms of his chair in an attempt to keep his temper in check. "You've been in and out of it for days." When he saw that she wasn't going to react, he pursed his lips. "And you remember what McGonagall said. You were drinking in Lupin's class. During a fucking test! You're suspended for two weeks."

"Excuse me?" Two weeks! That bloody cow couldn't be serious!

"I think you should spend that time in a treatment facility," he said bluntly. At her wounded, slapped in the face look, he softened. "Mother and Father won't know."

She didn't care about that. Because she wasn't going. "I'll stay at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Above a pub?" And like that, his emotions completely shut off in the typical Malfoy fashion. He briskly stood up and pointed at a trunk. "There are your things."

Kamelia watched as he started to leave. "Draco…"

His shoulders stiffened, but he didn't turn around. "I'm done."

* * *

Harry knew within ten minutes of being alone with Pansy Parkinson that something wasn't right. He thought perhaps she needed to be more comfortable with him, that she was too used to putting a mask on before everyone, but that nagging feeling didn't go away.

And there was the fact that she only wanted to be seen with him in public, in Draco Malfoy's line of vision. "Not My Hand" was seldom mentioned, and when he was, he sounded like a bit of an inconvenience to her. She didn't seem to like him, but she didn't dislike him either. Pansy looked at Malfoy as if he were God's gift to Earth.

"Can I still call you Trixie?" he tested one night at dinner. "When we write?"

Pansy looked startled for a moment, making Harry feel guilty. Perhaps he was wrong, and he had just now really hurt her. She fumbled with her words for a moment and then forced herself to smile. "Of course!" She gave him a quick, forceful kiss that nearly made Harry jump out of his skin. "It is fun isn't it? Like a secret game!"

Shoving her away was tempting. Harry wasn't almost placed in Slytherin for no good reason, but he wanted to let it go for now. Perhaps Pansy could help him find out who she really was. Harry further confirmed his suspicions when he asked, "Would you like to get a drink at Three Broomsticks this weekend?"

Pansy beamed, not because he was asking out on an official date, but because that was where Malfoy had lunch with his parents every Saturday. She didn't even hesitate to say, "Yes! I would kill for a glass of sherry!"

Harry pursed his lips and tried to not show his disappointment. He was going to figure this out.

* * *

 _How have you been?_ Kamelia rubbed her eyes as she read the message from Harry. Tom had officially cut her off for the night.

 _ **Fine. I mean well… you know.**_ He'd be able to tell by her handwriting that she was drunk, making her wish she hadn't responded until the morning, but… she was by herself and had no one to talk to. He was someone she could tell anything to, one of the few people she could. Well, now the only person, since her brother was done with her.

 _You've started drinking again._ There was a pause, and Kamelia sighed, waiting for the lecture, the coldness, or the anger. She had forgotten that she was talking to a stupid Gryffindor after all. _It explains a lot. This week or so has been odd. You didn't seem like you._

Kamelia barely remembered this past week. Did she write something peculiar? _**I'm sorry.**_

 _Did something happened? You were doing well._

 _ **I saw someone. I don't want to talk about it.**_ She didn't even tell Draco what had set her off. But he was "done" anyway. And he would have no idea what she was talking about anyway. _**I'm sorry if I wrote anything particularly vile.**_

Somehow, Kamelia knew that he wanted to push it. He seemed like the nosey type, and she wasn't sure why she even told him. The anonymity of writing to him felt like it was wearing off, like he was someone who mattered to her. Her secrets made her feel disgusting, embarrassed, and ashamed. She didn't want him to know, even though he was a stranger to her. Perhaps that was the problem. He wasn't a stranger anymore.

 _No. It's not that._ He was absolutely dying to ask, but he didn't. _You never told me what you wanted me to call you._

Since Tom had cut her off at the bar, she was in her room sipping wine as she was somewhere between miserable tipsy to full on drunk. She wished she was drunk enough not to absorb that he was trying to talk about the Trixie situation.

But what did she want him to call her? Her hand shook as she was just itching to write "Kamelia." What would it be like to know him? To meet him and see his face? She imagined he would be kind, that his hands would be rough, and he didn't care about pureblood things like fashion or parties.

Kamelia shook her head as if the act could clear her thoughts. Perhaps she was drunker than she believed herself to be. Such fantasies were a ridiculous waste of time. _ **Call me Blanche.**_

 _Alright… I really care about you, and I want to help you through this._

"Like the Savior himself," Kamelia mumbled as she started to drift off. He couldn't save someone who didn't want to be saved.

* * *

"You haven't taken your eyes off him all day." Harry was confused to say the least. For a while, he was convinced that Pansy wasn't "Trixie" or "Blanche" or whatever the hell she wanted to go by. Now that Blanche had admitted to drinking again, he wasn't so sure. This superficial, obnoxious thing Pansy had going on could just be a cover. It's easier than dealing with the internal torment she kept locked away.

Pansy blinked in surprise. She never seemed to put much thought into his feelings. "Oh. Sorry." She put her hand over his, but still glanced in Malfoy's direction.

"You can tell me anything, you know that right?" He was trying to force himself to believe it was her. But deep down—

Pansy finally pulled herself away from the back of Malfoy's head. She studied Harry for a while and then smirked. "I thought I had everything set out for me. Marry a rich pureblood, be sisters with my best friend… But the War changed him…"

"The War changed everyone," he said slowly, still trying to figure her out.

"I suppose it has." Pansy took a sip of her sherry, and Harry wanted to knock it out of her hands. There was an unspoken _But not me._ She snorted and turned back to the Malfoys. "Look at how Lucius looks at Astoria. Her blood isn't pure. Her great grandfather was a filthy halfblood."

"Like me?" Harry found himself saying a little too loudly. Pansy jumped, surprised at his words but not ashamed of her own.

"Don't cause a scene," she begged as she grabbed his arm. She begged because Malfoy was finally looking in her direction.

"You're a liar," Harry whispered as he started to leave. He was a little surprised that she followed him as he got out of Malfoy's line of vision.

"You don't know what it's like for us," she cried when they were outside the pub. "Everything is dependent on following the rules. Do you know what I am without a husband? Without a pureblood family? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

"So you just went along with it when I asked you?" Harry spat. "So you could make Malfoy jealous?"

"You don't know what it's like." Pansy still wouldn't admit it. "To have your entire identity surround someone, and it be ripped away from you."

Harry wasn't having it. "Fuck you."

* * *

Ginny laughed so hard she snorted when he met her at the Hog's Head an hour later. All he had to do was send her a Patronus, and she was there for him. "I can't believe you thought you were in love with Pansy Parkinson. Does Sirius know?"

"No," Harry muttered as he picked at the cheese fries that he and Ginny were splitting. "She never said it wasn't her."

Ginny almost choked on a cheese fry. "You can't seriously think that it might still be her. Because I can tell you right now, Pansy Parkinson is the most shallow, air-headed—"

"People aren't always who you think they are, Gin," Harry grumbled.

The pity in her eyes made Harry turn away. "If this girl is good enough for you to fall in love with her, she wouldn't treat you like Pansy does."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm not in love with her. I just… really care about her."

"Right…" Ginny motioned for another round of butterbeers, even though Harry barely took a sip of his. "Have you asked her through the journal?" She slapped his shoulder at his silence. "Wouldn't that be the easiest way to find out?"

"The easiest way to make her mad at me…"

"Excuses, excuses…" Before Harry could realize what she was doing, Ginny snatched his satchel and grabbed his journal. "Aw! She's asking about your dad! Wait until Sirius finds out!"

"Ginny!" The last time they goofed off in public, Harry was accused of being an abusive boyfriend by the papers, so he was a bit reluctant to lunge at her and snatch the journal out of her hands. "Don't!"

She conjured a quill. "I'm just going to ask her what she's doing today!"

"She'll know it's not me!" Harry yelled.

Ginny laughed triumphantly, like she was playing a game. "No! I can match your handwriting perfectly! I give out your autographs when I'm low on cash!"

"Ginny!"

Aberforth didn't even look up when Ginny climbed on the bar countertop to escape him. Harry's cheeks burned at the thought of going after her as she wrote… and wrote… and wrote… Finally, he gave up on what was going to be in _The Daily Prophet_ tomorrow and climbed up after her. "Give me that!"

Harry's chested tightened when she saw what Ginny wrote.

 _I've been wondering what you've been doing lately. I think about you all the time and wish I could see your face. You're someone I could tell anything to, and I want to meet you. The real you. I hope you feel the same way._

"Ginny! What the hell!" he yelled as he slammed the journal shut.

"What?" Ginny said innocently. "Someone had to get things moving… Everything that I wrote is true."

"But I don't talk like that!" Harry snapped, too embarrassed to realize they were still on the countertops.

"That's the problem," Ginny shot back. "I'm doing you a favor."

Harry broke out in a sweat when the journal glowed. He didn't want to read her response but knew that Ginny would if he didn't. She only wrote one sentence.

"Well you're right," he said grimly, trying to keep his voice even. "It's not Pansy."

Ginny snatched the journal out of his hands, and her face fell when she read it.

 _I'm getting married this summer._

* * *

It took Kamelia a grand total of two days to get banned from the Leaky Cauldron. When she read that paragraph from Harry, it felt like someone reached into her chest and squeezed her heart. If she told him the truth, who she was, he would find out about her impending marriage anyway.

The only expectation she ever had growing up was to marry a rich pureblood. It was so ingrained in her that she didn't know who she was without the idea. What would she be in life if she wasn't a pureblood wife? No parties to plan, no traditions to pass on, no friends, no family. She would her Aunt Andromeda, who had no one but a dead husband and a dead daughter. Or her cousin Sirius, who didn't even have a dead family to have memories of. She would have no one.

Kamelia knew that wasn't true, no matter how much her mother said it when she wailed that no one would marry her soiled daughter. Her _whore_ daughter, as Father corrected her. So when the Notts came along asking for a marriage contract, they jumped at the chance.

Never mind the face that she and Theo weren't even friends. Never mind the fact that they had previously barely held a conversation, if an occasional good morning could count as a conversation.

He wasn't a bad guy. Theo was kind, faithful, always by her side… But… they didn't talk, _really_ talk. She didn't know his birthday until Draco told her the date of the party. He didn't know how much she loved music and dance. She never asked about his mother. He never asked why she forced herself not to lean away when he kissed her. It was a lack of effort on both their parts.

But when she "met" Harry, someone who she didn't even know their real name, she felt like she was speaking to someone she had known her entire life. They offended each other at first, but she couldn't resist writing to him. When something funny happened, she couldn't wait to tell him. She worried about him, and he worried about her. He was the one person who could make her laugh no matter what, the one person who she wanted to know everything but also the one person she was afraid of scaring off at first. Who would want her when they found out how disgusting she was?

"Can I buy you a drink?" the Muggle asked. She didn't want to be seen in a wizarding pub, and since Muggles bred like cockroaches, pubs were a dime a dozen in their world. If she got kicked out of one, she could always find another.

"Yes," she whispered, knowing what he really wanted. After half a dozen drinks, all her hesitation, all her fears, and repulsions, completely disappeared.

* * *

But when she wakes up, Kamelia feels an impossible weight on her chest. She doesn't know where she is, who is sleeping beside her, but she knows what she did. She's disgusting, and it was only a matter of time before she did something like this. Sleeping with a Muggle she didn't even know.

Kamelia is gasping for air when she's finally able to sit up. Where are her clothes?

A hand grabbed her when she starts hastily shoving her clothes on. "Stay. I'll make breakfast."

He's kissing her, and unlike Theo, his grip on her arm tightens when she pulls away. Kamelia panics and doesn't even think to say stop. She never thinks to say stop.

Instead, she pulled out her wand and sent him flying into the wall. There's a startling silence when she realizes he's unconscious. When she realizes he's breathing, she puts her clothes on as fast as she can and flees.

* * *

"You alright, mate?" Ron asked, finally picking up on Harry's sulking after two days.

Harry shrugged and tossed his bag on one of the sofas in Gryffindor's Common Room. "I guess. I just had a rough weekend."

"Anything to do with Pansy telling everyone she dumped you?" Ron's trying not to look relieved. When Harry first started going out with Pansy, he decided to keep his thoughts to himself after a few slaps on the shoulder from Hermione.

"That sounds like Pansy." Then Harry forced himself to laugh, but it was so fake that even the emotionally dense Ron gave him an odd look. "I wanted to meet _her_."

"I can't say that I understand." Ron shrugs. "Hermione might. She's good friends with that nerd she writes too. But—"

"I love her." Now that it didn't matter, Harry could finally say it. "I love her, and she obviously doesn't feel the same way. She's with someone else."

Ron stared for a moment, not seeming to know what do with himself. He sat down and stood up and then sat down again. "When Hermione was with other guys—"

"You were a complete ass," Harry interrupted. "But you always had her friendship. After this school year…"

The magic in the journal would run out. They would never write to each other again. If she was getting married though… perhaps it was better that way.

"Want to go for a fly?"

Ron nodded, knowing that Harry needed to process this himself for a while. He just needed his best friend to be there for him as he tried to force himself to be okay with this.

He wasn't.

* * *

Kamelia found herself stumbling around Muggle London. She wished she hadn't told "Harry" that she was getting married, even though it was the truth. She didn't want him to know. She wanted to talk to him like she always did. They would trade inappropriate jokes back and forth, tell stories about their day.

She didn't want to get married.

Whenever she passed a bar she went in the opposite direction. For once, getting drunk didn't seem appealing, despite her pounding head and shaking hands. Eventually, she noticed that she walked by a rather boring looking building several times. There was a sign in front of it with familiar words.

 _Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting 5:00 pm_.

"Harry" had mentioned it. Kamelia scoffed at the idea of meeting with Muggles at the time, but she had just fucked one for alcohol, so she couldn't exactly look down on them now. She was just as low as those filthy cockroaches.

Her watch said she still had two hours, but Kamelia went in anyway before she lost her nerve. It was just one meeting. What harm could it do?

As the two hours passed, Kamelia saw all sorts of people shuffling in. They all glanced at her and quickly looked away, probably curious about the exhausted looking newcomer. She was used to being the one people looked at in envy, not pity.

They introduced themselves in an odd, rehearsed sort of way that made Kamelia blushed when all eyes fell on her. She wasn't going to say that she was just like these filthy Muggles.

"M-my name's Kamelia." But she was. She was probably even lower than Muggles. Because she could see from their kind, sickly sympathetic eyes that they weren't judging her like she was judging them. She had never said she was an alcoholic to anyone besides "Harry," and since they wrote, the words never actually left her mouth. "And I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Kamelia," they all said as one. She narrowed her eyes at the words and was tempted to roll her eyes at her own. Although she felt a tiny bit of pressure leave her body when she said it, it was so miniscule that she felt she would have been better off pigheadedly keeping her mouth shut.

They went around the room, each telling horrid stories of their awful lives and their day to day struggles with sobriety. Kamelia listened with her best Malfoy callousness, refusing to believe that her life would end up like this too, until she realized that they were going to give her time to speak too.

All the tired but kind eyes fell on her soon enough, and Kamelia felt herself becoming defensive. She wasn't like _these_ people. "I just drink a lot. I don't know…"

"There isn't a reason?" an older woman, the unspoken leader of the group, prompted.

"No," she said stubbornly.

No one in the room believed her. "You won't be able to stop unless you confront what has such a hold on you," the woman went on knowingly. "Perhaps you'll stop drinking, but you'll find something else to take over your life. You'll start excessively eating or exercising or doing drugs. I've heard the younger people have turned to video games."

 _What the fuck is a video game?_ Kamelia wrinkled her nose and looked down on her. Stupid Muggle. They weren't even worth talking to, so Kamelia left without saying a word and with her head held high. She wouldn't admit that she never felt lower.

* * *

So she found a hotel and drank her way through her suspension. Eventually, Harry wrote to her, probably only because of that cow McGonagall's once a week communication rule. _Would you still be getting married if I was a pureblood?_

His words made bile rise in her throat. They never discussed feelings for each other. Kamelia saw no point. Even his sweet little paragraph didn't mention romantic feelings, although she knew. That was way she threw her walls up almost immediately. She wasn't going to admit to anything.

Her hands shook more than usual as her quill danced over the page. She wanted to write something along the lines of yes because her father signed a contract. All contracts had loopholes, however. It was an excuse. A weak excuse because her answer was no, but she couldn't bring herself to admit it and yet she couldn't bring herself to say yes, that she loved her fiancé. She was disgusting and a liar, but that lie was too much for her to make.

 _ **I don't know.**_

He didn't answer back.

* * *

On the day she was able to return to Hogwarts, Kamelia stopped by the Manor. It was as silent as ever, especially with Draco and his friends or Pansy to chatter on and on about the latest gossip. Mother found her almost immediately, as if she sensed her.

"There is a rumor at Hogwarts," she said cautiously, "that you left school for two weeks to go shopping in France."

"I was looking at wedding dresses," she lied smoothly as she felt Mother scrutinizing her appearance. Kamelia felt like no amount of makeup or charms could cover up how she felt. For once, drinking made her feel sick, not better.

Whatever Mother thought, she decided to keep to herself as she led Kamelia into the dining room. "Your father has been wanting to see you, since you skipped our last family outing."

"I was busy," Kamelia said airily, almost feeling like things were getting back to normal between the two of them. Were they?

Mother sniffed. "I don't blame you. Draco brought that _girl_."

So that's what this was about. Astoria Greengrass's blood was slightly less than pure, causing her brother to fall from grace. Suddenly Kamelia wasn't the family black sheep because she was doing the right thing and marrying a pureblood.

They of course didn't know that she had come over to ask Father to break the contract. Kamelia could barely sleep from the fear of it. Father would say no. They would argue, and she would eventually go back to school. She would quietly move her money to a private account before he realized and kicked her out.

The speech had been rehearsed all night. The words were on the tip of her tongue. But then Father smiled at her, actually smiled at her for the first time in almost a year.

"How are you, Kami?" he asked as if nothing has happened, as if he hadn't called her disgusting or a whore. Because she was doing the right thing, which was sticking by her family and marrying a pureblood.

"I'm well," she lied. Speaking to him without tears, heartbreak, or fear seemed so foreign to her, even though she was the apple of his eye less than a year ago. Kamelia sat down as they ate and spoke like nothing had happened, like they were always happy. She didn't realize how much she desperately missed her father.

"Can you believe that bumbling fool?" Father laughed towards the end of the meal. They were discussing Arthur Weasley who wanted the Ministry to build a Muggle hotel in Hogsmeade for Muggle parents to visit their mudblood children while they were at school.

"Hogsmeade is one of the few places where I can walk the streets without fear of running into _them_ ," Mother said stiffly.

 _I fucked a Muggle last week._ Kamelia did her best to push down her hateful words. They would only enforce the truth, that she was disgusting. "How would they even get here without apparating? It's a waste of money."

"I bet Draco's children will associate with mudbloods," Father said hatefully.

"Lucius," Mother hissed. "He's only eighteen. It is probably just a fling."

Father curled his upper lip. "They aren't living here if they marry."

Kamelia bit her lip. As Nott's wife, she would have her family back. "I should be going. I have class to attend."

"I wanted to add something to your marriage contract," Father said as she rose to leave. Kamelia felt herself start to break out in a sweat at the mention of it. "So do not be surprised if you hear of it. Given Draco's… proclivities… I would like your second son to be a Malfoy, if you are able to have one."

He wasn't asking her. He was telling her. Anger, terror, and sorrow welled up within her as she silently screamed that she didn't want to marry Nott. She stared at him, mentally screaming that she hoped her burned in hell, that she wasn't getting married, and that she was in love with someone else. Instead, she smiled and said, "Yes, Father."

Kamelia was absolutely livid when she returned to school. She was more angry at herself than anything. How was he supposed to know if she never told him?

He wouldn't care, Kamelia thought. Mother would but would also pretend that she didn't. _One had to make sacrifices for family_ , she always said. Were her parents in love? Kamelia often asked herself that question, but the answer was that it didn't matter. They did what was expected of them, just like she had to do.

She had to go through with this. For her family. She would be happy one day because she had her family.

* * *

"Move mudblood," she spat. For whatever reason, Granger was sitting next to Draco, talking rather adamantly to him in History of Magic.

The entire classroom went silent, except for Professor Binns, who didn't even turn way from the chalk board and kept droning to his class. Draco's mouth hung open, but Granger didn't seem too fazed. With her head held high, she moved to the other side of the room and began taking notes. She was too dignified to give Kamelia's hateful words a response.

"I can't believe you didn't hex her!" Ron yelled in the Common Room that evening as the entire school was talking about how Kamelia Malfoy called Hermione a mudblood. Harry agreed with Ron, obviously, and was frankly surprised that she didn't. Hermione wasn't one without a temper.

All Hermione would say was, "Kamelia Malfoy is someone who clearly is in a lot of pain."

Harry snorted. "She doesn't know the meaning of the word pain."

Hermione tried to turn back to her textbook, but she could feel both of their irritation starting to grow. With a sigh, she snapped her book shut. "The person whose journal is magically matched to mine is Draco Malfoy."

"WHAT?" Ron yelled, but Harry was only slightly surprised. He didn't know anyone else who was as bookish and opinionated as Hermione, and she seemed to get along rather well with the person she was writing to.

Hermione nodded. "He's become a dear friend, so when we revealed our names to each other, I eventually asked about her."

"Oh and he told you that he's in love with her?" Ron shrunk under Hermione's glare.

"He said," Hermione said through clenched teeth. After taking a moment to calm down, she summoned her journal. It seemed almost as worn from use as Harry's was. " _You will never find anyone as trusting or innocent as my sister. Growing up, she always wanted to be just like me. She always wanted to please and make everyone like her. Over the years, I fear that someone has taken advantage of that. She won't tell me anything, despite the fact that I consider her my best friend."_

"Bullshit," Ron muttered.

Harry nodded in agreement. "She's a spoiled brat, 'Mione. She spent the entire war in the Manor being pampered by house elves. And her brother's spoiled too. Draco may be starting to grow up, but she clearly hasn't."

Ron brought his fist into his palm. "So you should have handed her her ass!"

Hermione stared at them for a moment before grabbing her books and heading to her dormitory. "You both are idiots."

* * *

"I left school grounds this time!" Kamelia laughed or tried to, but her drunken tears only allowed her to wheeze slightly. She wasn't crying though. Her allergies were simply terrible and making her eyes water.

Professor McGonagall sighed but otherwise showed no emotion. "What do you want, Ms. Malfoy?"

"I…" She paused to cry, for just a moment. "… was wondering if you could extend the magic with these." She waved her journal. "That they won't expire at the end of the school year."

Now McGonagall was interested. "Oh? I am afraid—"

"I just-I just need him," she gasped. "And after the school year—"

"You could always reveal yourselves to each other," McGonagall said slowly as she studied her as if she was a specimen in a zoo. "And continue to write through owl post."

"I'm getting married this summer." For some reason, those words made her burst into tears.

"What does that have to do with anything?" McGonagall snapped, but she softened when Kamelia's crying became even more pathetic. "Ms. Malfoy, I'm sure your future husband would not mind if you have friends."

Perhaps it was because she was drunk, but Kamelia started talking to McGonagall in a way she wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her own mother. "I am going to spend the rest of my life in a loveless marriage. My husband can't know that…"

McGonagall may have a heart, but she was too tough to coddle her. "The magic ends on the last day of school, Ms. Malfoy. If this fact affects you so, perhaps you need to make some changes."

"I have to have him in my life," Kamelia begged.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "Then there's your answer, Ms. Malfoy."

But Kamelia couldn't accept that. She just got her family back.

* * *

"What the fuck was that?" Draco demanded as soon as Kamelia made her way back to the Common Room. He had been angrily pacing all night waiting for her, and eventually, the other Slytherins had fled.

Kamelia blinked. Of course she was drunk. She was always fucking drunk. "What?"

"You called Hermione a mudblood in front of the whole class!" he yelled. "What is wrong with you? We're trying to rebuild our lives after the War, and you start yelling slurs for no reason!"

"Slurs! HA!" Kamelia through her coat onto the leather sofa. "That was your favorite word when we were—"

"KIDS!" Draco finished. "When we were kids! When the hell are you going to grow up?"

Kamelia snorted and threw herself on the sofa. "When am I? When are _you?_ I spoke to Mother and Father today."

Draco felt himself stiffen. He knew she was talking about Astoria and so much as thinking about what his parents said about her made his blood absolutely boil. He ground out, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means—"

"And if you say one bad word about Astoria," he said quietly, "I'm never speaking to you again. She is the _best_ thing in my life."

Kamelia blinked again, as if somehow his words resonated in her constantly drunken brain. For some reason, what he said made her so angry that she jumped out of her seat and almost managed to stand steadily. "I love our family more than anything—"

So that's what it was. She was jealous that he had the courage to refuse a marriage contract. Draco wasn't going to put up with her taking out her own self-loathing on him. "And they've turned their backs on you! The only reason they're giving you the time of day is because I don't care that the Greengrasses isn't one of the Sacred Twenty Eight! If not they would still be ignoring you—"

"WHICH IS YOUR FAULT!" she screamed in face. Then, she shoved passed him and started walking away. She was always walking away, or walking towards alcohol.

"What are you talking about?" Draco pressed as he followed her. "KAMELIA!"

"You want to know so bad?" Kamelia stopped her dresser and ripped the drawer open, handing him a small vial. "HERE!"

She shoved him out of the room and slammed the door in his face. Draco looked at the vial to see that she had given him a series of memories, his own memories, he would momentarily discover, which she had taken from him.

 _He knew it was Potter down in the dungeons, but he refused to confirm it, claiming he wasn't sure and wanted to wait for the swelling on the man's face to go down. Draco didn't know why he was so hesitant. He hated Potter and always would. The Dark Lord would kill him, and the War would finally be over._

 _It was the middle of the night, and Draco was still hesitating. He needed someone to talk to. He needed his sister._

 _Over the past two years, Kamelia seemed to turn inward. They were only a year apart, but Draco always saw her as a child. He always felt like he had to take care of her. For once, he needed her to help him._

 _"Kami, I…" He didn't knock, figuring she was sleeping, but she wasn't._

 _Uncle Rodolphus was on top of her. They were having sex._

 **Thank you for the reviews Guest, myafroatemydog, h4lfbl00dprinc3, gr8rockstarrox, Nimbi345, Carly Carnations, and Ad!**

 **Ad: You were right the first time! If you notice, she started drinking again when he showed up in the paper because it was the first time she saw his face since the war ended.**


	5. I'm not a Victim

Chapter 5 I'm a not Victim

 _As soon as they heard him, Uncle Rodolphus jumped off of her and slammed the door in his face with his wand. Draco just stood there, stunned, until Kamelia opened the door with white sheets wrapped around her like a dress._

 _"Draco," she said breathlessly. She grabbed his arm when he pulled out his wand and started heading to her room. "Stop!" she whispered. "He loves me!"_

 _"He loves you?" Draco felt himself become rigid at her words as he turned around to face her. "He's fifty! You aren't even of age!"_

 _Kamelia squeezed his arm desperately, begging him not to hurt their uncle. "Please! Bellatrix is sleeping with the Dark Lord! He needed me—"_

 _"He needed you?" Draco hissed. "He's raping—"_

 _"He is not!" Kamelia yell whispered. "We're going to get married!"_

 _"He's married to our aunt!" Draco's voice started rising. "I'm telling Mum and Dad!"_

 _"You can't! Draco!" Kamelia started doing her best to run after him in only a sheet. "Please!"_

 _But Draco didn't care. "I'm not letting him hurt you anymore!"_

There were other memories entangled in this one, but Draco couldn't bare it anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut and put his face in his hands. He was right to tell his parents, wasn't he?

* * *

The reality of what she had done did not hit Kamelia until she woke up. She would not have done that if she was sober. She had planned to keep that from her brother for the rest of their lives. With a groan, she sat up and looked at the clock. It was nearly noon on a Tuesday. Her GPA was in the toilet anyway. The rest of the day should be spent figuring out how to hide from Draco for the rest of the school year.

Instead, Kamelia took an agonizingly slow shower, trying not to obsessively scrub her skin. It would just leave her looking pink and miserable instead of just plain miserable.

Then, she spent a few hours lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. When Pansy stopped by at dinner, she told her that she had the flu so her friend would stay away. She probably looked like she had the flu too. She sure felt like it.

 **I really miss you,** Kamelia found herself writing to "Harry." She didn't expect him to answer, but an hour later he did.

 _I've missed you too. I'd rather have your friendship than nothing._

"I don't _want_ to get married," she whispered, but she wrote, **I need you.**

 _Are you okay?_

She'd tell him later. One person finding out today was more than enough. **What did I say that confused you the other week?**

He paused, and Kamelia thought to herself that he was yet again dying to ask her what was wrong. _I thought I found you. You know, in person, but she wasn't you. And then you started drinking again so I hoped that was the reason this person was nothing like you. I just desperately want to meet you._

And she wasn't even in the castle. If she hadn't been suspended, she would know who he was. Kamelia frowned. This situation sounded familiar, but she gave herself such bad alcohol poisoning at the time, that she barely remembered the week she returned from Christmas hols. She felt like she knew someone who was being tricked…

Kamelia shook her head. If she found out who he was, it would only make things more painful. **I'm sorry. I've been so out of it lately.**

 _But your sober now?_

 **For like eighteen hours.** And she was starting to feel it too. But leaving her room would most likely mean facing her brother. Pansy had to have a little wine somewhere. **And I have no idea where my roommate keeps her stash.**

 _You don't want to try again?_

What was the point? Kamelia rubbed her tired eyes. The point was that no amount of drinking was going to undo what she did last night. **I don't know. How's life treating you, Harry?**

 _Pretty okay. You?_

Kamelia laughed and padded to the bathroom to get herself a glass of water. **Just fucking up life as usual.**

 _Can I ask you something?_

She took a sip of her water as her heartbeat accelerated. She was almost dreading his question. **Yes?**

 _You love this guy, right? Not My Hand?_

Kamelia snorted at the word love but then felt cruel. Theo was nice enough. As time passed, she could grow to love him in a familial sort of way. If they were speaking face to face, she would have lied through her teeth. But… **Our families made a contract, and I have to follow through with it.**

 _Or what?_

Kamelia grimaced, remembering the day Nott Sr. wrote to Father.

 _"This could make everything right!" she heard Mother whisper urgently. She herself was sitting at the foot of the stairs, not even allowed to be part of the conversation._

 _There was a sound of papers smacking against the coffee table. "And if he asks for a healer's proof of her virginity?"_

 _"Mrs. Bulstrode said families don't do that anymore," Mother whispered._

 _Father laughed bitterly. "As if anyone would need proof with Millicent!"_

 _"Lucius!" Mother's voice started to rise. "You can't expect her to never marry! What will she do without a family of her own? She'll end up like one of those dreadful Hogwarts professors!"_

 _Dreadful because they weren't married with children. And Kamelia didn't_ _ **want**_ _to get married. Rodolphus was in jail and most likely never coming out._

 _"I am not risking what she has done getting out!" Father hissed. "Our reputations are tarnished enough because of Potter!"_

 _"Tell Nott she was raped," Mother snapped. "And only if he brings it up. He is looking to elevate his status. He won't ask questions as long as Kamelia gives him a grandson, and she comes with a dowry worthy of her name."_

 _"If this gets out, her surname will be Black," Father spat._

 _There was a deadly silence. Mother's anger at Father was rare, but when it appeared, Kamelia and Draco usually hid in an under used wing of the Manor. "Accept Notts terms or I'm telling Shacklebolt everything. That man deserves the Kiss."_

 _"Kamelia was old enough to know—"_

 _"Do you have any idea when it started? Because I don't," Mother said grimly. "Accept Nott's terms."_

 _"…If this doesn't work, she's disowned."_

Her parents would shrivel up and die if she refused to marry Theo. She could already hear her mother if she were to express doubts. She'd lecture her something like, _You'll feel better when there are children._

 **I'd be shunned,** she wrote **. Kicked out of the family. All my friends would abandon me. I'd have nothing.**

 _You'd have_ "Harry" scribbled out the words so many times that Kamelia wouldn't have recognized them if she wasn't looking when he had written them. You'd have me. She'd heard that before. The first time she had sex with **him** and was reluctant.

They had spent the whole night dancing, and he had crept into her bed. She had been so worried about getting in trouble, facing Mother's horror and Aunt Bellatrix's wrath. She had been fifteen.

 _You'd have me, he whispered._ She had been crying out of fear of getting caught, the discomfort of a man in her bed, and fear of what was going to happen next.

Kamelia clawed at her hair but didn't pull. She snapped her eyes shut and tossed the journal onto her bed. When she opened her eyes, they fell on the day's newspaper. Pansy skimmed through it when she was particularly bored, but today, it remained untouched.

Rodolphus was on the front page. Tomorrow he was to receive the Kiss.

* * *

Kingsley would like to think he had seen it all, or at least he had hoped. More than half of his life had been spent being an auror, an Order member, and now the Minister of Magic. A victim defending her assailant while rare was not necessarily unheard of. However, Kingsley had never seen someone as lost and confused as Kamelia Malfoy. Narcissa had made it seem like her daughter understood that she was Rodolphus's victim. Apparently not.

"You can't do this," she pleaded. She was only allowed to see him because Kingsley was curious. He was beginning to regret it. "He has some good in him—"

"Because he loves you?" Kingsley asked gravely. Her expression was guarded, but she reluctantly nodded. Anything to save _**him.**_ "His memories say otherwise. A man preying upon an innocent fourteen year old girl—"

"He was lonely," Kamelia pressed.

"He is sick," Kingsley said firmly. "He saw a weakness in you—"

"He needed someone to be there for him! Bellatrix—"

"If he loved you…" Kingsley paused. He shouldn't say anything, but the thought of letting the girl have this delusion made him ill. "Then why would he assault Muggle girls around your age?"

And like that, her faced changed into that familiar Malfoy wall of cold blankness. "That's not true. You just think we're all monsters."

"No, Ms. Malfoy. I think _he_ is a monster." And Kingsley couldn't believe she was trying to save his soul. Lestrange ruined her life, and she was begging for his. "That is why he is the last Death Eater to receive the Kiss. He was not simply following orders and lost in old pureblood ideals. He enjoyed causing pain, killing, and taking advantage of children like you."

"I am not a child. I need to see him." Her eyes were filling with tears, but her voice and expression remained cold and steady. "He should have his last moments with—"

"His last moments will be alone." Kingsley will go out of his way to make sure of it now. "Ms. Malfoy, you didn't know any better."

At his words, Kamelia's eyes widened, and she got up and left.

 _You didn't know any better._ Everyone assumed that about her. But she did know. She knew that she was destroying her family and her life. She knew better. She did. And now she worse than killed Rodolphus.

 _"She didn't know any better!" Draco had yelled when Father raised his wand to her. It was the morning after Draco found out, and Father raged well into sunrise._

 _Kamelia squeezed her eyes shut when Draco threw himself in front of her. Father roughly shoved him away. "How could you do this? My own daughter committing incest! Stop crying, Kamelia! I am_ _ **ruined!**_ _"_

 _"When Aunt Bellatrix gives the Dark Lord an heir, she'll marry him and—"_

 _"You're banking on a woman closer to fifty than not getting pregnant?" Father roared. "And you think I would approve of such a union?"_

 _"We're not blood related!" Kamelia tried. She was parroting back the words that Rodolphus had told her, and Father thought they were her own, making him angrier._

 _"So you thought it was reasonable to whore yourself to him?" Father spat._

 _"He loves me!" she insisted._

 _Father sneered at her. "There's no such thing as romantic love, Kamelia. What you felt is_ _ **lust**_ _. You threw your entire life away for endorphins!"_

 _"You were supposed to help her!" Draco yelled as Mother walked into the parlor. She had no idea and was staring at her family with a mixture of confusion and horror._

 _No matter what, she was her mother. Kamelia ran for her, crying hysterically and wanting nothing more than for her to make everything better, like a mother was supposed to. "Mummy!"_

 _"Stay away from her," Father snarled. "You knew exactly what you were doing Kamelia! Don't play the victim because you got caught!"_

Kamelia forced herself to walk to the Ministry floo. She didn't know what she thought would happen during her last ditch effort to save Rodolphus, but she hadn't expected Shacklebolt to know. If she could at least see him…

She stopped at a pub in Hogsmeade and ordered herself a glass of wine. For a long time, she stared at it but wouldn't take a sip.

"I thought I'd find you here." Draco sat next to her at the bar but looked straight ahead. "After I searched the entire castle. Well, almost the entire castle. Weasley clocked me for asking to get into Gryffindor Tower."

"I was… at the Ministry," Kamelia said slowly. "But Shacklebolt wouldn't let me see him."

She said that to goad him, to make him yell and scream and yet again give up on her. But her brother barely moved at her words. Instead, he sat and chose his words carefully, ever the Malfoy. "I suppose I couldn't possibly understand."

"I really thought he was going to marry me." And now, Kamelia knew Shacklebolt's words were true. She wasn't sure she could admit it, but she knew the truth, even if she kept it to herself. "I've missed you, and Mummy and Daddy."

"I've missed you too." He grimaced and took her undrunk wine glass. "From what I'm starting to remember, Mother and Father—"

"Don't." When he saw her staring at the glass, he banished the wine. Kamelia glared at him. "It's my choice."

"Is that what you want?" Some of the color returned to his face. "Or is this your way of avoiding what happened?"

"I know what happened," she grumbled.

"But you're not willing to admit it." Draco turned to face her. "A man, our uncle, violated you, controlled you, rap—"

"STOP!" she yelled, capturing the attention of half of Three Broomsticks. "That is _not_ what happened."

"That's exactly what happened," he hissed so quietly that only she could hear. "He _raped_ you, Kamelia. You gave me the memories! Every ball, he would sneak us, _you,_ alcohol. He only gave it to me so I wouldn't be suspicious. I was tipsy, and you could barely stand! You were always sneaking out! He filled your head with lies, and you still believe him! You can't go a day without drinking because of _him._ "

His words were true, making Kamelia want to escape. She couldn't believe it. For almost three years, she thought he loved her, she clung to it because it made everything that happened seem less sinister, less tragic. She wasn't a victim. She was simply someone who got caught up in the moment. She **wasn't** a victim. She wasn't.

"Kami," Draco said quietly as she rose to leave. She couldn't deal with this right now.

* * *

"Is Ginny right?" Sirius demanded over dinner. It was the middle of the week, and for some reason, Harry thought having dinner with his godfather was going to be more peaceful than having dinner with Hermione, who always started to panic about Friday's tests by Wednesday.

"Usually," Harry said dryly as he started cutting up his chicken.

"She says you're in love with that girl, and you're going to break up her wedding." Sirius raised his eyebrows, waiting. Remus glared at him, but also seemed to be waiting. Best change the subject.

"Did you know Rodolphus Lestrange got the Kiss today?" he asked lightly. Neither one of them bought it.

"Fucking pedophile," Sirius muttered. "But I'm not wasting anymore breath on him. Just answer the question, Harry."

He didn't know Lestrange was a pedophile… He supposed his sentence was well deserved then. But Harry rolled his eyes at Sirius's last two sentences. "I'm not breaking up any weddings."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, surprising Harry and Remus. "What?"

"You still call her the Death Eater as of yesterday," Harry said slowly.

"And the Scarlet Woman when Harry's not in the room." Remus grinned when Sirius threw a dinner roll at him.

Never one to admit when he was wrong, Sirius frowned. "Well…"

"Well?" Harry repeated when it became clear that Sirius was about to drop the subject.

With a sigh, his godfather started picking at his food. "From what Ginny told me, she reminds me of Andy. She almost married someone else once. Literally ran out of the church. Her father was trying to marry her off because he knew that she was "unruly" as he put it. He married Bellatrix off at sixteen. Narcissa was the only one he trusted to wait until she was at the ripe old age of twenty."

"She doesn't really mention her father," Harry mumbled. "She made it sound like he's dead, but I'm not sure."

"Probably wishes he was," Sirius muttered. "Listen, Harry—"

"She doesn't want me to," Harry said bitterly. "Just drop it, Padfoot."

Sirius softened at the nickname but didn't hesitate to say, "You've been miserable lately, and Ginny told me why. I grew up in that world, and it isn't easy to leave it, especially if you think you have no one. Andy had her husband, I had your dad, and… she has you."

"I'm not enough." Harry felt his cheeks flush at the admittance, but it was true. He couldn't expect someone he never met to throw away their entire life for him.

Sirius blinked in surprise at his words. "Yes you are."

No. He wasn't. "Blanche" made that perfectly clear. Harry picked up his plate. "I'm eating upstairs."

* * *

 _ **Harry!**_

Of course she had to write to him that night. And of course she was drunk. Harry almost immediately regretted writing, _What?_

 _ **What's the matter?**_

 _Nothing. Sorry._

 _ **Hmmm… Well, I think you should know that I love you. More than Not My Hand and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than**_ _**Rodolphus!**_

Harry stared at her words for a long time. Rodolphus? Rodolphus Lestrange? _Blanche?_

 _ **Who's that?**_

 _You…_

 _ **Oh right. That's me. My name. My fake name. Did you know my dad says that romantic love isn't real? Maybe he's right. Maybe, maybe, maybe**_

 _Are you alright?_ Harry tried not to remember how Sirius described Rodolphus Lestrange. He hoped Sirius was wrong, but how could he be? He grew up with the man…

 _ **No. He got the Kiss today. Did you know?**_

 _Yes. And you're scaring me._

 _ **Looks like I have to go!**_

 _Blanche?_

Nothing.

* * *

Kamelia couldn't stop laughing, and she couldn't stop crying. She was stumbling about her room, writing to "Harry" and laughing to herself when Draco walked in, looking like he had an entire broom up his ass as always.

"Brother!" She scribbled to Harry, _**Looks like I have to go!**_ Then, she tossed her journal onto her bed and held out her arms for him. "What a pleasant surprise! What brings you here on this gloriously tragic day?"

Draco swallowed heavily. "Pansy got me. C'mon. I'll take you to Pomfrey."

"Why?" As soon as she said it, she leaned forward and vomited all over the floor, but Kamelia barely noticed.

"You just, uh, don't look so good, Kami," he said fearfully. "So… Let's go…"

He gently grabbed her arms to lead her out of the room, causing Kamelia's mood to do a 180. "Don't touch me!" she screamed and tried to fight out of his grasp. "I get to decide who touches me! Don't fucking touch me!"

Draco pulled away quickly, as if burned. "You're very sick, Kami. We need—"

"I'm not sick!" she yelled. "There's nothing wrong with me! I'm not some pathetic little victim—"

"You're the one who keeps saying that Kamelia!" he shouted. "There is nothing pathetic about you. You did nothing wrong. I know you're upset, but he deserved the Kiss."

He did not. He did not deserve the Kiss! He loved her and… Kamelia snapped. "I FUCKING HATE YOU!"

The last thing she remembered was attacking her brother. The one person who was always there for her.

* * *

 _The winter ball of 1996. Narcissa thought about that night a lot. Bellatrix organized it, and even though Lucius was in jail, she forced herself to get out of bed and pretend to be happy. Her sister had said the Dark Lord was going to be there. Perhaps their master had plans of helping Lucius escape._

 _"Looks like little Kami has a crush." Bellatrix cackled as her husband asked Kamelia to dance. Narcissa remembered her daughter turning pink as she nodded wordlessly and was swept onto the dance floor._

 _Narcissa frowned as she watched the two of them. Something didn't feel right, but she ignored it, thinking herself foolish. Kamelia was barely fifteen. Maybe she did fancy her uncle. She wouldn't take her eyes off him, but Rodolphus certainly knew better. They would laugh at this years later, when Kami was married with a family of her own._

 _Only they wouldn't. Bellatrix laughed again when Rodolphus kissed Kami's forehead, and she turned bright red. Again, Narcissa had a bad feeling that she forced herself to push down. "Look at 'im, humoring his poor wittle niece!"_

 _"Bella," Narcissa started. But then the Dark Lord made his appearance, and her sister went to try to have sex with him before anyone else noticed he had arrived. Narcissa was left alone with her uneasy feelings, and she stupidly ignored them, choosing to trust Rodolphus and Bella over her own instincts._

And now she was sitting in a room in St. Mungo's crisis ward. Pansy had told her. And only because Kamelia had bruised Draco's rib. _This is the third time she's drunken herself nearly dead, Mrs. Malfoy. How's Draco? Is he alright? Did he ask for me?_

"She's not going to want you here," Draco said flatly from his seat. His knee was bouncing up and down with nerves.

"And you would know from experience?" she asked her son coldly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why didn't you tell me she took memories from me?" Draco snapped. He tensed at her startled expression. "You didn't know?" Although he didn't seem surprised, he sneered at her and turned away. "I guess you just figured I was as heartless as you and Father."

Narcissa wanted to snap at him, almost desperately so, but in a way, from what he understood, he was right. He was just a boy. "Go get some rest, Dragon. I'll send for you as soon as she wakes."

"Don't call me that," he grumbled, still not looking at her. The poor boy was physically and mentally exhausted. He was trying to secretly deal with a problem that was too big for him to handle alone. "You should leave."

"I'm not," Narcissa said firmly. "I need to speak to her, Draco."

Since he knew that she would whether he was in the room or not, her son started to panic. "She's sick."

"And she will remain that way until she gets the help that she needs." Narcissa lowered her voice to a whisper when her daughter stirred in her sleep. "Please let me speak to her, Draco."

But Draco wouldn't budge. "I hate you. Both of you."

He was referring to Lucius, who had refused to come. Draco assumed it was out of hatred and disgust, but Narcissa knew better. Her husband was terrified. He didn't want to see his daughter, lying lifeless in a hospital bed. Especially after everything he had said and done. He had absolutely destroyed Kamelia with his anger, and now he knew it.

"You can go." Kamelia could barely open her eyes, and Narcissa wondered how long she had been listening. Did she remember what she did to Draco? Maybe because she was doing her best to turn away from him.

Draco clenched his fists. "I'm not leaving you."

Kamelia rubbed her eyes as the potions started giving her more energy. "I want to talk to her."

"She's not worth it."

"Please."

Draco teared up a bit at what he saw as a rejection. Then, of course, he didn't want anyone to see. He slammed the door behind him when he left.

They sat in silence until Narcissa couldn't take it anymore. "Why didn't you tell me, my flower?"

"Tell you what?" Kamelia said slowly.

"Everything." But she should have known. A mother should know.

Kamelia shifted uncomfortably. "I thought I'd get in trouble."

And she did. She got in trouble when she did nothing wrong. And Narcissa just stood by and let it happen. "I…"

Narcissa burst into tears while Kamelia watched her with a mixture of fascination and confusion, perhaps a bit of hope too. She probably thought her own mother didn't love her. "I'm so sorry I hurt you, Kamelia. I'm so sorry that that man—"

"I don't want to talk about him," Kamelia said softly. "Did Mr. Nott find out? Is that why Daddy isn't here?"

"No, honey. No. Your father…" Narcissa looked at her hands, which she was fiddling nervously with in her lap. "When I made your father set up the contract for you… I thought-I thought that it would set things right. The Notts are pureblood, wealthy, and most importantly, kind… You'd have a safe, comfortable life. Now, I fear I made the wrong decision. I'm scared for you, Kamelia."

"Where's Dad?" Kamelia asked worriedly. Lucius had recently shown her a bit of attention not too long ago, and she thought she had her father back. Narcissa didn't want her to doubt it.

"He's making arrangements for you," Narcissa lied. She would think that the therapist she had set up was handpicked by Lucius. Knowing her husband, Narcissa was sure that Lucius would act like nothing had happened, something that wouldn't surprise Kami. The lie would let her know that Lucius loved her. "Only the best for you, my love."

She looked nervous but also relieved that Lucius wasn't angry with her again. "I don't _need_ arrangements."

"Yes you do," Narcissa whispered. "No one will know. You'll see a therapist once a week."

"I don't _need_ to," Kamelia repeated.

"Your father wants you to." Narcissa felt her throat clench at the manipulation but felt that it had to be done. She couldn't let her daughter go on like this.

"But…" Kamelia squirmed, and Narcissa knew that it worked. "Okay…"

She stayed until her daughter was released. She never wanted to leave her side again.

* * *

 **Hey,** Blanche wrote a week later. Harry barely slept over that week. He constantly scanned the Slytherin table to make sure everyone was alright. And they were. The only one who wasn't there was Kamelia Malfoy. She was absent for three days but returned bragging that she had skipped school to find the perfect wedding dress. Harry recalled rolling his eyes. She had given him an odd look when their eyes met, but she couldn't be bothered with a peasant like him for more than a few seconds.

 _Are you okay?_ Harry wrote so quickly that his handwriting turned rather sloppy. Then, he found himself babbling. _I was rather worried. I tried to figure out who you were, but did you know that most of the seventh year Slytherin girls are engaged?_

 **HA! We've got to replenish the pureblood population that your side slaughtered.** She drew a grotesque stick figure that had a magical image of a baby popping out of it repeatedly. **That's going to be me for all eternity.**

Harry almost smiled. _Perhaps I'll use this self-portrait to find you._

 **You'll be sorely disappointed. I made myself look more beautiful.** The picture looked like something out of a horror comic. **… I'm sorry I worried you. I was embarrassed about what I confessed to you.**

Harry thinned his lips. He wanted to say there was no reason to be embarrassed, but no one knew much about his childhood except that he didn't like the Dursleys. When Mr. Weasley and his family picked him up that one summer, he had been so humiliated that he still turned red whenever George brought up the candy he gave Dudley. And the summer before second year…

 _I understand._ Harry frowned at his own words. _I mean, I don't know a fraction of what you feel, but… Before I lived with my dad, I lived with people that…_ He couldn't bring himself to write beat or starved or locked him in a closet. Because he was too ashamed. _There's nothing you could have done._

 **I could have said no.**

 _I could have hexed my foster parents when they didn't let me eat._ Harry's face burned at the admittance. Ron knew from just looking at him at the ends of summers, but he never said anything. They were kids, and Ron didn't want to hurt his best friend any more than he was already hurting. _I could have told my friends, my teachers. There's so many things that I could have done, but I didn't._

 **I think that every day.** "Blanche" paused and quickly changed the subject. **I meant what I said though.**

 _What?_

 **That I love you.**

* * *

 **Thank you for reviewing myafroatemydog, badkitty98, gr8rockstarrox, and firstofhername!**

 **Think Sirius would ever like Kami? XD**


	6. I'm a coward

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 6 I'm a coward

With Fred gone, Harry was sometimes hesitant to go to the Weasleys for Sunday dinner. A piece was missing, and Harry often blamed himself. If he had turned himself into Voldemort sooner… If he had been there to try to save him… If he could have found a way to avoid the Final Battle altogether.

The Weasleys didn't blame him, of course, not even George. The remaining twin was often either incredibly solemn or trying to act like his old self. For Fred. Fred wouldn't have wanted him to never smile or laugh again, Mrs. Weasley often said.

"So Harry, I hear you have a girlfriend." George clapped him on the back rather hard, knowing that he was absolutely humiliating him. At least he was happy tonight… "So where is she?"

Harry glared at Ginny, who was snickering and digging into her dinner. "I'm not sure."

"She couldn't come?" George asked. "Or are you afraid to bring her around Mum?"

"George!"

"She's not my girlfriend," Harry muttered. They didn't exactly talk about it. How they felt was acknowledged, and they wrote constantly, day and night, but… "It's not like that."

George laughed. "Definitely afraid to bring her around Mum."

"She's getting married," Harry finally said flatly. George blinked in surprise. "To someone else."

"Oh shit…"

Harry shrugged and started picking at his food. Now half the table was glaring at Ginny. "Just drop it. How are things going at the shop?"

Conversation awkwardly continued. Ron was struggling with the essay portion of his Auror Academy application. Hermione was studying day in and day out for law school and even brought a textbook to the table. Mrs. Weasley was trying to hide her disapproval of reading during family dinner by bringing out dessert. Everything slowly crept back to normal until it was time to go.

"Stop telling people I'm seeing someone," Harry hissed to Ginny as everyone said their goodbyes and lined up at the floo.

Ginny shrugged, not sorry in the slightest. "You just need a push in the right direction."

"What direction?" Harry whispered. "There's nothing I can do!"

Ginny raised her eyebrows, somehow looking down on him even though he was slightly taller. "If you love her, go get her."

She hopped into the fireplace before Harry could tell her that that was impossible.

* * *

Despite Mother's words in the hospital, the wedding was still on. Kamelia struggled through the wedding planning sober and struggled even more with the mind healer Daddy set up. Every day, she just wanted to go to bed with a glass of wine. Instead, she was surrounded by last minute plans for flower arrangements in the bathrooms or where the guests would put their gifts. Kamelia felt like she was drowning.

She was exhaustedly leaving the owlery with a catalog for her honeymoon outfits from Mother when she collided with Potter. They stared at each other for a moment. Kamelia tried not to look at him unless absolutely necessary since they day they had met. This was the first time in seven years they had even been this close to each other.

"Excuse me," Potter said flatly. Kamelia bit her lip and then kept walking, annoying Potter further. "Even though you were the one who wasn't looking."

Kamelia looked over her shoulder, not even at Potter, just in his general direction. With no emotion, she lazily said, "Potter, you disgust me."

She hurried off as Potter laughed bitterly. Even though she was "better" as Mother said, Kamelia felt like every interaction she had was forced, fake. There was only one person she was herself with, a virtual stranger.

 **I want to meet you,** she wrote one day as winter melted into spring.

 _When?_ He wrote almost immediately.

 **Eager much?** she wrote rudely, even though her heart skipped a beat with a mixture of relief and nervousness.

 _I've wanted meet you for a long time. I just figured you didn't want to._ Kamelia bit her lip. In a way, she didn't. Because she knew that the moment they were faced to face, she would be unable to go through with her marriage to Theo. And then, she'd lose her family, her home, and more likely than not, her friends.

There were less than four months left in the school year. It was more than enough time to slowly move money into a private account without Father noticing. The Malfoys had so much money that he wouldn't notice a few thousand galleons missing unless the goblins alerted him. Given his treatment of them, she doubted that they would unless he asked, especially since the accounts she would take from were from her trust fund.

 **I can't be seen. Would a goody two shoes Gryffindor skive off classes?**

 _I've skived off for less._

 **Oh excuse me. I forgot I wasn't talking to a crying little Hufflepuff.**

 _You probably are a Hufflepuff and were pretending to be a badass Slytherin this whole time. You don't have to be ashamed. Quite a few of the bravest people I've ever met were Hufflepuffs._

Kamelia snorted, causing Pansy to glare at her. For once, her best friend was burying herself in her schoolwork. **I guess you'll see.** She'd pick the middle of the week, when everyone was knee deep in homework, so there wouldn't be a lot of students skipping. **Wednesday?**

 _At the Hogshead? Not a lot of people go there. What time? I'll be the bloke with the flowers._

 **How romantic.** Kamelia's chest constricted with nerves. It wasn't too late to back out…

 _I'll put a dungbomb in the bouquet. Just for you._

But she didn't want to back out. She was just afraid. And excited. **Noon.**

* * *

She did her makeup, curled her hair, and spent a good hour trying on outfits before choosing the perfect one. Only to see Harry FUCKING Potter was waiting for her. Kamelia jumped into the nearest store before he could see her.

She tried not to hyperventilate as she pretended to browse the shop. Did he see her? Of all the people, he had to be the one at Hogwarts who hated her the most. And for good reason.

 _ **August 19**_ _ **th**_ _ **1992**_

 _"Are you lost?" Kamelia managed to slip away from Mother, who was looking at potions to help her Grandfather's rash. He hadn't been feeling well lately, and her parents' nervousness about it made her uneasy. She needed an escape._

 _The boy, whose green eyes made her blush when she looked into them, frowned. "Is this Diagon Alley?"_

 _"Knockturn Alley," she corrected, feeling smart. Her brother always knew everything. It was nice to know more than someone for once. "But I can show you the way."_

 _"Please," he said politely._

 _"Do you go to Hogwarts?" she asked. "I'm going this year. My brother said you have to fight a dragon to get sorted."_

 _His lips twitched at her worriedness. "You have to put on a hat. It talks."_

 _Kamelia blushed again and looked ahead. Out of the corner of her eye, she was surprised to see that he wasn't laughing at her. He was being genuinely kind. "That's what Mummy said. What's it like? Hogwarts?"_

 _He broke out into a dreamy smile that made her heart flutter. "Home. Only better."_

 _She wasn't used to someone who was nice just to be nice, who wanted to talk to her just to talk to her. It through her for a loop, and Kamelia had to say she liked it. She couldn't help but ask, "What's your family name?"_

 _The boy frowned. She didn't ask for his name. Before they could be friends, she had to know who his family was. The fact that he didn't seem to understand only made her want to be friends with him more. Mummy said she couldn't be friends with just anyone._

 _"Kamelia!" Speak of the devil. Mummy snapped at her, a rarity that made Kamelia flinch and feel like a terrible daughter. "What did I tell you about running off? And who are you speaking to? A filthy boy in Muggle clothing. It's obvious why his parents aren't present."_

 _Humiliation and fear burned through Kamelia as she was tugged away. What if Mummy didn't love her anymore? That's what Grandfather said would happen if she made friends with mudbloods, and, according to Mummy, this boy was obviously a mudblood._

 _The boy stared in shock, and, although she didn't want to, Kamelia forced herself to make the meanest face she could at him. She thought she had found a friend, but she didn't. At the time, she didn't realize how conditional she thought her family's love was. Today, she wasn't sure if she was entirely wrong._

 _But from that day on, she was as viciously cruel to Harry Potter as she could possibly be._

"God damnit!" she whispered to herself as her eyes starting to sting. As soon as Potter saw her, he'd want nothing to do with her. She'd have to wait for him to leave.

* * *

 _I waited for you for two hours,_ he wrote that night, most likely after his temper cooled. Kamelia knew that she would certainly be furious.

It would be easier if she could lie. She could say she saw him and was disgusted with him, but that wasn't true. Lying to him was something she grappled with on a daily basis. Life would be so much easier if she could lie and say she couldn't be bothered with filthy halfblood. Then, she could go through with the wedding knowing she burned all her bridges and couldn't go back. But Kamelia couldn't bare it.

 **I saw you and knew you'd want nothing to do with me.**

 _That's not true._

 **You've never liked me.**

 _I've always liked you. I love you._

 **You know what I mean! Face to face! In real life! You hate me!**

Kamelia squeezed her eyes shut as he started to respond. He'd guess it was her, and that'd be the end of it. There was no one in Slytherin that Potter hated more. No one besides her brother that is.

 _You didn't give me a chance to prove you wrong. You were too much of a coward to take the risk. Did you ever intend to meet me?_

 **Yes.** His words stung because they were true. Rejection was one of her worst fears, something she could never handle. She thought that she would be willing to accept her family's rejection for him, but she wasn't. Not when he could reject her too.

 _Really? Because I'm wondering if you would've shown up if I was Seamus or Dean. Or what about Ron? He's a pureblood._

 **It's not like that,** she wrote as she wiped her eyes.

 _Yes it is. You turned around because you realized what it would mean for you if you showed up. You weren't afraid of rejection. You were afraid of me accepting you for who you are because no one else does and that would mean abandoning your charmed, fake little life you're miserably forcing yourself into._

 **That's not true!**

Kamelia hyperventilated slightly as she waited for him to reply. **Harry!**

He didn't answer.

* * *

"You haven't gotten out of bed in three days," Draco said. Now that his sister wasn't drinking, she was even more of a shell of herself than she was before. Kami turned her head slightly, letting her limp, unwashed hair fall on her face. "You have therapy today."

At first, he thought she wasn't going to answer. Then, Kami mumbled miserably, "If I get out of bed, I'm going to Three Broomsticks."

With an irritated sigh, Draco sat at the foot of her bed. "Have you eaten?" Silence. "Are you going to tell me what's the matter?"

"Would you still see Astoria if she was a halfblood Gryffindor?" A half answer was better than nothing he supposed.

"If she was still her otherwise," he said slowly, "then yes. Without a doubt."

Kami pushed herself up and stared him down, trying to catch him in the nonexistent lie. "I want to call off the wedding."

Draco's eyebrows shot up, even though her words hadn't exactly surprised him. The fact that she was saying them surprised him, but the fact that she was thinking them did not. That was why he asked, "Are you going to?"

Kami glared at him. "No."

"Well that's on you." Draco looked away at her wounded, little sister look. Everyone treated her like a baby. She was too used to everyone solving all of her problems for her. "If you want your life to change, you have to change it, Kami."

"Whatever," she mumbled, turning away from him. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Who's the bloke?" he couldn't resist asking.

"What?"

"Whatever idiot you've managed to trick into falling in love with you," he drawled.

She turned back to narrow her eyes at him. His sister wasn't in the mood for his jokes and picked up her journal, waving it in his face. "He doesn't know who I am."

"So that's why he hasn't ran for the hills," he joked, trying to tease her out of bed, even if it meant she'd be chasing him with her wand. "Do you know who he is?"

"Harry Fucking Potter."

That shut him up. Draco awkwardly mumbled something even he didn't understand and headed back to his room. Perhaps it was best to leave her be…

* * *

"You were shaking at the bridal shower," Mother said quietly. "Were you—?"

"No," Kamelia said quietly. Before Mother could ask what the issue was, she whispered, "Do you love Daddy?"

Mother softened. "Of course, my flower."

"But he said—"

"I know what he said." Mother thinned her lips at all the awful memories. "He was angry, and when he's angry, he always turns into his father."

Kamelia frowned and ran her fingers over the piles upon piles of gifts that were showered upon her today. The night was slowly turning into morning, and she only managed to open half. She was rewarded greatly for doing her duty. "Did you love him when you married him?"

Mother laughed as if she told her that she was a fairy princess, like she thought her words were ridiculous, a childlike fantasy. "Of course not! We were merely acquaintances."

"So when did you," Kamelia asked slowly. Her throat felt like it was constricting. "Love him, I mean."

A sweet, almost sad, smile spread across her mother's face. "The day you were born."

Over ten years after they had married. Kamelia felt the walls closing in on her just thinking about it. Because the fact was, she didn't even like Theo. He wasn't a bad person or anything. She just… had no interested in him. "Why?"

"Because he finally showed that he was human." Mother put her hand on Kamelia's arm, feeling how tense it was. "Everything will turn out how it's supposed to be, my love."

No. It wouldn't. Kamelia pulled away from her mother. "I'm going to bed."

* * *

Hermione nitpicked at his grammar. And his atrocious handwriting. And his writing style. So Harry found himself applying to the Auror Academy in Three Broomsticks, somewhere Hermione wouldn't be caught dead lately because she was too busy studying.

"I don't get why they're even making us fill out the application," Ron grumbled.

"A formality," Harry mumbled. Or at least, that's what Kingsley told him. Should he ask McGonagall before listing her as a reference? Hermione would say yes.

Ron laughed almost bitterly and put his butterbeer to his lips. After taking a sip, he smirked. "Your girlfriend approve of your career choices?"

"Not you too," Harry groaned. "And she's not my girlfriend! She may have… bore witness to my temper."

Ron whistled low. "Well… Ginny's still single, mate."

"Shut up, Ron," Harry muttered as he tried to think of his three best qualities to put on the application. "We were supposed to meet, and she stood me up."

"Why?"

"She saw me and was intimidated by my fame," Harry said dryly. Ron raised his eyebrows, and he sighed. "She saw me before I saw her and ran off, thinking I'd want nothing to do with her."

Ron put his butterbeer down and seemed deep in thought. Harry could only imagine what kind of blunt, borderline rude speech was going to come out of his mouth. "So now you want nothing do to with her?"

"No," Harry snapped, even though he hadn't spoken to her since.

Like it was no big deal, Ron shrugged. "I guess you've gotta get over it then, mate. Wait until she thinks you don't care. And uh, wait until she gets over it, I guess."

Harry stared for a moment, tempted to take a leaf out of Snape's book and call Ron an idiot. Finally, he muttered, "She'll be married by then."

"Well—" Before Ron could give any further _stellar_ advice, the last person Harry expected interrupted their conversation.

"Potter." Malfoy looked rather uncomfortable. More so than he had been lately. "We need to talk."

 **Thank you for the reviews myafroatemydog, gr8rockstarrox, chc91776, and mmoore1545!**

 **chc91776: The last chapter was kind of the climax of the story so the mood will start picking up!**


	7. I'm not worth it

Chapter 7 I'm not worth it

"We need to talk." As soon as the words left Draco's mouth, he recalled the first time he, Kami, and Potter were in the same room. He had encouraged her to look down on him. At an early age, she had picked up on the fact that Mother and Father only wanted him, an heir, and because of that, she was desperate to please, even though she was loved dearly and called a "pleasant surprise" by Mother when asked.

 _Late August 1992_

 _If there was anyone Draco hated more than Potter, it was the Weasleys. Because of Arthur Weasley, Father had to sell artifacts that had been in their family for generations. The fact that Potter chose to be friends with the Weasleys, friends with the Weasleys over_ _ **him**_ _, only made Draco hate him ten times more._

 _"Bet you loved that, Potter?" Draco asked jealously after Potter had gotten his picture taken with the hero Gilderoy Lockhart. "So famous that walking into a bookstore gets you on the front page."_

 _Kami had peered over his shoulder to see Potter and gasped in surprise as she got a good look at him. Only moments ago, she had given Mother the slip when she saw Draco in the bookstore and had missed the Lockhart-Potter spectacle. This was her first encounter with the_ _ **famous**_ _Harry Potter._

 _"Leave him alone," the she-Weasel said firmly. Kami was watching the scene in fascination, and he suddenly felt eager to make Potter feel small. His sister was his best friend, and he wouldn't lose her to someone like Potter._

 _"Got yourself a girlfriend, Potter?" Draco laughed. The girl had to be Weasley's sister. "Is she a Weasley? You'd think you'd make sure your own girlfriend didn't have to wear cheap clothes and carry around tattered old books like the rest of her family."_

 _"What did you say?" Ronald Weasley growled as he made his way through the crowd._

 _"He said Potter's girlfriend poor and so it seems are you," Kami said after giving Weasley a once over. His sister might not be the best at judging situations for herself, but once she knew how to act, she could give anyone a run for their money. She was a wonderful follower._

 _"What?" Weasley spat._

 _"Are you deaf as well as destitute?" she asked rudely._

 _"Quiet Kamelia, you know your mother doesn't like you to sully yourself with those beneath you." And so Father had joined the fray, managing to slip Ginevra the Dark Lord's diary. The rest was history…_

"About what?" Potter asked, looking suspicious. Weasley leaned over to stare him down, eagerly awaiting another reason to punch him.

Draco sighed. Kami always had everything done for her. She was told how to dress, how to treat people, how to think. Should he really do this for her? Yet again he would be taking care of everything for her even though he thought that Kami needed to learn how to do things for herself. Then Potter would break up her wedding for her. Everyone would take care of everything for her and be shocked when she couldn't do anything for herself. She needed to do this. She needed to be strong for herself.

"I just wanted to apologize," Draco said slowly as he went back and forth between telling and not telling Potter in his mind. "For, uh, everything."

"Really?" Potter's suspicions intensified. Perhaps his Gryffindor-like brain was slowly but surely putting things together.

"I was obviously in the wrong," Draco continued. "And I… wanted to clear the air…" For Kami, he was only doing this for Kami he told himself as he felt his face turn pink. "If we were, erhm… to be connected, in some sort of way, I wouldn't want any negativity between us."

Suddenly, Potter looked alarmed. Maybe he was smarter than Draco had thought he was. "You're not applying to the Auror Academy, are you?"

Draco stared until he himself became uncomfortable. Weasley looked ready to shrivel up and die. As if he would risk his life like that! "Yes," he said through clenched teeth. "I'm on my way to pick up an application right now."

He turned heel to leave as Weasley was practically vomiting obscenity after obscenity. Draco vaguely wondered how long it would take him to figure out he was lying when Potter called after him.

"Malfoy!" Potter clapped his hand on Draco's shoulder, causing him to jump and wonder if his old rival was going to spin him around to punch him. "I know what this is really about."

He became serious, and Draco turned. So he was right the first time. No one could really be this stupid. Potter went on to say, "I know this is because you're close friends with Hermione and your girlfriend is well…" Draco raised an eyebrow at the comment on Astoria's less than perfect blood, but thankfully, Potter didn't elaborate on it. "So I accept your apology. But only because I know you mean it. Maybe Ron's next on your list?"

Like hell he would. He'd leave Potter with one more hint. Perhaps then he'd get it through his thick empty Gryffindor skull. "I'll apologize to him the day you snog my sister, Potter."

The thought absolutely revolted Potter. Well… he wished his sister luck.

* * *

 _The Yule Ball was coming up, and Potter's difficulty finding a date amused Kamelia to no end. Forget the fact that Draco had bullied Blaise Zabini into taking her… She wasn't even interested in boys yet. Potter's humiliation was much more entertaining._

 _"Your sidekick doesn't have a date yet!" she yelled across the hall as Potter was rejected by yet another girl. "You'll probably have to get him a dress that isn't second hand though!"_

 _Potter blushed so profusely that Kamelia could see it from across the hall. She felt some sort of sick satisfaction when the girl he had asked rushed away, not wanting to be seen with him while he was being made fun of._

 _"You'll never get a date for the ball because you're not worth anyone's time," she said nastily. Potter took an angry step towards her, but Draco swooped in and hexed him. They started dueling in the hallway. She was often the cause of fights between them…_

"We were going to try to uncover memories you had repressed over the past three years." Her healer was a soft spoken woman. Kamelia's attitude, remarks about her attire, and all around bitchy-ness didn't bother her in the slightest. The woman merely blinked in slight surprise, and her lips twitched into an almost smile. She didn't take any of Kamelia's cruelty seriously, and it threw the girl off a bit. "But over our last two sessions, all you can seem to talk about is Harry Potter."

"You said I could talk about whatever I wanted," Kamelia snapped.

The healer's name was Redfern, and her thin lipped mouth twitched into that half smile again. "Yes. Yes, I did. And last session, we agreed—"

"And I changed my mind," Kamelia said sassily. If Daddy hadn't picked this healer out for her, she would've been gone long ago.

Redfern nodded to herself. She had huge glasses that took over her face, reminding her of the flighty Professor Trelawney. "I'm not going back on my word. I would simply like to know why Potter is the subject of today's session."

Kamelia glared at her and folded her arms over her chest. "There is no reason."

But Redfern was good, the best. Dad wouldn't have picked her if she wasn't. "The way you describe Potter makes it seem like you fancy him. Or at least you did at one point. And the only way you could express it was like that of a spoiled child who was denied a toy."

"Excuse me?" Kamelia spat. "Potter is—"

"A halfblood. An enemy of your family." Redfern paused. "A selfless man. Have you ever encountered a selfless person before meeting Potter?"

Kamelia snorted at her stupidity. "Of course I have. My parents—"

"We've talked about how your father chose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named over his family. How your mother set expectations for you that you felt you couldn't live up to." Redfern's large eyes studied Kamelia's balled fists. "You expressed loneliness when Draco didn't want to talk to you when your father went to prison."

"That's not fair," Kamelia said loudly. Draco was the least selfish of them all, and he hadn't meant to shut her out at the time.

"It doesn't matter, Kamelia," the healer said softly. "It's how you felt. Draco's selfishness was justified. That doesn't mean it hurt you any less."

"So Potter's some god now?" They still had fifteen minutes left, but it wouldn't be the first time she cut a session short. "You're being ridiculous."

"I think you see Potter as someone who would never hurt you," Redfern said knowingly. "And you're feeling guilty because you've hurt him whenever you had the chance to."

"You're full of shit," Kamelia spat. Her exit was much less dramatic with Redfern half-smiling at her.

* * *

"Mr. Potter." After seven, no eight, years of knowing McGonagall, her stern voice never ceased to scare the living daylights out of Harry. Like a deer caught in headlights, he froze as she called his name at the end of class. He knew what this was about, but that didn't make him any less frightened. "A word."

Harry gulped and nodded numbly as he was led into her office. She gestured for him to take a seat before her desk. "Yes, professor?"

McGonagall cut straight to the point. "Why haven't you written to your partner for two weeks? Considering your position in the War, I had hoped that you would support this. As a leader—"

"I'm not a leader," Harry said with annoyance. He was brave, but he wasn't a fool. Only a fool would yell at McGonagall. "I'm a student just like everyone else."

"No you aren't," McGonagall said bluntly, but his tone didn't seem to bother her. "I'm sorry Mr. Potter, but you know you are not the average person. Never was, never will be… But that is beside the point. You've broken the rules, and I am giving you a warning as I would to any other student, if that soothes your temper."

Harry thinned his lips. "We fought."

"And like the young adults that you are, you need to work through it." McGonagall raised her eyebrows. "Do I make myself clear, Mr. Potter?"

If it was literally anyone else, he would have been stubborn and tried to argue his way out of it. He didn't even dare to say, _Fine_ in a nasty tone like he wanted to. Instead, he stiffly said, "Yes, professor."

* * *

 _McGonagall says I have to write to you._

She waited a respectable five minutes, although Harry had a feeling that she was dying to answer immediately. He waited until after dinner, not wanting to seem like too much of a coward. **Am I just going to get a one liner like Blaise's partner?**

Harry rolled his eyes. _You want me to act like nothing happened?_

 **That would be preferable, yes.**

 _I told you I didn't care who you are. I waited for you for two hours, again told you that I didn't care who you are, and have been hopeful every time a Slytherin seventh year girl even looked in my direction. But you want to act like nothing happen. You want to marry someone you don't even like instead of being with me because he's pureblood, and I'm not. And you want me to just write like normal? Oh hey Blanche, I fell asleep in History today, and Ron stuck a quill up my nose. How was your day?_

 **Every day I want to make things right…**

 _But you don't._

 **I don't care that you're a halfblood. It's my parents. I've just gotten them back, and they won't forgive me for this. I didn't think they would forgive me for before.**

 _For being taken advantage of? Love isn't conditional. It shouldn't matter to them._

 **Just like it didn't matter to your dad? Which I'm guessing is Sirius Black, who hates me almost as much as he hates Pansy by the way.**

 _We worked it out. Does he like you? Probably not, but he's my dad, and he wants me to be happy. Your parents should want you to be happy._

 **You're right.**

But nothing changed. They still couldn't seem to talk to each other like they used to, and "Blanche" made no moves to meet him. Harry felt stuck as the week started to pass, and he knew that he'd have to start up an awkward conversation with her. Suddenly, he wanted the school year to end. Maybe if he wasn't able to talk to her anymore, he'd be able to move past this.

* * *

As his final school year started coming to a close, Harry was trying to keep himself busy, meaning his mind would be busy. He had his interview with the Auror Academy coming up, but there was something he wanted to do with Sirius over his last summer break.

"It's quiet," Sirius muttered as they entered Potter Manor. It hadn't been touched since Harry's paternal grandparents had died. They were going to spend the summer fixing the place up and often talked about living here instead of Grimmauld. Even though he was of age, Harry couldn't picture living without Remus and Sirius. Too much time was lost between them.

Harry gazed at the dusty walls. It couldn't be worse than Number 12, given the fact that the Potters weren't particularly fond of Dark Magic. "Think it'll take more than the summer?"

"No," Sirius said distractedly. They were walking through the halls, and he couldn't take his eyes off the portraits. None of them spoke, and Harry wasn't sure that if he wanted them to or not.

They stopped at a portrait in the middle of the hallway, and Sirius flicked his wand to magic away a few cobwebs. It was his father, and who Harry could only assume were his grandparents. "Is that…?"

"The bratty one?" Sirius looked annoyed as he gazed at the teenager with long hair who kept rolling his eyes. A teenage James smacked him on the back of the head, and teenage Sirius put on a fake smile. "Yeah. I had gotten in a fight with Mrs. Potter that morning."

"About what?" Harry asked, feeling like he was prying.

Pain and guilt filled Sirius's eyes. "Something stupid. When they took me in, they acted as my parents. And because of how my mother was, I wasn't too kind to maternal figures. She wanted to teach me how to play the piano. Music is big among purebloods. The kids often play to entertain adults during parties…"

"And that reminded you of your mum?" Harry asked. Nothing Sirius or Remus did reminded him of Uncle Vernon. He couldn't picture it.

"Yeah." Sirius bit his lip when Harry's grandmother smiled at teenage Sirius in a mixture of love and annoyance. "Learning to play an instrument was something I always fought with Walburga about. Being the numbskull that I was, I jumped the gun and thought she was trying to turn me into a better pureblood. She… had just wanted to spend time with me."

His grandmother looked at the real Sirius and smirked. Harry wondered, "Did you ever make up with her?"

"No," Sirius said curtly, angry with himself. "Well, I never apologized. But that didn't mean she refused to forgive me. She was there for my birthday. Invited me back for Christmas. Got me presents that I actually wanted… She showed me love that I wasn't used to, and by the time I was mature enough to appreciate it, she got sick."

"I'm sorry." Harry didn't know what else to say. Euphemia Potter leaned over and pinched her son's cheek in the portrait. James Potter laughed, and teenage Sirius rolled his eyes yet again.

"James said that she loved me even though I was a little shit." Sirius laughed bitterly. "I know he's right but… I still wish I wasn't a little shit."

"You were a kid," Harry found himself saying, even though Sirius wasn't much younger at the time than Harry is now. While he sometimes felt starved for a parent's love, his godfather had been so used to not having it that he didn't know what it looked or felt like.

Sirius shrugged, looking a little distant. "Lily said something like that. That I couldn't look back on things I did as a child and judge them with an adult's perspective."

"Mum thought you were an adult?" Harry snickered when his godfather swatted at him and then added seriously, "She's right, Padfoot. We all act like a prat sometimes."

But Sirius didn't look convinced. "I want to fix up the piano first."

Harry nodded, and they set to work.

* * *

Although her mind healer was a total quack, Kamelia realized that she had a lot of pieces of her adolescence that she was only just starting to remember. She was dreading her wedding rehearsal, and the icing on the cake was that she was hit was a few memories of her usual charming self.

She was walking down the aisle, not even able to look her father in the eye as her arm was tightly tucked into his. A drop of sweat ran down her back, and Kamelia blamed it on the heat, since summer was in a few weeks' time.

As she got closer to the alter, she heard her mother whisper Theo's dad, "Can you picture a little boy with Kami's blue eyes and Theo's light brown hair? Absolutely gorgeous!"

Kamelia closed her eyes and could barely hear what the priest was saying. She was somewhere else entirely.

 _January 1997_

 _"I need the morning after potion." Kamelia was demanding. One had to be demanding when dealing with Severus. If not, he would make you feel as small and pathetic as he felt._

 _Severus raised his eyebrows. "And what would fifteen year old Kamelia_ _ **Narcissa**_ _Malfoy want with that?"_

 _He was threatening to tell her mother, but Kamelia knew that he wouldn't. His acts of kindness were hidden by cruelty, and he was trying to manipulate her into talking about her situation with her parents._

 _"None of your business," she snapped. "Are you going to give it to me or not?"_

 _Severus scrutinized her. Their relationship usually consisted of him being cold and stoic and her being cheerful, charming, and cheeky. She did her best to block him as he tried to see into her mind and knew that whatever he saw would most likely be fuzzy and hard to examine carefully._

 _"You're not as talented as your brother," he said cryptically. "Do you need help, Kamelia?"_

 _He saw nothing. Kamelia forced herself to believe that. "I need the potion."_

 _Severus stared at her for a long time. "Very well."_

 _"And you won't tell my mother?" she asked curtly._

 _"No." He paused like he always did when he was considering showing emotion. "I find it peculiar that you desire to keep your partner's identity a secret. If someone is harming you, I will not hesitate to inform the authorit—"_

 _"You mean the Dark Lord?" she asked resentfully._

 _Severus's lips thinned at the mention of him. Without another word, he went to his private stores and handed her the potion._

"You may now kiss the bride."

She had been going through the motions as she thought of this memory and hadn't even realized that the rehearsal was already coming to a close. As Theo leaned into kiss her, Kamelia went absolutely still.

 _She had left Severus's office feeling humiliated, disgusting, and scared, and three guesses who she collided with when she stormed out of the dungeons._

 _Potter had been stalking her brother, so it wasn't a surprise that he was lurking about on their first night back at school after the holidays. Her forehead smashed into his causing her to yell out a string of swears that made him jump in surprise._

 _"Sor—"_

 _The automatic apology died on Potter's lips as Peeves started flying about and laughing like the impish fool that he was. He was singing and prancing about the air, waving about mistletoe that he must have stolen when the Christmas decorations were being cleaned up._

 _"Let's see a kiss from the two lovebirds!" Knowing that they hated each, the poltergeist started laughing hysterically._

 _Potter shook his head and laughed nervously. "We're not going to—"_

 _"Like I'd willingly touch a disgusting sack of shit like you!" Kamelia forced herself not to cry at the thought of kissing Potter. A few days ago, she had had sex when she didn't want to, and although Rodolphus loved her, she still felt violated, even though she felt like she shouldn't._

 _Potter blinked in surprise at her words. Despite how mean she was, she was never really_ _ **that**_ _vulgar. "Right…" He put his hand on her shoulders, angering her further as he moved her out of his way. "Well, I'd best be going now. A pleasure as always Kamelia."_

 _She could still feel his fingers on her shoulders, and it was easier to react to that than what happened to her over Christmas hols. Kamelia let all of her anger over what was happening come out and release itself on Potter. "If you keep poking around where you don't belong, you're going to end up like your mudblood mother!"_

 _Potter's shoulders tensed, but he didn't turn around. Kamelia had a feeling that he didn't trust himself to. "Fuck. You."_

 _He left to go spy on Draco, leaving Kamelia to find another outlet for her emotional turmoil. If she firecalled Rodolphus perhaps he would give her a drink to settle her nerves…_

A few tears spilled down Kamelia's cheeks as Theo pulled away from her. Those who were unaware of how she felt, meaning everyone besides Draco and maybe Mother, thought they were happy tears as she forced herself to smile. Family and friends walked up to the alter to titter about how excited they were for the upcoming wedding.

As she tried to back out of the crowd to escape back to school, she heard Mother whisper to Father and Mr. Nott, "We need to move up this wedding."

Kamelia had never felt so trapped.

 **Thanks for the reviews firstofhername, myafroatemydog, MyAfroAteMyPanda, rabradley09, PhoenixForYou, and Jogroka!**

 **Myafroatemydog: Kami needs to start fighting for herself though! Although Harry's denial is pretty strong! XD**

 **PhoenixForYou: I updated two weeks after I had planned… But if I'm going to update, its most likely going to be on a Thursday night.**

 **A/N: Next chapter features Kami with a backbone! Would you like to see more Sirius and Harry scenes? :)**


	8. I'm my own person

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine**

Chapter 8 I am my own person

"He just needs to grow up." The school year was coming to a close, and Pansy was starting to realize that Draco's relationship with Astoria wasn't just a fling. For the past week, Kamelia had to listen to a nonstop string of insults directed at Astoria. Sometimes the poor girl was in the room, and sometimes she wasn't. Since Draco hadn't made Pansy cry in a fit of rage, it was clear that his girlfriend never told him what was going on.

Of course, Pansy immediately changed the subject once Draco was in earshot. They were about to sit down for breakfast, and conversation changed to about Kamelia's wedding.

Astoria looked at her plate as Draco pretended to listen to Pansy talking about all the upcoming weddings and how she wanted her own wedding to be. Pansy not so subtly said, "Perhaps I'll go to France to find a proper _pureblood_ partner."

"You do that," Draco muttered as Astoria started to blush. Her "unpure" blood was less than ten percent Muggle.

Still, Kamelia didn't know what came over her when she turned to Pansy and said flatly, "We're not friends anymore."

A hushed silence fell over the Slytherin table. Kamelia herself tense at her own words and forced herself to look at her slack jawed newly ex-best friend. She recalled Harry saying that the two of them never really were friends when she described Pansy to her. Suddenly, she felt like he was right.

"Excuse me?" Pansy whispered.

Kamelia bit her lip. "I don't like the way you treat people, and I don't want to be around someone so negative. It wears me down."

Such simple words. Without insults and sneers to hide behind, Kamelia felt a little exposed. She told someone how she felt without masking it with malice or an air of superiority. Despite the icky feeling of a lost childhood friendship, Kamelia had to say that she felt relieved.

"You know what wears me down?" Pansy hissed. "Having to deal with an alcoholic bitch with the self-control of a filthy whore Muggle!"

Pansy stomped off, and Kamelia let her go. She had to. They both had to move on.

* * *

Harry's heart felt like it was in his stomach as he packed his things on the last day of school. Hogwarts had been his home for so long that leaving already hurt, and it was only morning. He didn't have to leave until midnight.

As he packed, he found little trinkets that he thought he lost. The first sock Dobby had given him. An old WWW prototype from Fred and George. Receipt from his date at Madam Puddifoot's with Cho.

"Packrat," Ron joked when he saw Harry holding the twigs he kept from his first broom.

Although he was a little embarrassed, Harry put everything in his trunk anyway. He would probably never touch these things again, but he couldn't let them go. "At least I haven't found two dozen candy wrappers."

"I'm throwing them out!" Ron yelled in mock offense.

Harry laughed and playfully shoved his best friend. "You're lucky Hermione has too many overdue library books to turn in to see your mess!"

Ron held his hands up. "Oi! 'Mione loves me for the slovenly pig that I am. In fact, she probably expected a worse mess."

"Good to know her expectations of you are so low," Harry said dryly as Ron shoved him. He frowned as he looked at his journal, and Ron stopped just before putting him in a headlock. Hermione loved Ron for who he was. He should accept nothing less. "This year went by too fast."

"They always do," Ron said glumly.

Harry picked the journal up and tapped the cover. "I've got to go turn this in."

"I'm sure McGonagall will let you keep it." Ron sounded worried. "You did save everyone's arse after all."

"I don't want it." Harry winced at his own tone and forced himself to smile. "You're the one who said I was a packrat."

"Alright, mate," Ron said solemnly before turning into his usual cheeky self. "No need to get moody on me. I get enough of that from Hermione… Don't tell her I said that."

"Prat."

* * *

Harry stood outside McGonagall's office for nearly five minutes before knocking on her door with a sweaty fist. After he turned in the journal, every trace of her was going to be gone from his life, a girl who he didn't even know by name.

"Come in."

With a deep breath, Harry opened the door and wordlessly gave McGonagall the journal. She raised her eyebrows at his obvious distress and didn't take it. Once it started getting awkward, he placed the journal on her desk and started to leave.

"She left you a letter, Mr. Potter." McGonagall opened her desk drawer and handed him an envelope. Familiar handwriting on the front said **Harry.** "Well take it! It's not going to bite!"

"Y-yes, m'am," Harry said numbly as he took the letter with shaking hands.

McGonagall gave him a ghost of a smile. "She said she signed it."

* * *

"If you don't open that bloody thing, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life," Sirius barked at dinner the following evening. Harry said nothing as his godfather chomped on his dinner like a starving man as usual. The letter was in his pocket, as it had been since he got it. "You know when you're going to open it? When you're divorcing some bint that none of us like."

"As subtle and eloquent as always, Padfoot," Remus said as he poured himself some more wine. "Perhaps you'd like to insult his new haircut as well."

Sirius ignored him and continued painting the picture of how his life would be if he didn't open the letter. "You'll get some airhead up the duff and marry her because you'll want a family. Then, you'll catch her in bed with—"

"Sirius!" Harry yelled. He narrowed his eyes and took the letter out of his pocket, but his godfather was never one for patience.

"If you don't open that right now," he hissed, "I'm going to jump across the table and open it myself."

"This is why Lily wanted to name me godfather." Remus took a sip of his wine to hide his smile.

Harry's heart started to pound as he slid his finger under the flap of the envelope as Sirius watched with narrowed eyes. The mutt leaned forward as Harry hesitated, and if he wasn't currently a bag of nerves, he would have been tempted to flip his godfather off.

 **My dearest Harry,**

 **Don't forget to write.**

 **Kamelia Narcissa Malfoy**

"What the fuck?!"

* * *

The world had to be playing some sick, cosmic joke on him. Kamelia Malfoy, the one who made it her life's mission to make him miserable every chance she got. The most stuck-up, shallow, cruel person he knew. The one who lashed out at him when they touched, who leaned away from Ron. The one who got drunk and threw herself at Sirius, only to get so worked up that she passed out when he mentioned incest…

The one who made him laugh no matter how terrible his day was, who pushed him to make things right with Sirius when they fought. She was always there for him.

Until she wasn't.

The more Harry thought about it, the more he realized that he had been in denial about this for a while. It was right in front of his face, and he refused to believe it. He hated Kamelia that much. Could he really be in love with someone who treated him like that?

No wonder she didn't want to tell him. He said he didn't care, but now that he knew, he did care. He couldn't erase years of bad memories, no matter how much he wanted to. The important question was, did it matter to him?

Of course it did. He would never forget how horrible she made him feel but knowing this other side of her made him want to move past it. He didn't know if he could, but like Sirius said, he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't.

The next morning, he sat down for breakfast at the Weasley's and turned to Hermione, who was good friends with Draco Malfoy. "'Mione? When's Kamelia Malfoy getting married?"

Before she could answer, Ginny turned to Ron. "I told you he was going to break up the wedding. You owe me five sickles."

It seemed like he was…

* * *

The corset of her wedding gown was so tight that Kamelia couldn't breathe. She barely moved as she watched the house elves putting white flowers in her hair. Her face was blank with a twinge of misery as she watched them put the finishing touches on her hair and makeup. She didn't want to do this and felt the constant simmering of anger deep in her chest. If she let it so much as bubble to the surface, she knew she would explode.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father slip into the dressing room. They must be ready to start, so he was coming to give her away. It was common practice, even among muggles she heard, but Kamelia felt like an object at the thought of it. He was giving her away like he was giving someone a present.

Kamelia turned to face him, and his face, as usual, revealed nothing. Was he still disgusted with her? Draco was right. Her father didn't start treating her like a human being again until he thought that she was going to be the only one to continue the pureblood line.

"I was fourteen," she said when he held his hand out to take her.

Father blinked in surprise. "What?"

"I was fourteen," she repeated. "When it started. I was a girl, and he was a man."

Father turned away and let his hand fall to his side. "Let's not talk about this, Kami. Not today."

"Oh sorry," she snapped. "We can only talk about why you think I'm a whore when it's convenient for you."

"You're not…" Father sighed, making Kamelia feel like she was a slight annoyance to _his_ big day. "You're not a whore, Kamelia. I overreacted—"

"You didn't overreact," Kamelia said loudly. "You _blamed_ me. You blamed _me_ … You blamed me for being raped!"

"You weren—"

"I was," Kamelia snarled. This was the first time she said it, the first time she was willing to admit that she was in fact raped, and she wasn't going to let him deny it. "What else do you call a man in his late forties giving a young teenager alcohol to have sex with her?" He didn't answer. "Well? What else do you call it?!"

He still refused to answer, and Kamelia knew that he never wanted to bring this up again because she was doing what he wanted, making everything right, as Mother said. There was no need to bring it up because he didn't have the need to verbally attack her at the moment. Instead, he held out his arm. "Let's go, Kami."

* * *

The walk down the aisle was tortuously long, and it was finally over, Kamelia forced herself to look at Theo, really look at him for the first time in, well, ever. He blushed and looked away, but he was still happy. She didn't love him, and she knew that she never would. Deep down, he probably knew too, and it wasn't fair to him to be with someone who pretended to care for him. He was a good person, just not _her_ person.

"Do you, Kamelia Narcissa Malfoy, take Theodore Pascal Nott to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

She looked past him to see her parents in the first row of the church. Her mother was dabbing her eyes while her father was a cool as a cucumber as usual. Kamelia clenched her fists as the silence started to grow awkward, then nervous. She was already crying when she ran down the aisle as fast as she could.

When she heard the first collection of gasps, she fell, hard, so hard that she didn't move at first. She couldn't do this. She had to turn back.

But there was no turning back. Everyone's eyes were on her as she pushed herself up, crying out a bit as she heard her wedding dress tear. It was the hardest thing she had ever done, but Kamelia pushed herself up and ran out the church without looking back.

She ripped open the church doors to see the stunned face of the Savior himself in the flesh, Harry Fucking Potter.

 **Thank you for the reviews rabradley09, myafroatemydog, gr8rockstarrox, and Vttir Bjorn!**

 **myafroatemydog: I figure it was either that or a good friend of yours!**

 **gr8rockstarrox: Nope! I'm not really a Taylor Swift fan.**

 **Vttir Bjorn: Well, it's here if you change your mind!**

 **And** **gr8rockstarrox made the awesome banner for my birthday! Thanks again!**

 **Anything you'd like to see between Kami and Harry now that they've met?**


	9. I'm awkward

**Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 9 I'm awkward

They stared at each other like a pair of terrified strangers. Harry was sure his eyes were just as wide as hers as they stared at each other for what felt like ages. It couldn't have been though because Kamelia glanced over her shoulders at the giant, ancient, doors of the church.

"We have to go," she whispered frantically.

This was actually happening, Harry thought as they ran for the property border where they could apparate. It wasn't some weird dream of a faceless bride or some deranged story that Sirius made up. This was real.

* * *

He figured she wouldn't be comfortable at Grimmauld, showing up in a wedding dress and having Sirius's hot dog breath in her face as he barked out question after question. So, he took her to Potter Manor. Falling apart Potter Manor.

"Is this meant to impress me?" she said breathlessly as they appeared in the cobweb covered sitting room. Her tone wasn't sarcastic and playful like he sensed she wanted it to be. Her voice shook, and shock was making her almost as pale as her white dress.

"Is it working?" Harry forced himself to say coolly.

Her lips twitched into an almost smile as she threw herself onto the nearest couch in exhaustion. The resulting dust cloud made Harry break out into a coughing fit and her watch worriedly, not knowing what to do.

Eventually, Harry sat next to her, and they both stared at the dusty wall, not knowing what to say to each other. Without being face to face, they were able to tell each other anything. Now…

"I can't believe I did that…" She rubbed her eyes and put her face in her hands, not knowing what to do. At least she wasn't crying, but Harry didn't know what to do either.

Harry reached out to touch her shoulder but let his hand fall to his side. Did she regret it? He was too scared to ask.

After a few moments of tense silence, Kamelia turned and forced herself to face him. "I'm sorry. That I was such a bitch for seven years."

"Eight," Harry corrected and immediately blushed at the insult. Somehow, he had forgotten that she was the same person he had been talking to all school year because instead of getting hurt or angry like he expected, she merely snorted. "I-It's okay."

"No. It's not." Kamelia reached out like she was going to grab one of his hands but pulled away, just as nervous to touch him as he was to touch her.

Well, he wasn't a Gryffindor for nothing. Harry blushed to the roots of his hair when he asked, "Can I kiss you?"

She blinked in surprise, making Harry think he was being too forward. "No one's ever asked me that before."

"Well they should have," Harry said firmly, not wanting to think about her past.

His words made an unreadable emotion well up in her eyes as she put his face in her hands and kissed him slowly. He knew in that moment that everything would be okay.

* * *

Half an hour later, Sirius sent a patronus to "make sure he wasn't dead." Kamelia grinned at his embarrassment, but then Harry quickly got her back.

"So you're coming to family dinner?" he asked teasingly.

"In this?" she joked, gesturing to her wedding dress. And then her face fell. "Oh no…"

"What?" He would make sure that Sirius was on his best behavior. Better than that, he would make sure his godfather was on Remus level best behavior.

One would think a puppy just shriveled up and died in front of her. "My Gringotts keys are in my room! I'd been squirreling away money for months and— Sully!"

Kamelia called the name firmly, making Harry only assume she was calling a house elf, but nothing happened. Still, her blue eyes danced around the sitting room frantically, as if the elf was hiding. She was met with complete silence.

"You're my elf!" she yelled, sounding a little bratty.

"Maybe the wards here…" Harry tried, but she shook her head.

"The little bitch hears me," she mumbled. Hopefully this wouldn't come up around Hermione… Then, she sighed and forced herself to smile. "I guess I'm meeting your family in my wedding dress."

"It's a very nice dr— No!" Harry laughed when she whacked him in the head with a dusty pillow, but she shrieked when he returned the favor. They'd get back to Sirius eventually…

* * *

Sirius was pacing by the time Harry showed up with _her._ They were covered from head to toe in dust, making him lean up the fireplace to see if the floo needed cleaning. When Ginny cackled, he thought it was at his own stupidity.

"The two of you look like you were _wrestling._ " The youngest Weasley wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't know what you're talking about Gin." But Harry's hair _did_ look rather disheveled, more so than usual. What he could see of Kamelia's makeup was smudged. Were they…?

"Oh God!" Sirius moaned.

"Sirius." His poor godson was practically begging as he started spelling away the dust.

Thankfully for Harry, Molly called out, "Dinner's ready!"

* * *

Harry knew everyone and Kamelia would be awkward at first, but this was awful. Everyone was picking at their food, and no one was talking except Mrs. Weasley. Three guesses what she was talking about.

"You're so thin!" she exclaimed. Ron smirked as he tucked into his mash potatoes.

Kamelia didn't know what to say, so she went for the usual Malfoy route, meaning she was rude and sarcastic. "Yeah I lost a lot of weight when I quit pounding hard liquor every night. Thanks for noticing."

The awkward silence increased tenfold, causing her to glance at Harry apologetically. Unfortunately for her, however, Mrs. Weasley didn't raise seven children and have thin skin. Her words bounced off her like nothing.

"You're about Ginny's size," she said firmly. "Both of you are too thin. So I suppose you'll have to do with her clothes. Unless of course, you'd rather spend the night in a wedding dress."

"Ginny? Ginny Weasley?" she said incredulously.

"The one and only," Harry muttered.

Hermione tried to be the saving grace, unlike Ron who was laughing with a mouth full of mashed potatoes. She tutted at him in disapproval and turned to Kamelia. "I could write to Draco and see if he could send something of yours."

He knew that Kamelia was going to ruin the olive branch offering by the shocked look on her face. Sirius was staring Harry down as Kamelia said in surprise, " _You're_ allowed to send post to the house?"

Ron stood out of his seat until Hermione put a hand on his arm. "Yes," she said thinly. "Draco and I are friends."

Kamelia's mouth hung open slightly as Harry tried to figure out how to do damage control. She couldn't believe that her brother would be friends with a muggleborn. "So that's why he got so mad when I—"

"Yes." Hermione was forcing herself to remain civil. The room was becoming a ticking time bomb.

Kamelia cast her eyes down to her plate. Then, she forced herself to look Hermione dead in the eye and said, "I'm sorry."

Now it was Hermione's turn to look shocked. Ron finally started choking on his mash potatoes, but Sirius only narrowed his eyes in suspicion while Remus halfheartedly glared at him. After a moment, Hermione nodded. "It's alright."

* * *

"That was… interesting," Harry said as he walked Kamelia to her room. She was still wearing the wedding dress, which itched. Not because of the material, but because of how guilty she felt.

Kamelia scratched her arm. "About that—"

"It's alright," he lied. "Only slightly worse than I thought it would be."

She grinned and said, "You'd be much worse with my friends." Then, she awkwardly added, "If I had any left."

"If they won't stick by you, they were never your friends to begin with," Harry said firmly.

"Thanks for saying I've never had any friends…"

"Hey." Harry lifted her chin up and kissed her softly. "It's going to be alright."

"Harry _lurves_ Kamelia!" an obnoxious voice sang from behind them just as Kamelia felt like she was starting to relax. She jumped and turned around to see the youngest Weasley grinning at her. "Hey roomie."

 _"Roomie?"_ Kamelia repeated in horror. Harry turned bright red. Wasn't Ginny Weasley his old girlfriend?

Weasley nodded, absolutely loving this. "I'm in London for Quidditch training. Unless you want to sleep in Hermione's room, but your bed will be covered with a pile of books."

"There, er, are not enough bedrooms," Harry mumbled.

"Besides…" Weasley snickered. "Mum says we're sharing clothes! We'll be just like sisters. Or…" Her smile widened. "Sister Wives."

"Ginny!"

Weasley waved Harry off. "I'm teasing! C'mon. I'll find something for you to wear."

Kamelia looked over her shoulder as Weasley ushered her into their room. _Their_ room. Harry waved to her like he wasn't sure if she was going to come out of the room alive. Maybe she wouldn't.

* * *

Father said that the Weasleys couldn't afford to even wash their clothes. They saved for months for soap and took their clothes to the nearest river, lathered them up, and then beat them against a rock. Surely he was joking. Surely.

Kamelia tried not to say anything as Ginny Weasley threw a pair of pajamas at her. They didn't _seem_ to smell. "T-thanks."

"So what was it like?" To her horror, Weasley started changing into her pajamas in front of her. "Having Harry break up your wedding."

"He didn't." Kamelia swallowed at the guilty lump in her throat. What had she done? "I-I ran off, and he was there. I almost ran into him, actually."

"Ooh! Andromeda Tonks style!" Now that she was finally dressed, Weasley started brushing her hair. Kamelia hoped she didn't pass her the brush. What if she had lice? "I'm sure Sirius is writing to her right now. He doesn't like you by the way."

"Oh really?" Kamelia drawled. "I thought he just always had a disgusted look on his face."

Weasley shrugged. "He'll pretend to like you for Harry. Besides, you proved him wrong by apologizing to Hermione. Keep proving him wrong. He's used to it anyway."

"Okay…"

Weasley handed her the brush, and Kamelia forced herself to accept but couldn't bring herself to actually use it. "He wanted Harry to go after you anyway." She paused, not sure if she could continue but ultimately barreled on anyway. Stupid Gryffindors. "Because he saw how much Harry loves you. Everyone does. That's why you weren't eaten alive at dinner tonight."

"Okay." She was starting to sound like a bloody parrot, but she couldn't help it. Like she had every day for the past few months, she wanted a drink.

"Are you alright?" Weasley actually seemed concerned. Kamelia nodded. "Well, it's been a long day for you. I've got some firewhiskey under my bed if you want some."

Kamelia stared, but Weasley didn't seem like she was joking or mocking her. Harry hadn't told them? That must be why they were being so nice. They didn't know about her sordid past, how disgusting she was. Harry kept her secrets. "No. I think I'll just go to bed."

Weasley shrugged, not suspicious or curious in the slightest. "Alright. Suit yourself. Night."

"Good… good night."

* * *

"You didn't tell them anything? About me?" Kamelia snuck into Harry's room the following morning. She looked away when she saw that he had yet to put his shirt on but otherwise didn't acknowledge it. "Even the drinking?"

Harry wished he could stop himself from blushing as he hastily put a t-shirt on. "No. I asked Sirius how he stopped when we were writing about you stopping. So he knows. And I'm sure your _'pounding hard liquor every night'_ comment tipped a few others off."

"And the other stuff?" Her eyes were filled with worry.

"Of course not." Harry frowned when she sighed with relief. It wasn't his story to tell. "I'd never do something like that."

Kamelia ran her fingers over one of his Quidditch trophies. She obviously didn't feel comfortable here, but without so much as her own toothbrush, she didn't have anywhere else to go. "Sooo… what are we doing today?"

"Fixing up Potter Manor." Harry tried to hide his smile at the face she made at the thought of doing manual labor. "You can, erhm… Do something else?"

"Is there a music room?" she asked with interest.

Harry recalled what Sirius said about pureblood children and music. "Yeah! Sirius has been fixing it up! It's brilliant!"

His heart fluttered when she looked impressed. "Do you play? I play the cello, violin, fiddle, and when I was a kid, I thought about getting into the piano, but that was more my brother's thing."

"I, uh, blew a whistle once." Harry almost laughed when Kamelia stared for a moment and started giggling, but as soon as she started, Sirius practically kicked open the door.

"What are you two doing?" his godfather barked.

Kamelia immediately took three steps away from Harry and looked mortified at what Sirius was implying. Harry said through clenched teething, "Talking."

"Really?" Sirius didn't seem to believe them, even though they were standing and completely clothed after he had burst in without warning. "Well, Harry. I would like to _talk_ to you."

"I think—" Before Harry could come up with an excuse, Sirius was practically dragging him away. He looked over his shoulder, practically begging Kamelia for help, but he knew it was no use. He hoped Sirius didn't have in store for him what he thought he did.

"Are you serious about this girl?" Sirius hissed as he dragged him through the walls.

Great. "No. I went to break up a wedding because I felt like having a summer fling. I'll drop her off at Nott's house in September."

Sirius glared at him and yanked him into his room, which was kept exactly the same as the day he left it when he was a teenager. "Because I don't think you're ready to have sex," he told Harry in his bedroom, which had walls littered with old posters of girls in bikinis. "Especially with someone you've only been with for a day."

"Oh really?" Harry said steadily despite the heat he was feeling in his cheeks. "I'll be nineteen in a month. It's not exactly your business."

But Sirius clearly thought it was. Worse, he had no shame. "Have you ever? Do you know what to do?"

"Sirius!"

Sirius shook his head quickly and held his hands up in surrender. "No, no! I mean the proper charms! To make sure you're safe."

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'll figure it out if I need to."

Any other person would have read between the lines, knowing that he didn't want to have this conversation with them. Tragically, Sirius wasn't the average bloke. "So you're a virgin?"

"Sirius!" He was practically whining now.

"Then Ginny?" he asked. Harry quickly shook his head, not wanting Weasleys to come after him because of a lie he said to shut Sirius up. "Cho? _Hermione?_ "

"What?! No!" Where was Remus when he needed him? He was pretty sure that Kamelia knew about birth control. If not, she'd been extremely lucky. Either way, the two of them would talk about it when the time was right. And Sirius would hopefully be far, far away.

"Look. I just want you to be prepared." Sirius took out his wand. "We can practice the charms on each other."

Maybe they would talk about the spells and nothing else. Then he could finally spend the day in peace. Harry forced himself to say, "Fine."

"And then I'll teach you how to use condoms in case your wand gets snapped." Great. Just great. Who would've thought that Sirius was Mad-Eye Moody level paranoid when it came to safe sex?

* * *

Harry was still red in the face when he finally made it down to breakfast. As soon as he sat down, Kamelia stole his bacon. "Apparently I'm too thin," she teased. Mrs. Weasley's comment yesterday seemed to have struck a chord.

"I love you just the way you are," Harry said as he snatched the bacon out of her hand. She smiled only slightly, but her eyes lit up, making Harry realize this was the first time he told her that he loved her out loud.

Everyone was staring, making her sink into her seat a little, but the smile didn't disappear. "I'd love you more if—"

She didn't finish that awkward joke that would make the rest of the occupants of the breakfast table try their best not to judge her because Hedwig the Second, a graduation present from Sirius, dropped a letter on his plate. His new owl intercepted letters to him, since the wards wouldn't let an owl they didn't know deliver anything. Once she deemed it safe, she would deliver it to him. The _Mr. Potter_ written on the envelope in black ink made Kamelia pale, and Harry didn't recognize the insignia on the other side.

"That's my dad's handwriting," she said quietly, looking like she wanted to be sick. "D-did anyone see us yesterday?"

"I dunno," Harry muttered as he opened the letter. The church had windows, so all anyone would have to do is look out one.

"What's it say?" Sirius asked, but Harry could tell by his voice that he knew exactly what the letter said. Kamelia did too, judging by her clenched fists in her lap and her refusal to look at him.

Harry reread the letter, not believing what he was reading. "I'm being sued." For one hundred thousand galleons. "For Kamelia's dowry."

 **So many reviews for the last chapter! I almost ended it after that chapter and wrote an epilogue or a sequel taking place a few years later instead. But I know what happens next, so I figured I'd keep going. Thank you rabradley09, myafroatemydog, firstofhername, mmoore1545, Alexiandra18, rjdevelbiss, gr8rockstarrox, noble helliom, Sowing Season, and Aleandra Odinson!**


	10. I'm not an object

**Harry Potter isn't mine.**

Chapter 10 I'm not an object

 _His first mistake was on the day of her birth. As with Draco, Lucius had not been allowed in the room. Instead, he sat with his father in the waiting room, listening to the old man complain about the seats and make crude remarks about the secretary._

 _"If I were but ten years younger, I'd take her as a mistress," his father muttered, but Lucius was barely listening._

 _The baby was an accident. They had their heir, and given that this child was conceived less than two months after his birth, Lucius found himself worrying more than when Narcissa was expecting Draco._

 _Before Draco, they barely knew each other. Their relationship went from being acquaintances, to awkward friends who had sex under martial obligation, to friends desperately trying to provide a Malfoy heir. Once Draco was born, Lucius saw Narcissa in a different light._

 _She stood up to his father, saying that Draco would not have a nursemaid. She refused to allow Draco to be tested for being a Squib. She laughed in Father's face for trying to draw up a marriage contract for their newborn. She was blunt, stubborn, and rude. She was amazing._

 _Her current pregnancy weakened her, but she refused the advised abortion and only seemed to regain color when Father had suggested it, stating that she was carrying a girl and already had a male heir. Lucius feared losing her and supposed he cared for her deeply. But only cared for her. There was no such thing as falling in love._

 _But when healer came out, looking concerned, Lucius's heart clenched like a fist was squeezing it. Was Narcissa okay?_

 _"I'm afraid we have to rush Narcissa into surgery," the healer said gravely. "We'll perform a Caesarean section, but Narcissa seems to be hemorrhaging. If we don't have time and have to choose—"_

 _"The child," Father said with no hesitant. Then, he looked at Lucius, "You can find another wife. Perhaps one that knows her place."_

 _But it wasn't Father's decision. The healer was looking at Lucius, who never made a decision without Father's approval. Without Narcissa… He found himself gasping, "Save my wife!"_

 _A few hours later, both mother and baby were happy and healthy. Magic was a wonderful thing. So wonderful, that Lucius's mind was still reeling at the miracle. He couldn't believe that they both had survived._

 _"Isn't she beautiful?" Narcissa cooed as she snuggled her. Lucius stared at the baby as he was bombarded with conflicting emotions. Love, fear, shock, and most of all, guilt._

 _"Y-yes." He had resented the little baby for existing, for making his wife sick, and nearly killing her. Until this moment, he had never thought of her as what she was, his daughter. As the seconds ticked by the guilt grew along with his love for her. He had almost condemned his own daughter to death._

 _And what did he do to assuage his guilt? He had spoiled her rotten._

He had spoiled her so much, Lucius thought as he spoke with his lawyer, that she was incapable of making rational decisions. Instant gratification was all she thought about, and he had thought she had learned her lesson with Lestrange, but clearly she had not. She was ruining her life, throwing herself in a world that she did not belong in.

Potter had stolen her as Lestrange thought he could. Kamelia belonged with her family, and Lucius was going to get her back.

* * *

"One hundred thousand galleons," Ron said for the fifth time after Harry read the letter aloud. "That's—"

"A substantial amount," Hermione said. Kamelia shrunk in her seat at her words. "I don't think it's even legal. Isn't the limit—"

"Obviously there are ways around the law," Sirius said darkly. "Drop it, Hermione."

Although Harry couldn't figure out why his godfather did, he figured that Kamelia would be happy, if not somewhat smug, about Sirius defending her. Instead, her face flushed with embarrassment, and her eyes filled with tears. She ran upstairs without a word.

"This is a private matter," Sirius told Hermione calmly, without the previous harshness.

* * *

The water was scalding hot, but Kamelia didn't care as she scrubbed herself with soap until her skin itched and stung. He knew. He knew and already didn't like her and was going to tell everyone that she was a whore.

Mother often said that Black was an idiot, but it didn't take an idiot to know why Father had given her a dowry that was twice that of her own mother's. Kamelia turned off the water and curled into a ball on the bathroom floor. People weren't supposed to know about things like this. They were supposed to think that she was good, clean. She hadn't wanted anyone to know the truth.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, but Kamelia didn't budge. "Kamelia? … Kami?"

Only her family called her that, but somehow, Harry saying it felt right. Kamelia wiped her eyes, even though she hadn't let the tears come yet. "I'm taking a shower."

"Alright…" The water wasn't running, so he knew that she was lying. She just needed a few minutes to come to terms with how everyone knew, how they were going to look at her and talk about her. "I'll be out in the hall when you're done."

Kamelia dressed and came out when she was only slightly pink and found herself having trouble looking Harry in the eye. "They know."

"Know what?" When she finally forced herself to look at him, she could see that he looked genuinely concerned and a bit confused.

"You know," she tried but clearly he didn't, and led her into his room so no one else would hear.

"Know what?" Harry repeated.

Kamelia didn't want to even say it, even though they had discussed it before. She had to force herself to say lowly, "That I'm not a virgin."

Without thinking, he blurted out, "So?" Then, he shook his head and asked, "Why would they think that?"

Did he really not get it? Did Muggles not have dowries? Surely they did. Mother said no decent family would marry without a contract. "That's why my father paid so much for me to get married. So the Notts wouldn't ask. Hopefully Mother still has the jewelry, cutlery, plates, and furniture I was supposed to take with me."

The mention of Father paying for her to get married made Harry frown. If she wasn't mistaken, he seemed a bit angry. "One, no one except maybe Sirius picked up on that. Two, even if they did know, no one cares that you aren't a virgin. And three, you're not an object someone has to pawn off."

As his words started to sink in, Kamelia desperately tried to cling onto what she grew up hearing instead. "Good wives save themselv—"

"Good wives?" he repeated. " _Good wives,_ if there even is such a thing, love their husbands. That's all that matters. If you're with someone, you're supposed to love them no matter what. It's not a business deal, Kami. Or at least, it shouldn't be."

Kamelia turned away from him, wanting to say that he didn't understand, but this is what she wanted, isn't it? She didn't want a business deal. She wanted love. "Your friends will think I'm a whore. Your godfather—"

"Hates everything pureblood," Harry cut in. "And my friends don't know. Like I said, even if they did, they wouldn't care. I've walked in on Ron and Hermione a few times, and Ginny's had an entire Quidditch team… Er… Don't tell her I said that."

 _Because Granger has filthy Muggle blood,_ Kamelia wanted to say, but she couldn't really talk. "My dad called me a whore once."

"Because he's full of shit," Harry said fiercely. "And was too ignorant to realize that his words were far from the truth."

"He used to look at me like I was perfect," Kamelia found herself saying before bursting into tears, and Harry instantly pulled her into a hug. He wasn't like Father. Father thought she was wanton and wanted to throw it in Harry's face, thinking he'd leave her and she'd have no choice but to return. She had never been so thankful that her father was wrong.

* * *

Kami perked up when Malfoy came over. Harry was tempted to laugh when she flung herself at him and hugged him so tightly that he stumbled and squeaked slightly in shock at the affection. Instead of hugging her back, he handed her two keys when she broke away.

"One's your trust fund," he said dryly, "So don't be surprised if it's already been emptied… I didn't think you were smart enough to have a personal account."

Although his words were mean, Harry was reminded of when Ron and Ginny bickered. The only difference was that they were Malfoys, meaning they were crueler to each other. Kamelia was unaffected by her brother's words, probably because she could be ten times meaner without a second thought. "I can get new clothes!"

"By what little is in there…" Malfoy paused, editing his words because of Harry's presence. "I suggest you budget."

Kamelia laughed like the word "budget" was a ridiculous, crude swear word. "Why would I…? Oh…"

Malfoy glared at Harry as if it were his fault Kamelia couldn't go on an endless shopping spree. "I suggest you come home, Kami. It's not like Potter can afford—"

"You don't know what I can and can't afford," Harry butted in, forgetting that he promised himself that he wouldn't interfere when Hermione offered to write to Malfoy at lunch.

Malfoy raised his eyebrows. "So you're going to pay it? It would appease Father and the Notts."

From what he gathered from Kamelia's messages and how she spoke of him, she saw Malfoy was her one true ally besides Harry himself. His words made Harry's blood boil. "She's not an object. So I'm not paying for her. I'm not letting your father think she's something to be bought."

Malfoy laughed until he realized Harry was serious. Then, he turned to Kami, slightly annoyed. "He doesn't understand, Kami. He's not from our world—"

"I didn't say anything to you about Astoria!" Kamelia snapped in his defense.

Malfoy blinked. "Yes you did. Or you tried to."

"Well… I don't like Nott. Or Mummy's cousins in Paris before you suggest them. I love Harry." Kamelia frowned. "And maybe he's right. He shouldn't have to—"

"But he does." Malfoy rounded on Harry, who was trying to fade into the background as the argument got more heated. "Don't be stupid based on your morals, Potter. Appease them and they won't make your life a living hell."

After all he had been through, he wasn't about to let Lucius Malfoy push him around. Kamelia was not an object, and more importantly, he didn't want her to think he saw her as one or that she owed him anything. He wanted her to know that he was different. "You think I'm frightened of your father?"

With a shake of his head, Malfoy glanced at Kamelia worriedly. "You should be."

* * *

"Did you mean it?" Kamelia asked after dinner the following evening. They were walking through the greenhouse, which was full of dead plants and a few Remus managed to save after discovering Sirius's neglect of it. She tucked her arm in his as they walked, making Harry think he was on a date from a hundred years in the past. Sirius would love to play chaperone if offered the position. "When you said I shouldn't have to be paid for?"

"Of course." Was it really that foreign a concept?

Apparently it was because Kamelia's brows furrowed in deep thought. "My mother says a woman's worth is in what she can bring to her new family."

He really was on a date from a hundred years ago. Maybe more. He never realized that purebloods were so old fashioned. It was like they were living in a different time period while mixing with the real world at the same time. No wonder her thoughts were always so conflicting. "You're worth more than money. You're a human being, not cattle."

"Did you just call me a cow?" Kami turned to face him, eyes serious even though her lips twitched with the effort not to smile. "I don't want you to pay off my father like my brother wants you to. I didn't even sign the contract. I just… went along with it. I'm not going along with what they say anymore.

* * *

When Harry refused to answer, he thought Lucius would forget about the lawsuit or that maybe Draco had managed to convince him that it wasn't worth it. Although he didn't like to admit that his fame had its perks, he doubted that anyone would win a lawsuit against him. After defeating Voldemort, he was in the general public's and the Ministry's favor.

"What are you going to wear at your birthday dinner?" Kami asked about a week later. "I'm not one of those people who likes to match her boyfriend, but I also don't want to clash…"

Harry grinned, knowing that she was going to have a conniption at his response. "Jeans and a t-shirt."

"Those tents you call shirts?" she snapped. But then she smiled. "I'm taking you to my tailor."

"I'm taking you to a thrift store."

"What the bloody hell is a thrift store?" She soured when he started laughing and pulled her chair out a breakfast, something that always made her smile and always made Ginny gag.

"This isn't a fancy restaurant," Ginny muttered with an eye roll as she took a sip of her coffee.

Kami stuck her nose in the air. "It's called having manners." Then, she glanced sideways at Harry as he started tucking into his breakfast. "Maybe I'll get you to stop putting your elbows on the table next."

"You'd have to cut my elbows off first," he muttered as he started to butter his toast, smiling to himself as he firmly planted his elbows on the table. His victory was short lived however, because Sirius walked by and smacked him in the head with a rather thick letter.

At the sight of it, Kami stiffened, becoming as reserved as she was since the first letter had arrived. Sirius looked slightly annoyed and ignored the glare he received from Harry when his godson realized that he had opened it and read it. "You can't just ignore this Harry. You're going to have to get a lawyer. Bride theft—"

"Bride theft?" Harry repeated as he scanned the letters. Malfoy had added the charges of the wedding and reception. "She's not a thing to steal. She's a person who left on her own free will. I'm not paying it. It's 1999, not 1499."

"I know." Sirius sighed as he took a seat and started blindly piling his plate with food. "They're charging you for the loss. You're going to need a lawyer to properly tell them to shove it. Or they're going to keep adding things on until you're paying them off for the rest of your life."

Harry shrugged, not wanting to deal with something he considered so ridiculous and insulting. "He wants to have a meeting."

"Don't!" Kami spoke up, eyes wide with worry. "I don't want you to hear…"

How he talks about her. Harry clenched his jaw, suddenly wanting to put Malfoy in his place. "I'm going. I'm not going to let him push you around anymore, and he's certainly not going to do it to me."

Kami didn't answer him and silently poked at her food for the rest of the meal.

* * *

Sirius went with him the next day. To do what, Harry didn't know. The most Harry wanted to say was a big fat, "Fuck you." He didn't expect Mr. Nott to be there as well.

They met at a restaurant in Wiltshire that looked like a fancy version of the Leaky Cauldron. Harry glanced at Sirius, thinking this was getting stupider by the minute, but his godfather's face said that Sirius wasn't in the mood for snarky comments. Maybe he shouldn't have trusted that Sirius would be on his best behavior.

Harry sat down without being asked to, something he could tell annoyed Mr. Malfoy to no end. Good. Before Harry could even open his mouth, he said, "Give her back."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "She doesn't want to go back to you."

Malfoy and Nott glanced at each other like they thought Harry was a stupid kid. Mr. Nott informed him, "Give her back and if she is not carrying your bastard, we'll let this all go away, as if none of this happened. As the years pass, the embarrassment on our family will fade and—"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Harry blurted out before he could stop himself. Sirius squeezed his shoulder. Sirius of all people was trying to tell him to keep his temper in check. "She's a human being! I didn't take your fucking cow, Malfoy! I'm in love with your daughter, and she doesn't want me to buy her from you! I'm not going to sit around and listen to you talk about her like you're selling her to me!"

Malfoy stared, and for a moment, his expression became less guarded. For that split second, Harry thought he was going to see reason and drop the whole thing. Then, he said calmly, "Then we'll settle this matter with a duel."

Harry was so angry with him that he didn't hesitate to say, "You're on."

 **Thank you for the reviews rabradley09, noble helliom, PhoenixForYou, myafroatemydog, Guest, firstofhername, and gr8rockstarrox!**

 **Sorry for the wait! Think Lucius was throwing a bit of an olive branch for Harry? I've been listening to the** _ **Hamilton**_ **soundtrack lately, and the duel will be styled kind of like the duels in the musical. :)**


	11. I'm Part of the Cycle

**Harry Potter isn't mine.**

 **Hey guys! I finished school, so now I can come back. Can't go to work either… Anyway, I hope the long chapter makes up for the wait! I have some Black family history here, but if you aren't interested, you can skip the scenes in italics. I will say it gets rather juicy though. :P And I suppose warnings for domestic abuse and child marriage in the flashbacks.**

Chapter 11 I'm Part of the Cycle

"What the fuck?" Sirius hissed as Malfoy and Nott left. "I thought you were going to tell them to shove it in court!"

Harry frowned. He had no plans to take it to court. Kami's secrets would be dragged out, humiliating her or worse, making her feel like her father's insults were correct. He had hoped to be alone with Mr. Malfoy. That's why he came. He wanted to tell him how wrong he was… He didn't know exactly what he had expected to come out of this. All he knew was that he was angry. Kami's parents, the ones who were supposed to love her unconditionally, spoke of her as if she were an object to be bought.

"I wouldn't do that to her," Harry mumbled. "You saw how embarrassed she was—"

"And she has to get over that," Sirius snapped. "I would never tell anyone of course. But… She shouldn't be brought to tears over something so trivial, or she won't make it in the real world."

Harry glared at him but for Kami's privacy, did not go any further. "You don't know what you're talking about, Sirius."

* * *

Kamelia fretted about Black's sitting room like a fussy peacock eager to be back in the stables. She didn't know what to expect. Fantasy got the best of her, and she half hoped that both Harry and Father would come through the fireplace. Father would see how much Harry loved her, and since he too loved her, he would have wanted to see her immediately. He would apologize, and she could come home. She and Harry would have a proper courtship, only better. There wouldn't a contract. There would be no requests to have a healer prove her fertile.

But Harry returned without Father, looking grim, and if she wasn't mistaken, a little regretful. Her eyes were glued to his, waiting for him to say something, anything. His pause made her wonder if he wanted to send her back, thinking that she wasn't worth the trouble.

"So…" Harry paused again, making Kami's heart flutter nervously. Black was glaring at him. "I may… I may have lost my temper."

Ginny snorted from the Quidditch play she was studying and revising. "Big surprise there."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Can't you do that in your room?"

Unaffected by his disapproval, Ginny shrugged and made no move to leave. "I could. But I don't want to. Your life is rather entertaining. In fact, if you were to write some autobiographies—"

"Ginny!"

"I would read the shit out of them—"

"GINNY!"

"Fine, fine." With a smirk, Ginny scooped up her belongings, winking at Kami. "Two galleons says he's done something rash." She laughed and ran for the stairs as Harry threw a couch cushion at her.

Black stormily started pacing behind him, and all Kami could think of was how he was probably thinking she was more trouble than she was worth. Harry rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I told Malfoy that I'm not paying…"

"And?" Kami said nervously.

"And…" Harry ignored the dark look from Black and babbled quickly, "He challenged me to a duel, andIaccepted."

The last bit was such a jumbled mess that at first, Kami didn't understand it. "Huh?"

"Harry's decided to take part in a pissing contest," Black snapped.

Kami licked her lips nervously. A duel could mean a lot of things. A pissing contest as Black said, but it would also be Father trying to intimidate Harry, or… "What… Why did he…?"

"I told him that I love you and wasn't going to buy you," Harry said honestly. His eyes flickered with fear at her reaction. "At first I thought he was going to agree. But then he said that."

Black laughed. A bark-like sound that made Kami jump as if he was going to bite her. "Like he knows the meaning of to the word love! You heard how Nott was talking about her! Good ole Lucius didn't even bat an eye!"

"Mr. Nott was there?" Kami dared to get hopeful. Father couldn't agree with Harry with Mr. Nott there, but maybe, just maybe, he did. With a duel, everything could be over and done with. Nott would back off, knowing that Father had tried, and Father wouldn't have to drag her name through the mud.

Harry rolled his eyes, not understanding. "Yeah. Was ready to rope you up and drag you back to his house."

"Referring to me as livestock again, Potter?" Kami couldn't resist muttering as she thought, or more accurately hoped. Father had to want her. He had to. "So… what are you going to do?"

"Stay home and act like nothing happened," Black said, daring Harry to say otherwise. "There's no point—"

"I'm not letting him think I'm scared of him," Harry snapped. "He's no Voldemort."

Kami tried not to flinch at the word, but holding it in made her eye twitch in a rather ugly way. If Mother was here, she would have narrowed her eyes at her. Proper ladies didn't make ugly faces. They only laughed or smiled prettily or they didn't react at all, especially at something so minor as vulgarity.

"You're not invincible, Harry," Black said. He loved his godson, so much that he was constantly worrying about him. That much was clear in the short time Kami had lived with them. "Slip ups happen and…"

He couldn't even bring himself to finish. Kami started playing with her hair nervously. She had to at least try to make it right. This was all her fault after all. "I'll go in your place!"

It was the perfect plan, in her opinion. Father wouldn't fight her or if he did, he certainly wouldn't do anything actually harmful and would let her win. Everything would probably be over within five minutes. There was only one problem.

"I'm not a coward," Harry said with a frown. Even Black didn't like the sound of it. Because they were Gryffindors. Stupid Gryffindors.

"But…" She could practically hear Draco's voice in her head, laughing and calling her naïve. _Girls don't duel._ He used to laugh at her when they were kids. When they were bickering, she would point her wand at him, and he'd just laugh and laugh and laugh. Just because she was a girl doesn't mean she wasn't skilled with her wand. _No,_ he would say, _its because you sleep through Defense._ Not true! "Then I'll be your second."

"My what?" Harry said.

"Oh God!" Black slapped his forehead.

He must have never been in a proper duel… No wonder Black was so panicked. "Your second," Kami repeated. "If you get… incapacitated." Black made a strangled noise. "I want to fight for myself. Or, at least show them that I'm willing to."

Black seemed ready to tear his hair out, but Harry seemed to like the sound of it, so she sent her parents a formal letter to let them know. That only lead to Draco coming for a visit. Oh joy.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing?" he hissed, coming through the floo uninvited. How improper. "You're only making things worse."

There was an unspoken _as usual_ that made Kami frown. Black was hovering in the background, as per usual the past few days. She was just reading, minding her own business. There wasn't much else to do, now that Harry was getting ready for school. "They won't—"

"Yes, they will," Draco said flatly. He looked over his shoulder, seeing that Harry had come downstairs to see what all the fuss was about. After a brief moment of hesitation, he plowed on. "Just come home, Kamelia. Mother and Father want you home and—"

"And this is how I'm going to get home," she said. "And I'll still get to be with Harry. Things will just be proper."

Draco rolled his eyes. Ever since… Well ever since he found out, he wasn't too fond of Mother and Father. "Just do what I do. Ignore them. Ignore the comments, the insults, the attempts at match making. They aren't going to accept him. Ever. This little duel is just to get Nott off Father's back. And… Mother said she wants back the tea set she was going to give you."

"Grandma's tea set?" Kami couldn't resist squeaking. Draco glared at her, but that tea set was _gorgeous_. "Well, _I_ am not giving up on them. Unlike you."

"You can't duel."

"I can!"

"About as much as an infant with a nappy full of shit."

Harry's eyes ping ponged back and forth as they bickered. He probably never saw anything like it. The Weasleys were disgustingly kind to each other, only occasionally teasing one another. Although Kami and Draco were close, they could also be at each other's throat on occasion. He looked somewhat concerned when they started insulting each other in French.

"Er…" He frowned, not knowing what to say.

Draco narrowed his eyes at Harry. "No matter what you do, my father's going to find some way to make it blow up in your face, and since you let my sister be your second, you're going to get her hurt in the process." Then, he turned to Kami. "À plus tard. Ton cul."

"Lécher le cul," Kami spat. Draco only rolled his eyes and left. The prick.

"That was… interesting…" Harry said, waiting for her to explain. What was there to explain? Draco was an asshole who needed to mind his own damn business. Kami didn't answer. All she wanted to do was pout… and tell her mother. Or her grandmother. Someone how would admonish her brother and tell her that she was right and he was wrong. "He, er, has always been protective of you."

"Because I'm a girl," she mumbled. But she could do this. She was much stronger than they thought. They would see. They had to.

* * *

 _1967_

 _Her parents were arguing about her_ _ **again**_ _. Not that Andromeda cared. They could argue all they wanted. It wouldn't change the fact that she had her own free will._

 _"You're going out again," Bellatrix accused. Twelve-year-old Narcissa was standing behind her, fearfully listening but not daring to put her two-sense in._

 _Andromeda shrugged and pulled her dyed pink hair into a ponytail. It was dyed the_ _ **Muggle**_ _way. Potions couldn't get rid of it. "I'm just havin' some fun! Relax Bella!"_

 _"Everyone thinks you're sleepin' aroun'!" Bellatrix snapped. At Andromeda's laugh, she turned bright red. "You're going to ruin your marriage prospects!"_

 _She had been spending her summer evenings flirting with a Muggleborn who worked in a Muggle coffee shop. Nothing scandalous had happened at all. But tonight… Tonight he was taking her dancing. Andromeda wasn't about to stay home just because Mummy and Daddy didn't approve. He was_ _ **perfect**_ _. "Don't you worry your simple little head, sister."_

 _Narcissa's eyes widened in horror when she pinched Bellatrix's cheek. The eldest sister took out her wand, but Andromeda was already out the door, laughing at her. Her hex left scorch marks on the door that Mummy still complained about (and blamed on Andromeda) to this day._

 _Andromeda was fifteen, almost sixteen, and honestly, didn't give two shits about what her parents thought. She was over the moon in love with Ted Tonks, and there was nothing anyone could do or say about it. Not even her betrothed, Rodolphus Lestrange._

 _"You're embarrassing me," he said when school started._

 _"Am I?" she said lightly. They were at the library, and despite her parents' protests, her hair was still pink, her legs were still covered in jeans instead of a dress, and she was currently sporting a nose ring._

 _With an iron-like grip, Rodolphus squeezed her arm so hard she'd surely bruise and spun her around. "Stay away from the Mudblood, Meda."_

 _Andromeda's gaze was blank and cold. She wasn't afraid of anyone. "Then you stay away from the second years, you—"_

 _His hand was at her throat, not tightly, but still there. A threat that she theorized he was too much of a coward to carry out. "I'll not take this from my future wife."_

 _There is was. Andromeda waited patiently. He was going to break their betrothment and tell everyone that she was a cheating whore. Then, no pureblood would go near her, and she'd be free to run off with Ted. …She wasn't placed in Slytherin for nothing._

 _Rodolphus saw her lips twitch with the effort not to smile mockingly. He only smirked, released her, and left._

 _Daddy had come to Hogwarts in February. He_ _ **never**_ _came to Hogwarts to see them. He had no concern about their education, and Andromeda wasn't sure if he even knew that they knew how to read. She certainly had never gotten a letter from him, only from Mummy. And Mummy's letters were usually only full of pleas for her to behave._

 _"Daddy!" Narcissa loved him with all her heart and was practically jumping for joy upon seeing him in the Great Hall. "You'll never guess what I managed to brew today—"_

 _"I'm not here to see you." Daddy grabbed Andromeda by her arm and started dragging her away. Bellatrix smirked but kept her head down and tucked into her dinner._

 _Andromeda was silent as she was taken to a private alcove. She knew she was in trouble. She was always in trouble. He started off with, "You're a damned disappointment."_

 _"Thank you," Andromeda couldn't help snarking. That earned her a slap on the cheek._

 _"I'm not putting up with it anymore," he said coldly. "You're getting married to Rodolphus this Thursday."_

 _"What?!" She was only sixteen…_

 _"It's the only day I could clear my schedule." He rubbed his chin, looking annoyed, like it was her fault he decided to marry her off at an inconvenient time. "Rodolphus will straighten this-this abnormality out of you. Or at least get a son on you to calm you down."_

 _Andromeda narrowed her eyes. Daddy thought that Rodolphus either beat her into submission or get her up the duff. Good fucking luck. "Yes, Father."_

 _Thursday came sooner than she thought, and despite her bravado, Andromeda was feeling more and more trapped with every day that had passed. She had nowhere to go, no money. Hell, she didn't think she was even old enough to get a job to support herself. All she knew was that she wouldn't back down._

 _That evening, Mummy silently tightened Andromeda's corset. Mummy was always silent, except when she was standing up to Daddy for her daughters. All that usually got her was a punch in the mouth. Bellatrix was too blunt, Andromeda was too wild, and Narcissa was too clingy. He might as well have said the truth. Bellatrix wasn't a son, Andromeda wasn't a son, and Narcissa wasn't a son._

 _"It'll be alright, my little chick," she said quietly._

 _"Oh it will be," Andromeda said. Either she was getting out of this or Rodolphus would have an unfortunate accident tonight. Somehow, his balls will end up ripped off and up his own ass._

 _The marriage contract was at the altar, waiting for her signature._ _ **Her**_ _signature. Andromeda stared at it as she half listened to the priest recite the vows. She had to sign it. Father had already signed it, but_ _ **she**_ _had to sign it. They were all acting like she had no choice, and for the longest time, she actually believed it. But she had to sign it. She had to sign the bloody thing or there would be no marriage!_

 _Before she could stop herself, Andromeda started laughing in Rodolphus's face. He blinked in surprise, but Andromeda only stopped laughing when she said with a giggle, "Go to hell!"_

 _There was a collective gasp. All her sheep minded family was in shock. They thought she had no choice. They really thought she had no choice!_

 _Andromeda started laughing once more as she started to run. She was that giddy that she couldn't stop laughing. Did they really think she was going to go through with this if she didn't have to?_

 _She only stopped running when she started to pass the ever-sullen Sirius. With a smile, she tilted his chin up and winked at him, laughing again when she dodged a stunner. Sirius's eyes widened as she hexed Bellatrix and started running again. Her laughter echoed the church as she slammed the door behind her._

 _Ted's family took her in, and she was happy ever since._

And then they were gone, leaving Andy only with her memories. With a sigh, she flooed to Sirius's. He was trying to pawn Narcissa's daughter off on her, insisting that it would do both the girl and herself some good. Andy doubted it. No one could replace Ted and her Dora.

Her eyes. When they widened, they looked just like Dora's when she got caught doing something naughty. She was practically a Narcissa clone, but… there was a tiny bit of Dora in there. Just a smidge. And that smidge made Andy love her with all her heart.

* * *

"I'm sorry!" For a fleeting moment, Kami thought she was face to face with Bellatrix. At the sight of her, she shot out of her seat on at the dinner table and started backing towards the stairs. "I'm sorry! I—"

Harry put a hand on her arm, and she was back to reality. Aunt Bellatrix didn't have streaks of grey in her hair, and Aunt Bellatrix never looked sullen. Never. The woman held out her hand, but Kami was too afraid to take it. "Andromeda Tonks, fellow family black sheep, at your service."

" _You're_ …" All the mean things Kami heard growing up died on her lips. For once, she managed to keep her mouth shut.

"Your aunt," Andromeda said lightly. "Sirius said you need a place to stay."

"What?" Harry turned to Black, who said nothing but held his godson's gaze.

"Well…" Black thinned his lips almost guiltily. "You-you shouldn't live with someone before even going on one date…"

Kami felt her face color at the accusation of impropriety. At the sight of Harry's boiling in anger, Andromeda's mouth opened in outrage. "Sirius Black! You made it seem like they both knew I was coming!"

Black grinned sheepishly. "She… She wants to go home, so I figured she wanted to live somewhere else… Anyway, want some pizza, Andy?"

"You-you are worse than any mother-in-law!" Andromeda… her aunt, stuttered. "I thought…" Then, she lowered her voice as if no one would be able to hear her. "I'm going to fucking kill you, Sirius!"

"Get in line," Harry growled.

"Well-well…" Black had the decency to color slightly but that was it. He was so fiercely protective of Harry that he was able to plough through any guilt or second thoughts. "You've hated her since, well since before I knew you! And now you want to risk your life—"

"I may have jumped the gun a bit," Harry said.

"A bit?!"

Harry glared at Black while Kami felt her heart sinking lower and lower. "But how is that her fault? It was my decision! She wasn't even there!"

"Because you did it for her," Black said, voice rising. "You barely know her and because she's here without even so much as her own clothes, she's completely dependent on you. And you know how you get when you think you have to take care of someone."

"Sirius," Andromeda hissed.

"Oh sorry, Padfoot," Harry snapped. "I didn't realize that giving someone a fucking toothbrush was that big of a deal! I'll consult you next time. Maybe get an accountant too! Hey, Ron's socks have a lot of holes in them. Can I get him a pair next time I'm at the store? Please? I promise I won't put my life in danger this time!"

"I…" Kami wanted to say that she could take care of herself just fine. She wanted to show Black that she wasn't 'completely dependent' on Harry, but… she couldn't. Not really. She had nothing. Even most of her life, she had no ambitions besides being some rich guy's housewife, despite her grandmother's dreams for her to go to college. She always thought she'd be completely dependent on a man and used to be perfectly okay with it. Now… she felt nothing but shame.

"So you want to send her away?" Harry continued. "Because you were the one to push me to open her letter. And you wanted me to go after her. And now you want to send her away because you don't like a decision that I and I alone made?"

"Maybe…" Black was grasping for straws, face to face with Harry's growing Potter temper. "Maybe if she learned to live on her own, the two of you would be better off. There'd be more of a normalcy."

"You know I hate that word," Harry muttered. He rose from his seat and slammed it against the table instead of pushing it in. "Whatever, Sirius, have your little Control Harry's Life Pizza Party. Talk to me when you're ready to stop treating me like a kid."

* * *

"I don't think he meant any harm," Kami fretted once they were upstairs. Harry was sure she felt lower than a slug, especially since she trailed after him as he stormed off. Because she had nowhere else to go. There was no one in the house besides him who she felt close to. The closest thing she had to a friend here was Ginny, whose mocking jokes only seemed to confuse or horrify her.

Harry kicked a textbook for one of his upcoming classes that had come in the mail. He and Ron were sharing, and somehow, after Hermione told them to get a head start on reading, it ended up on the floor. "No. He just wants to control every aspect of my life until he can figure out how to put me in a plastic bubble to live in."

"My dad…" Kami bit her lip as Harry soured further at the mere mention of her dad. "Well, I mean, you know Black loves you. I think that's very important."

"That doesn't excuse his meddling," Harry muttered. His dream was to live with Sirius and Remus, a proper family, but now…

"I guess not, but he's your dad." Kami shrugged not knowing what else to say. When he pictured family, he pictured the Weasleys, happy, playful bickering… Sirius was just Molly Weasley times ten. "Your other girlfriend says to prove him wrong."

"Other girlfriend?" Harry smirked as Kami struggled to keep a straight face. "The thought of so much as holding Ginny's hand makes me want to projectile vomit."

That seemed to be the right answer because Kami grinned. "I think… I do agree that I need to find something for me. And I do agree that I shouldn't be so dependent, but… I don't know what that something is yet."

"You mean you don't have your whole life planned out? Sirius was right…" Harry smiled slightly and grabbed her hands as she frowned despite his sarcasm. "It's alright. Sirius is a prat. So don't blame yourself if we don't talk for a while."

"He's your dad." Kami was so desperate for her own father's approval that she didn't get why Harry wasn't bending over backwards for Sirius's. She would never admit it, but he knew she wanted Sirius to like her.

"So we'll get through it," Harry said, knowing it was true no matter how pissed off he was at Sirius right now.

Kami grinned. "With my help of course!"

"Oh boy…"

* * *

Part one of proving Sirius wrong was going on a date. Harry didn't know how this was part one of "The Plan," but he just went with it. He and Kami hadn't gone out on an actual date without Sirius breathing down his neck, so he was looking forward to it. They were at the recently reopened Florean Fortescue's, and Harry was half surprised that Ron hadn't cleared the place out within days after it reopened.

"Just plain vanilla?" he teased as Kami put a small spoonful in her mouth.

She eyed his Chocolate Chili and Butterbeer ice cream. "Sorry. I'm not an animal."

"Just an old lady." He grinned at the dirty look she gave him. "So, what is your grand master plan to make Sirius not be a prat anymore?"

"You said that he wants to learn how to play the piano." She smiled superiorly and held out her hands as if to say it was obvious. "So I'll teach him, and he'll see how talented and patient I am—"

"Patient?" Harry raised his eyebrows. "You're forgetting one thing, love. Sirius is probably the worst student in the world, who enjoys pushing buttons and starting fights, especially with Slytherins."

Kami opened her mouth to respond, but the familiar clacking of heels made Harry cringe. Now that the War was over, Rita Skeeter seemed to have forgotten about Hermione's threat to expose her as an unregistered animagus.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" she gushed. Kami frowned, only vaguely recognizing her. Skeeter wasn't much of a fixture in her life, although Harry was sure she'd know the reporter, if she could be called that, by name. "Harry Potter, the Chosen One, our Savior, is out on a date with someone who is not Ginny Weasley?!"

"Not Ginny Weasley, that's my name." Kami grinned as she caught on and stared at Skeeters ever moving quill. She clearly didn't get that ignoring Skeeter was the best course of action. Then, she would only have what she saw to embellish, not their words as well.

"Oh no, I _know_ you," Skeeter simpered. "Draco Malfoy's sister." She glanced at Kami's arm to look for the Mark, causing Harry to pick up his ice cream and gesture for Kami to do the same. They could apparate to a Muggle park and finish there. "Star crossed lovers. How romantic. Your families must absolutely be torn apart. I heard about the…" She shook her head at the quill and said to it, "We'll add that in later."

Harry rolled his eyes and said, "We really must be going."

"No! Wait!" Skeeter smiled in a shark like way that made Harry's skin crawl. "Tell me how the love—no!" The quill scratched out the word _love_. " _Passion_ came to be."

"Are you blind?" Kami seemed to think it was a game, a joke that they could laugh about later. She had no idea how embarrassing Skeeter was. No, she didn't because she was too busy laughing at him his fourth year to realize. She flicked her hair back as she rose from her seat and picked up her ice cream. "I mean, look at me."

Harry gritted his teeth. "Yes. I've always had a thing for trolls."

Kami grinned in delight, but before she could continue the conversation, Harry grabbed her arm and apparated. The only reaction she had to appearing in a park in London was blinking in surprise and muttering, "Rude. No wonder the press doesn't like you."

Harry glared at her as they started eating and walking. "And tomorrow there's going to be a story about how I left Ginny after cheating on her with you. Oh, and I'm sure there's going to be speculation about my troll fetish."

" _That_ …" Kami pointed at him with her spoon. "… was entirely your doing."

"Well…" Harry took a deep breath, not entirely comfortable airing his grievances with her. But… she seemed to think this funny when it wasn't. "I'd prefer it if you don't interact with the press. Her in particular."

"Oh, sorry. I'm not used to being ridiculously famous like you." She smiled, not knowing he was annoyed until the silence became tense. "I mean… okay."

"You care so much what people think of you and… What you said made me come off as superficial," he went on awkwardly. "I, er, don't want people to think that."

Kami snorted, not quite getting it. "Like you would be the slightest bit interested in me if I looked like Millicent Bulstrode."

"Yeah, I would," Harry said seriously, souring further when she laughed yet again. "Is that really so…"

"Preposterous? Yes." She frowned, finally picking up on how much her words were bothering him. "It's basic human instinct."

"So if I looked like Crabbe than you'd have no interest in me?" Harry never found himself particularly attractive, so her words were all the more worrisome.

"Well, I would because…" She smiled slightly. "Because you're kind and funny and… perhaps I meant basic male instinct."

"Perhaps your parroting back what your parents told their beautiful daughter," he grumbled. "… You're more to me than the way you look. As hard as it is to believe, you know, considering that I professed my feelings to you without ever meeting you face to face."

"I know but I never thought…" She stopped talking and stared at him, confusion clear on her face. "I never thought anyone could see me for me, I guess. Never mind. That sounds stupid. I never thought—"

"No. It doesn't." Before Harry could continue, Kami dropped her ice cream and nearly toppled him over. She kissed him slowly but also fiercely, pressing her body against his and clinging to him like she never wanted to let go. Perhaps Sirius was right. This dating thing wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

"Ready to go, Sirius?" Harry asked tersely. Things were still tense with them, but Kami, being the busy body that she was, was eager to get started on fixing up the music room at Potter Manor.

Sirius, as usual, was struggling to wake up since it was before noon. He seemed extra grumpy, and in typical Sirius Black fashion, was making no attempts to hide it. "Look what Ginny taped to my mirror."

The morning's issue of _The Prophet._ Rita Skeeter must have made a lucky guess of where they had apparated to. He probably shouldn't have chosen the nearest park… Harry turned scarlet when he saw the picture of him and Kami kissed. He didn't realize he had been so… _handsy_. Her breasts were pressed against his chest and his hands slowly lowered to her bottom. When he heard Kami rushing down the stairs, he hastily crumbled up the newspaper and shoved it into his pocket. The last thing he wanted to do was embarrass her when she was trying to impress Sirius.

"Are you ready?" She smiled but seemed a bit breathless with nerves. And by God, she must be trying because she was wearing a pair of Ginny's _sweatpants_. Kamelia Malfoy was wearing sweatpants.

Harry glanced at Sirius, who scowled and nodded as if he were going to battle. Things were definitely still tense between them, but he was hoping his godfather would make more of an effort. Remus, who would probably always be his conscious, casually threw a piece of toast at his head, not even bothering to look up from his edition of _The Quibbler._ Sirius howled dramatically but was unharmed.

With a sigh, Harry said, "Alright… Let's go."

* * *

"A lot of these instruments just need some tuning," Kami said. There was a tightness in her chest, but she ploughed through. She couldn't stand it when people didn't like her, and usually, she avoided those who didn't like the plague. Those who mattered anyway, and Sirius Black certainly mattered, but there was no avoiding him, as he was one of the most important people in Harry's life.

Black was looking longingly at the old piano, making Kami wish she had Draco's talent. She knew a few simple songs though, and perhaps that could get them started. She just needed to take a look inside to see if she could fix it.

"My father taught me how to tune and care for all the instruments at home," she boasted, reminding her of her brother as she opened up the piano. "He said the house elves couldn't be trusted with something so important."

"You mean your father actually lifted a finger and worked on something?" Black said dryly. Harry, who was busying himself magically clearing all the dust, growled to himself. Black ignored him.

Kami bit her lip, not knowing what to say. "He liked teaching me things my grandmother couldn't…"

As soon as she completely opened the piano, she was face to face with her boggart.

* * *

 _1968_

 _Even though her seventeenth birthday was still months away, Bellatrix knew what was important in life. The pureblood race must be continued and one day, they had to figure out how to get rid of the ever-encroaching Muggles and blood traitors. She had never thought much about blood traitors really, not until her sister made a spectacle and ran from her own wedding._

 _Bellatrix didn't get it. Roldophus was perfect. He was pureblood, his family's heir, and rather easy on the eyes. To Bellatrix, that was all that mattered. Her betrothed, her mother's cousin's son, looked like a house elf in a wig. Her betrothed wasn't particularly interested in her either, so they had yet to bother to finalize her dowry or the marriage contract._

 _And so, Bellatrix saw an opportunity when Father, having no shame as usual, demanded Andromeda's dowry back, and Rodolphus's father refused, stating that it was Father's fault for letting Meda run off. Mother cowered in the background as usual, although a little straighter, as if a tiny weight was lifted off her bony, weak shoulders._

 _"Or," Bellatrix interjected smoothly, "I could take her place."_

 _Both men stared at her, not used to a female interjecting. Well, the better get used to it. Bellatrix was almost a woman, and she was nothing like Mummy. She was just as strong as any man and just as ruthless too._

 _"You do have plenty of daughters to spare," Rodolphus's father said mockingly, as if it was an insult. And it was. Father colored with shame._

 _Rodolphus smiled, liked the idea too. Excellent. "I want the younger one."_

 _"No," Mother said lowly, as if she stood any chance in fighting them off. Her mother was weak, downtrodden, and pathetic. No wonder she was only able to give Father daughters. Narcissa, little, stupid Narcissa, shook slightly as her eyes ping ponged between the arguing adults._

 _"Why would you want that little cow?" Bellatrix asked lightly. "She's ugly and sure to get fat in her adult years, considering her love for sweets. And you should see how pimply her face gets in the spring."_

 _Narcissa whimpered slightly, but Bellatrix didn't care. Later, she would learn that her words had given her sister a bit of a complex for years to come, but she still didn't feel guilty. She wanted something, and she wasn't going to let her sister have it._

 _"And I would be willing to marry you now," Bellatrix went on. "Marrying Narcissa wouldn't be legal for another year. And you'll graduate this year and be away from her. She practically drools at the sight of Lucius Malfoy. The little slut. I, however, am one of the most loyal people you will ever meet."_

 _"Your mother wants you settled," Rodolphus's father grunted. "She says you're too wild. You're a promising young man, and your preferences are getting you into trouble."_

 _Bellatrix didn't know what his_ _ **preferences**_ _were, but honestly didn't care. There was a prize before her that she wasn't going to give up. "Narcissa can barely settle her hair in the morning. You need someone who is ready to be a wife, someone who isn't afraid to fight for you, and is worthy of you. Someone like me."_

 _Roldophus smirked slightly and shrugged like he didn't care. "Alright."_

 _And Roldophus had come to adore her. A few years later, Nymphadora was born, and Bellatrix was absolutely beside herself._

" _Oh!" she wailed as the midwife had handed her the pink squealing sprog. It had taken years to conceive and now this. Father hated Mother for only giving her daughters, and Bellatrix was proving just as inadequate. "I really thought it was a boy! I am so sorry—"_

" _No." He smiled in a way that confused her slightly. "Girls are perfect."_

" _Really?" Bellatrix sniffed._ _ **She**_ _was female after all, and she was just as good as any man. Her husband was right._

" _I wouldn't care if you gave me a hundred daughters," he said happily. "I'd rather you, in fact. And look!"_

 _Nymphadora's hair was changing colors. Pink, green, red, blue. Bellatrix gasped in surprise and snuggled the baby against her breast. From that moment on, she had loved her daughter so fiercely that she thought she might lose her mind._

 _Less than a year later, there was a raid on the Manor. Bellatrix thought it was because of their support for the Dark Lord, but it wasn't. They had come to take Nymphadora away._

 _"What are you doing?" Bellatrix screamed as Nymphadora was ripped from her arms. Her beloved baby immediately started crying. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"_

 _Rodolphus was being arrested, making Bellatrix all the more frantic. A solemn auror handed her a document that Bellatrix didn't even bother to read. "Your husband has been accused of molesting his students."  
"What?" Bellatrix spat. Her husband taught Latin to pureblood children in his spare time._

 _"We're taking your daughter until we can assure you weren't involved," he said flatly._

 _"You're LYING!" Bellatrix screamed, raising her wand to the aurors. She nearly killed one of them, assuring that she'd never get her daughter back._

 _That barren bitch Andromeda took her._

 _Two years later, Rodolphus was released from Azkaban. Bellatrix didn't bother to pick him up. Something inside her cracked that day. Something that she couldn't seem to fix._

 _They ate dinner silently. Bellatrix chewed and swallowed but didn't taste anything. The Dark Lord said he'd help her get her Nymphadora back. He promised. She just had to serve him. She would do whatever he wanted._

 _And that included sharing a bed. He whispered promises in her ears. Once they won the War, she could kill Rodolphus, get Nymphadora back, and they would marry. They would be a family. For now, they needed all the soldiers they could get. Still, there was one thing she needed to know. It would make killing him all the more sweeter._

 _"What did you mean," she asked quietly, "when you said you'd rather have daughters than son?" Rodolphus remained silent. "TELL ME!"_

 _He stared at her, not really caring. Did he ever love her? Was he capable? "You already know the answer."_

 _Bellatrix's eyes welled up, but she wouldn't let any tears escape. She said through clenched teeth, "I will never give you another child."_

 _Rodolphus regarded her coolly. "I'm a soldier for the Dark Lord. Not to worry, Pet. I'll have plenty of other opportunities to whet my appetites."_

 _Bellatrix looked down at her plate, knowing she must eventually pretend to forgive him for the Dark Lord. She got up and went to bed, crying until a few hours later when he sank in next to her. His hand lightly traced her curves, and she turned to stare at him. He lifted her night gown without asking, and Bellatrix didn't bother to fight him off. She'd get her revenge soon enough._

 _For now, another part of her mind cracked._

 _She had just given birth to Delphine, who looked so much like Nymphadora that her heart broke at the sight of her. The War was finally ending, and after nearly twenty-five years, she could finally enact her plan. And she'd kill him right in front of that cotton headed little slut that Narcissa had whelped sixteen years ago._

 _Now, all she had to do was secure victory for the Dark Lord. Bellatrix laughed crazily. It was finally going to happen. She was going to have a family._

 _A hex had hurtled her into the castle walls. Bellatrix blinked the stars out of her eyes and found herself face to face with her beloved Nymphadora. All she had to do was capture her. Capture her and teach her right from wrong. Then, she'd be her perfect little baby again._

 _"I know who you are," Nymphadora said firmly. Bellatrix pushed herself up, feeling hopeful. Stupid Andromeda had told her daughter the truth, that she stole her. This would make things so much easier. "I know who you are, and I still hate you. You are not my mother. You are nothing more than the embodiment of evil. You are_ _ **nothing**_ _."_

 _ **You are not my mother.**_ _The words caused a ringing in Bellatrix's ears. The words made her mind crack so largely and deeply that she had lost her entire grip on reality. Time seemed to slow as Nymphadora raised her wind to stun her. Bellatrix barely noticed the words escape from her lips. "_ _ **Avada Kedavra!**_ _"_

 _Nymphadora fell to the ground with a surprised look in her eyes. Breathlessly, with tears running down her cheeks, Bellatrix bent over and closed her eyes, making it look like she was sleeping. It was the first time she had touched her daughter in almost twenty-five years._

 _As Bellatrix walked away, she started laughing. Andromeda had ruined her daughter. Yes, she did. Stupid barren bitch. Good thing she had another. Still, she'd have to kill Andromeda once the Potter boy was dead._

 _There was a crash, and the Weasley daughter ran past her. The Weasley_ _ **daughter**_ _._ _ **Crack.**_

 _If she couldn't have a daughter, no one could._

 _"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!"_

 _After that, Bellatrix was stuck in a swirl of painful memories. Every once and a while she'd run into Nymphadora, but she'd always be just out of her grasp, torturing her by intensifying her desperation to have her back._

 _But now, something was pulling her back to the world of the living. It was temporary, but Bellatrix was rather intrigued. What was giving her reprieve from her miserable existence?_

Kami's mouth went dry as black, smokey clouds started solidifying into Bellatrix's billowing black hair. Crazy, eager eyes fell on hers. Bellatrix was smiling at her before she knew it.

"Oooh," she cooed lightly. "It's little Kami." Her dark eyes turned to Harry, and she instantly know. "Is that your biggest fear, my love? You don't want wittle baby Potter to know what you are? Do you remember that time my darling husband shoved you under our bed? You thought I didn't see you taking it up ass like a common whore."

"You didn't," Kami said thickly. She shook her head, not knowing what else to do. "I—"

"You will always be like this, little lady," Bellatrix said lightly. "Because he'll leave you and you'll spend the rest of your life jumping from bed to bed, bottle to bottle. And then you'll die and be with **me.** "

Kami shook her head as Bellatrix held her arms out to her. This couldn't be happened. She was dead. She had to be dead.

"Hey!" The spell was broken when Black ran in front of her. Bellatrix was replaced with the image of Harry's dead body. Bile rose up her throat, but she didn't move. She couldn't. Black's eyes were on her, studying her as if she were an animal at the zoo. A dirty, disgusting animal.

" _Riddikulus!_ " The body became an odd-looking balloon animal, but no one laughed. Kami felt her body go numb as the boggart twitched, searching for another victim.

"I…" Her throat felt like burning paper. "I need to leave… and shower…"

She had to get ready. The duel was tomorrow.

* * *

Kami took a two-hour shower when they got home, and Harry didn't know if he should talk to her after that. She secluded herself in the room she shared with Ginny. But then, she came down the stairs the next morning acting like nothing happened. In fact, she seemed rather chipper.

"Good morning!" she chirped. "Are you ready to get this over with?"

The duel. He was in fact. Then, he could talk to her. Sirius eyed her warily but said nothing. Kami didn't seem to notice.

"Let's go!" She clumsily walked into the table as they headed for the fireplace.

* * *

Harry figured this was supposed to be serious and dramatic, but now that it was happening, he felt rather awkward. No one spoke. Malfoy took one look at Kami and scowled as he led them to what Harry supposed was a cleared-out ballroom.

"You're stupid," he muttered. Kami only hummed happily, causing Harry to have an odd feeling in his chest. What was up to her?

Still, Harry was determined to get this over with. It was like a cloud looming over him, much like one of McGonagall's tests. He highly doubted that Mr. Malfoy would actually try to kill him, considering that the War was over and that he had very much lost. Sirius thought otherwise, however, and was at Harry's heels as a dog, meaning he didn't trust himself to stay human for this encounter.

Mr. Nott was there, and Harry was surprised that Theo Nott wasn't. If he really cared about his broken-up wedding, one would think that he would have showed. Alright… Now what?

"Stand there, and I'll count to ten after the seconds attempt to settle this." Malfoy's voice was dripping with impatience, as if Harry was stupid and being so on purpose.

"Asshole," Harry muttered as he stood in his place.

Now serious, Kami walked to the mild of the ballroom and met with Mr. Nott. Harry strained his ears to hear, but they didn't seem to be saying anything, just staring at each other hatefully. Oddly enough, when they spoke, they didn't argue.

"You didn't hold up your end of the bargain," he said gruffly.

"My mother deserves her things back," she said lightly. "That's not her fault."

"Yes," he said. "It's not her fault you inherited your grandmother's genes."

Those words made Kami start to lunge at him, but then Malfoy started to count, making her turn away swiftly, slapping Nott in the face with her hair. Harry gripped his wand tightly, and Padfoot growled as Kami stomped behind him.

"One… two… three… four…" Malfoy paused to glare at Kami. "Five… six… seven… eight… nine…" Malfoy gritted his teeth. "Ten."

" _Expelliarmus!"_ Harry bellowed. He poured all his anger and resentment toward Mr. Malfoy for his treatment of Kami into that spell. He felt sick satisfaction as he watched the spell hurtle towards him, realizing too little to late what Malfoy had done.

He cast the Killing Curse, but he aimed it towards the ceiling, at nothing. Harry almost dropped his wand in horror as his disarming spell hit Mr. Malfoy square in the chest. The older man flew backwards into the nearest wall. There was a sickening crack as his head made contact with the stone. Narcissa Malfoy screamed and ran for him.

Realizing Malfoy's intentions, Mr. Nott dropped his wand and held his hands up in surrender. Harry could only stare as Mrs. Malfoy wailed and tried to shake Lucius awake. Behind him, Kami made a strangled noise that sounded like something between a cry and a scream.

"Don't you run," Malfoy snapped at her. "You always fucking run."

Slowly, like he had wanted to run too, Malfoy walked over to his father and checked his pulse. Harry's heart was pounding against his ribcage. Did he kill him? He hadn't meant to… He thought-he thought that Mr. Malfoy was going to fight him. How was he supposed to know that this was what he was planning to do?

Malfoy snapped his fingers, and a house elf ran towards him. He barked at her to get the family's private healer, which Harry took as a good sign. Sirius changed back into a human and glanced at Harry nervously. How was he supposed to know?

* * *

Daddy had a cracked skull and a nasty concussion. Kami didn't visit him and just packed up her clothes and jewelry. She even managed to find some pocket money that she often squirreled away from her trips to Paris with her grandmother. There was no way that she was going to be welcomed home after this. Her father was trying to make a peace offering, and Harry just… didn't get it.

Harry cleared his throat and knocked on the doorframe. He was the only one who was brave enough to make sure Daddy was okay. She just wanted to get out of here and get on with accepting that she didn't have a family.

"He's, er, starting to wake up," he announced.

Kami nodded and shut her suitcase, locking the trunk with a click. "Good. I'm just picking up some of my things."

Harry picked up a shot that was on her nightstand. There were still a few drops of brandy in it, so it was obviously not old. "And some old habits?"

Kami huffed but wouldn't look at him. After what happened yesterday… and who was she kidding? She knew today was going to be a shit show no matter what happened. "I… just needed to get through the day…"

"So is this going to happen whenever there's a day you need to 'get through?'" he asked sharply. "Because I knew you were already drunk when you came down this morning."

"J-just a little tipsy," she muttered as she dragged her trunk off her bed. She wobbled slightly when it hit the floor with a slam.

"Perfect."

"No, no. I mean it." Kami licked her dry lips, not wanting to admit that she wanted more. What little she had wasn't enough. Ginny had a whole bottle under her bed… "Let's-can we go home now? I'd like to take a nap."

"Yeah." His voice was flat with disappointment. "Whatever."

* * *

Kami woke up the next morning with the worst headache she had in a while. It didn't help that the oblivious Ginny had opened the shades. She hid under the covers as her roommate started prattling on.

"Breakfast is soon," she declared. "You might want to get up soon before Mum barrels in. She's very nosey and then pouts like a baby if you call her out on it. I think she's faking the pouts though because—"

"Okay!" Kami grumbled as she slunk out of bed and stumbled towards the shower. Today already sucked.

"Holy shit!" It was Harry's best friend, Ronald Weasley, and that was the only words he had at the sight of her. Her eyes were red, a beautiful contrast to the dark circles. Her hair was limp and greasy from going a few days without washing it. She couldn't even remember if she had bothered to put on a bra. Kami looked down to see that she had forgotten to put on shoes too.

"Ronald," his girlfriend hissed as Harry gestured for them to leave for breakfast without him. Kami swallowed thickly. She wanted nothing more than to chug a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Are you mad at me?" She didn't even wait for Weasley and Granger to be out of earshot.

"No." His face said otherwise. It reminded her of Granger's cat when Ginny kicked it out of their room. Then, he softened. "Maybe a little."

"I'm sorry." What else could she say? And how many times had she said that to her brother? She didn't want to repeat that with Harry.

But he wouldn't look at her. "Can we go somewhere today? Just me and you?"

"Of course…"

* * *

By noon, Kami was convinced that Harry was going to break up with her. He tried to give her time to eat, but all she felt she could hold down was liquids. She was so unbelievably thirsty. She spent the rest of the two hours trying to clean herself up as best she could. She missed the feeling of a house elf washing her hair in the sink.

Eventually, he knocked on her door and held up a picnic basket. Wonderful, he was going to dump her over sandwiches. She'd have no choice but to vomit all over him.

She did vomit in fact, after they flood to Potter Manor. At least he didn't say _that's what you get_ like Draco would. Instead he just spelled it away and led her to the nearest working bathroom.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I thought it would be better than apparition."

"You thought wrong," she said as she rinsed her mouth out and magicked her mouth clean. "Take it from an expert."

He glared at her. "I wanted to go out to the lake."

"Perfect."

* * *

Harry desperately wanted to know what Kami was thinking. She had an almost grief-like sadness about her that could be over a number of things. Her lapse in sobriety, his royal fuck-up of the duel that apparently wasn't even a duel, the fact that he admitted to being angry with her, him _and_ Sirius, the one she was trying to impress, seeing her boggart. They walked in silence as he worried and swung the picnic basket.

"So," he said to break the tense silence, "I think you have no idea how to, well, er, deal with, uh, things."

"As usual your elegance just blows me away, Potter." She stared at her feet as they headed for the lake.

Harry rolled his eyes but otherwise acted like he didn't hear her. "I'll always help you with your problems, but some things you just can't fix. And when that happens, I like to come here. So, I figured I'd show you how I deal with it."

She closed her eyes, breathing in the scent of lake water. She didn't open them when she said, "So you didn't bring me here to dump me?"

"What?"

"Get rid of me, give the whole _it's not you it's me_ speech. You know." She finally faced him, looking fearful but ready. "Break things off."

"What? No! I…" The thought hadn't even crossed his mind. However, he shouldn't be surprised. She even saw love from her family as conditional. "I love you, and a slip up isn't gonna change that."

She shivered slightly and let out a sigh of relief. "I love you too."

"I come out here to scream," he confessed. "When I'm angry or sad or frustrated, and there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes, I just need to scream. I figured you could use a scream."

Kami frowned. "You just scream."

He nodded. "No one can hear us out here."

"Comforting…"

"Alright." Harry balled up his fists and planted his feet firmly on the ground. "Stand like this. Ready?"

She stared at him when he started yelling first, but eventually she followed suit. When he stopped, she was still going, and Harry saw the water bubbling in the lake. It wasn't boiling, just… uneasy. Before he knew it, a good amount of it shot in the air and crashed into both of them.

Her mouth opened in an 'O' shape as her makeup dripped down her face. Her hair was now a dark blonde from being wet, making her look even more foreign. Harry pulled some plant matter out of his hair only to find it was caked in dirt. His glasses had seen better days too.

Kami was the first to start laughing, and before knew it, he couldn't stop either. They just stood there like a pair of soaked idiots. Harry didn't stop until he realized that Kami was crying. Without thinking, he hugged her tightly until she stopped. She whispered, "Don't let go."

* * *

 _1944_

 _As his children grew older, Pollux Black found himself getting stuck going to more and more social events. He'd prefer to be home or better yet working, but he supposed he owed it to poor Irma, who wanted to make sure they married well. Dragon Pox unexpectedly took her last year, and life was unexpectedly empty. He didn't realize how much he much he appreciated her companionship until she was gone._

 _Irma was the one who knew the children best, and the one who cared for them the most. They were more of an obligation to him. The pureblood race was ever dwindling, and it was their duty to try to increase the population. He also needed an heir to properly inherit from his father. So far, Alphard had proved to be an embarrassment with tutoring of Muggleborns, and his desire to spend more time sketching and painting than learning the family business. Thankfully, his spare Cygnus was proving more than satisfactory. He'd leave Walburga Number 12, Cygnus the family business of smuggling Dark artifacts along with his other properties, and Alphard a bit of coin, only to try to minimize the gossip, definitely far less than he'd leave his other two children._

 _Not that Pollux was planning on dying any time soon, but this is what purebloods talked about at coming out balls. Who was going to inherit what and would prove the best match for the heiress who was looking for a marriage contract. Come to think of it, Walburga was long overdue for her ball. Irma's untimely demise caused him to forget. She would have reminded him, had she been here._

 _Anyway, it was Druella Rosier's Coming Out, and the little male twits around her age were all flocking to her. She was rather beautiful. Platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, nice body for a fifteen-year-old…_

" _I wish to speak with her." Alphard, who was usually carefree and easy going, sounded nervous._

 _Pollux grimaced. His oldest son was the type that should never marry. His oddities should end with him. He'd have to take care of this. "I will request a private meeting."_

 _Alphard brightened, looking shocked. The boy knew how he felt about him, but naively assumed he would still give him what he wanted. Perhaps losing his first love would teach him to act appropriately._

 _Druella couldn't believe her luck. The Blacks were her best friends, and she had always fancied Alphard. However, she knew her parents wouldn't approve of the quiet, eccentric boy for their daughter. She also knew that they couldn't say no to the powerful Pollux Black. Now that Alphard was graduating, she'd only have Cygnus to goof off with, and his temper often made her wary of him. If Alphard was to court her, he'd be permitted to go to Hogwarts to see her. Surely Walburga could chaperone, and they'd all be together again._

" _See what they have to say first," her mother said grimly as they got ready for tea with the Blacks. "I'd rather you marry Cygnus. He's more respectable."_

" _He's younger than me," was all Druella said as she fastened her ruby earrings. Only by a year, but she didn't know what else to say. Cygnus was a good friend, but she just didn't seem him like that. Sure, he made her laugh so hard she snorted, and yes, she saw that he was starting to notice her_ _ **in that way**_ _, but something about him made her cautious, almost nervous._

 _Alphard cared about her. He actually listened when she talked about things like school, her favorite authors, and her interest in learning other languages. They would take secret hikes in the Forbidden Forest, and he would sketch her with the unicorns or sitting under a big tree. Walburga said he was a queer, but Druella ignored her. Her friend was often vulgar, and Druella liked that about her, but not about Alphard. She didn't like anyone talking about Alphard._

" _So you'd have time to finish your schooling," her mother reasoned, breaking her from her thoughts. "I know that is important to you."_

 _ **But not to you,**_ _Druella thought. She wasn't stupid. Her mother saw her as a doll to dress up and show off. Her father saw her as a way to tie himself to a more prominent family. Things would be different with her future family. There would be laughter and warmth and most importantly love. There just had to be love._

" _I am yours," Druella said breathlessly to Alphard as soon as they arrived at Number 12. She spoke before her parents had the opportunity to stop her._

 _Alphard brightened, and for a split second, Druella thought everything was going to be alright, better than alright. It would be perfect. But then, Pollux Black cleared his throat._

" _Actually," he announced, "I had something else in mind."_

" _Did you?" Mother smiled, looking relieved as Druella's heart sunk. Father only looked mildly interested. As long as they could match her with a family that was wealthier and more powerful than their own, he didn't care if she was married off to the family dog. Alphard's face fell as a loud ringing formed in Druella's ears._

" _Since my Irma died…" He paused as Alphard clenched his fists. Mr. Black looked like he was trying not to smile. "I haven't felt drawn to a woman. That all changed when I saw your beautiful daughter at her Coming Out ball."_

" _What?" Druella whispered._

" _Druella! Do not be improper!" Her mother's voice was admonishing, but it was also shaking. Pollux Black was more than double her age, closer to forty than not._

" _You mean you were grieving?" Alphard snapped. Walburga looked torn between laughter and embarrassment while Cygnus's mouth hung open. "Mum's been dead for only a year!"_

" _I think a young wife will keep me going," he said simply, as if justifying having an extra slice of cake at dinner. Then, he turned to Father, shutting everyone else out of the conversation. "I won't require a dowry, as I am already well established. She only needs to bring what she wishes to bring into the marriage."_

 _Father liked the sound of that. "Then its settled. When would you like the wedding?"_

 _Druella, panicking, looked at her mother, but Mother only had eyes for her shoes. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't supposed to happened. It made no sense._

 _Mr. Black grinned. "As soon as possible."_

 _They were married the next day._

 _That night, Druella was absolutely petrified. She just stood there in his room,_ _ **their**_ _room, waiting for the inevitable. He almost lazily took off his tie, either not caring or not noticing her inner turmoil. Druella couldn't move a muscle if she tried._

" _I'm not a total monster," he said tiredly. Druella swallowed as he started unbuttoning his shirt. "But I will tell you, I've decided that you're going to be a powerful asset to me."_

" _A-asset?" she asked worriedly. What did that mean? What could he, a man, possibly want with her?_

" _You know I'm sell Dark artifacts." He paused. "I'm going to teach you how to please my costumers and those I buy from. Then, they will be more agreeable to my will."_

" _I-I don't understand," Druella whispered, although deep down she did. Her knees were starting to shake and black spots danced in her vision._

 _He smiled slightly at her denial. His smile reminded her of Cygnus, not Alphard. "I'll teach you."_

 _He let her go to school. At least there was that. Druella buried herself in books and took extra classes during her sixth year. She didn't talk to her friends much anymore. No one knew what she did on the weekends and during holidays. She prided herself in not letting anyone know that she was a whore, a literal whore._

" _We should dress up for Halloween," Cygnus said. Alphard didn't write to her anymore, and Walburga was too busy trying to find a husband. "I'll be the Fat Lady, and you can be the Bloody Baron."_

 _Druella's lips twitched into a small, rare smile. "Your father wants me to be a princess. An exotic one, of some sort."_

" _Boring," Cygnus muttered. "Hey, if you give Father a kid, can I name it? He'd be Igor, and he'd do my bidding."_

 _Pollux didn't want more children, and now that Druella knew what marriage was, she didn't either. One day, she'd have peace. Certainly, she'd outlive her husband. "Sure Cyg. Why not?"_

 _Cygnus frowned. They were heading for the Great Hall as it was nearly dinner. "You're different," he complained. "Burga said you'd be happy, now that you've gotten a proper fucking. But I don't know what she means by that. It's a curse word but—"_

" _Don't worry about it," Druella mumbled. "You know Walburga thinks she knows everything when she doesn't."_

 _Cygnus smirked. "Ain't that the truth. Well, for what its worth, I'm glad we're family."_

 _Druella nodded. At least he cared, even if he was too innocent to understand, and she wouldn't let him in. "I'm glad too."_

 _Six months into her marriage, Druella was hospitalized. While helping Pollux with his business associates, she developed a rash that reminded her of Dragon Pox… on her genitals. Several potions cured her and saved her fertility, but they didn't save her soul. Druella stared blankly at the wall as Pollux lied and told his children that she had a miscarriage. If she could get to St. Mungo's roof, she'd throw herself off it._

" _Run away with me." No one bothered to stay overnight at the hospital with her except for Alphard. It was always Alphard._

 _His voice was barely above a whisper, but Druella heard him loud and clear. Even a few days ago, she would have jumped at the opportunity. Now, she felt dead inside, like she couldn't feel anything. She didn't even have the strength to feel. "I can't."_

" _Why not?" He was getting louder, causing Druella to stare at him with dead eyes. "Listen, I've got a job painting Muggle houses. With magic, I can paint houses quickly and make more money and—"_

" _I just can't fight anymore," she said flatly. "I don't have the strength. I just can't…"_

" _What do you mean anymore?" He waited, but she didn't answer, even though he was right. She never fought to begin with. She was too weak, to easily worn out. His eyes filled with tears, and Druella only continued to stare blankly. "I can't keep seeing you like this. I-I can't take it anymore."_

" _Then don't." She was starting to feeling something, and that something was anger. Anger at her situation and at herself, but Alphard was there, the kind, gentle, easy target. "Just leave me alone."_

 _And he did._

 _Her first husband died when she was twenty-two, and Druella was slightly ashamed to say she was relieved. Pollux had a heart attack, and she had a feeling it was due to drugs. She wasn't one hundred percent sure because they didn't speak much. Druella merely observed and privately studied alchemy in the library unless he needed her to service his associates._

 _Druella vowed to never think of him again once the funeral was over. Father was annoyed that she didn't have any children, meaning she didn't have much stake in inheritance, but Druella didn't care. The last thing she wanted was little reminders running around._

" _You never realize how many people pretend to care about you until you have a funeral," Cygnus said dryly as he sipped some fire whiskey._

" _And don't forget weddings," Druella said tiredly. "A lot of annoying brown nosers at weddings too."_

 _Cygnus smirked. "At least Alphard had the decency to not show up. I can't believe he married a Muggle."_

" _Burga still doesn't know?" Her heart clenched at the thought of Alphard marrying someone else, but she had to let it go. She pushed him away. Now that she was free and not wallowing in despair, she saw that she pushed him away from her._

" _Well, Muggles don't show up on the Family Tapestry." He laughed and took another sip of his fire whiskey. "She practically worships the bloody thing. I think its going to give her a son instead of Orion."_

 _Druella smiled. "What a sight that will be."_

 _Cygnus shrugged. "I'm not telling her. If I do, she'll fight his inheritance, and for all he is, the loon's still my brother."_

 _Druella frowned, not thinking Cygnus was capable of such kindness. "I'd sooner tell her that Orion's a homosexual."_

 _Cygnus snorted. "She knows."_

" _There you are!" Speak of the fucking devil. The older she got, the more miserable and scheming Walburga became. "I was just talking to your mother, Druella."_

" _Oh?" She was eager to return home and be back in her mother's safe arms._

 _Walburga nodded, smiling brightly. "We've found the perfect solution to this tragedy."_

" _Did you?" Druella's heart started to pick up speed. She was close, so close to being free, being home and safe._

 _Looking triumphant, she joined Druella's and Cygnus's hands together. "The two of you always had a connection. This was how it was supposed to be, if Father wasn't so… carnal."_

 _This wasn't how it was supposed to be. It was supposed to be Druella and Alphard. It was always Druella and Alphard. But Alphard was married. He moved on, although Walburga didn't know that. Druella supposed it didn't matter anyway. Either way, they were apart._

 _And… Cygnus was there for her when no one else was. He remained blissfully ignorant of her torment, but he always made sure to make her smile, took her fun places when Pollux was traveling. He cared, and Druella decided that was the best she could ask for. Her parents wouldn't accept her dreams of spinsterhood when a rich, pureblood suitor stood before her._

 _Cygnus looked at her hopefully. He did always have feelings for her. Druella forced herself to nod, despite the lump in her throat. He cared for her, unlike Pollux. He couldn't possibly treat her so horribly then._

 _Quietly, to hide her feelings of being trapped, Druella said, "I accept."_

 _Bellatrix was born within a year of their marriage. That was also when Cygnus started drinking more heavily. First, he would only get drunk on the weekends, then, slowly it became every night, and every day when he wasn't working, sometimes, even when he was. Was he that disappointed that their first child was a daughter? Druella didn't know. She was too busy trying to get used to motherhood. Belllatrix was a demanding, emotional child. Druella was ashamed to admit that sometimes she had to leave her to the house elves._

" _Did you hear?" Cygnus slurred one night. "That Alphard's Muggle whore wife died."_

 _Druella looked up from the dinner she was picking at. They hadn't spoken much since Bellatrix was born, and the news he delivered startled her, leaving an uneasy feeling in her chest. "Really? No, I didn't."_

 _Cygnus laughed. "So, go on. Rush off to his bed."_

" _Cygnus!" Druella may not be the warmest or the most talkative, but she was his wife. She was a good wife._

 _He jabbed a finger in her direction. "You never loved me."_

" _That's not true," she lied. She was a good wife, and she did love him, in a familial way. She cared enough about his feelings to spare him the truth._

" _You never loved me!" he yelled and threw a plate over her head. The house elves rushed to clean it up. "No matter how hard I tried…"_

 _Druella's nostrils flared. She was faithful, kind, and most of all patient._ _ **A good wife.**_ _"You're drunk," she accused. "Go to bed."_

 _In another room, Bellatrix started screaming. Without a second thought, Druella left Cygnus to go comfort her._

 _No matter how hard she tried, Druella could not stop thinking about Alphard. To hide her guilt, she did her best to dote upon Cygnus. And to hide his guilt for throwing a plate at her, he was the loving husband he had been in the early months of their marriage. He bought her books from his business trips, and she agreed to try for another baby, despite the healer's advice to wait at least another year. They were going to be okay. They had to be._

 _Cygnus had been gone for a month away on business when Druella couldn't take it anymore. She was just going to offer Alphard her condolences. That was all. He lived in London, so close that she barely had to use magic to apparate._

 _After taking a deep breath, she stiffly knocked on the door that she believed to be his apartment. It was the address that Cygnus had addressed the Gringotts information to his inheritance after Pollux died. For some reason, it was etched in her mind permanently._

" _Hello," she said, sounding formal when Alphard opened the door. He looked shocked to see her and didn't say a word as he opened the door wider. "I'm here to offer my condolences."_

 _Alphard stared, still not believing what he was seeing. "Condolences?"_

 _Druella nodded and tried to force herself to make eye contact. "For your wife. I heard about her untimely demise."_

" _My wife?" he repeated._

" _Yes…"_

 _Alphard opened and closed his mouth several times. He rubbed his jaw, fingers scraping against the slight stubble. "Who told you I had a wife? I've never married. Never even lived with a woman."_

" _Cyg…" Druella gaped. "Cygnus told me." And then Walburga conveniently swooped in and suggested the two of them marry. They planned this._

" _I would never…" Alphard shook his head. "It's always been you."_

 _They stared at each other for a long time as Druella's mind raced. Why did Cygnus make up Alphard having a wife, only to say that she died? Because he was that bitter. He was that hurt that she didn't love him, so hurt that he wanted her to learn the truth. And there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn't leave Bellatrix._

" _You know I have a daughter," she said thickly._

" _Ah, yes. Walburga was very eager to tell me that a few months ago." His mouth was a thin, grim line. "She has an uncanny talent for ruining people's lives."_

 _Well she wouldn't ruin hers, not completely anyway. Druella rushed over to Alphard and crashed her lips into his. He had no objections as they backed into the nearest wall. They were so desperate for each other's love that they couldn't take the long walk to his bedroom._

 _Druella clawed at his back as they undressed, unable to get close enough to him. Her legs tightly secured herself around him as he took her against the wall. He was gentle while she was desperate and greedy. Eventually, they made their way to his bed where he kissed every inch of her. She orgasmed for the first time in her life as they made love. She never wanted the night to end._

 _Andromeda was born nine months later. Alphard had visited her in the middle of the night and whispered, "I fixed the tapestries."_

 _Druella acted like she didn't hear him. And he didn't say anything when Narcissa was born, so she had to be Cygnus's. She just had to be. Druella had just made a mistake. She was a good wife. She just made a mistake… over and over again throughout the next twenty-five years._

 _After Nymphadora had been taken away from Bellatrix, Social Services told them that Andromeda had adopted her. Bellatrix was beside herself, making threats about killing Andromeda and her husband. Druella just wanted to see for herself._

" _You really should cast wards," Druella said when she knocked on Andromeda's door. Little Nymphadora was sound asleep in her arms, making Druella's heart swell. "You know your sister is grief stricken, and she's always been a bit…"_

" _Unstable," Andromeda said coolly. This was their first time speaking since shr had run away. "What do you want?"_

 _Druella chewed on her lip nervously. "I don't know."_

" _Awesome." Andromeda made to shut the door, but Druella stopped it with her foot._

" _I wanted to apologize," she said quietly. Andromeda raised her eyebrows. "For… for not taking better care of you. All three of you."_

 _At first, Andromeda said nothing. Her expression was very unforgiving. "He was a monster."_

 _She was talking about Cygnus, whose alcoholism made him turn violent. Druella rubbed at the bruise that was hidden under her sleeve. "I know."_

" _You should have protected us," her middle daughter accused. "Instead, you abandoned me."_

 _ **You ran away,**_ _Druella wanted to say angrily, but it wasn't Andromeda's fault that she was brave enough to do what her mother couldn't. "You are so much stronger than me, my love. I've planned it in my head so many times. I even learned how to use Muggle transportation. I had maps memorized, money hidden… but… I just couldn't. It was like I was paralyzed. I couldn't take that first step out the door."_

 _Andromeda softened. She was always the most loving of her daughters. Probably because she was secretly Druella's favorite. "You can live with me."_

 _Druella shook her head. "Narcissa needs me. She doesn't have all the love that you do." And she so desperately craves it._

 _Andromeda sighed in disappointment, but she didn't sound surprised. "Uncle Alphard visits me a lot. Almost every day he's here for dinner."_

 _Druella blinked in surprise, and Andromeda smiled, silently acknowledging the truth. Alphard was never able to properly be part of Andromeda's life. Now, he could. She wondered why he didn't tell her. She would have to tell him that she approved. "I'm happy to hear that."_

 _Andromeda nodded to herself. "Goodbye, Mother."_

 _Druella's throat tightened. "Goodbye."_

 _In 1977, Alphard died in a car accident. Druella felt like her chest was ripped in half, and someone had poured hot water in it. He left all his money to her nephew Sirius, and she was the only one to was willing to deliver the information to the boy._

 _Tentatively, she knocked on the door of the flat he had shared with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. In her cowardice, she hoped one of the other boys would answer the door, but there he was._

" _Sirius," she said softly. "I-I'm afraid your Uncle Alphard has… there was an accident."_

 _Sirius's guarded expression melted away into grief. "Oh. He…" He was one of the few who was kind to the boy._

" _Yes." Druella tried to keep her voice steady. After their affair started, he began attending family gatherings again, especially after Andromeda was born. Briskly, she handed him an envelope. "He left you some money."_

 _Sirius stared at the envelope in his hands. When he faced Druella, he was guarded once again. "Thank you."_

 _He shut the door in her face, causing Druella to jump. She was about to say that Alphard was a good man. She thought that she could share her grief with the boy, but what did she expect? Throughout his life, she ignored him, never stepping in when Walburga's resentment and cruelty towards him was displayed for the whole family to see. That's what she always did. Druella just watched and let things happen to her, her children, and her family. She was too weak to do anything else._

 _In 1988, Cgynus died after a long battle with alcoholism. His liver had finally failed him, and Druella had a hollow feeling in her chest. Was it her fault? If she had been able to love him, would things be different?_

" _Are you sad, Grandma?" Little Kamelia crawled into her lap, big blue eyes wide with concern. "I don't want you to be sad."_

 _Druella cuddled her as the service continued. Narcissa glanced in their direction but didn't pull her daughter away like Druella knew she wanted to. Impropriety drove her mad. "Don't worry about me, little flower."_

 _Kamelia pouted, insulted by the very idea. "I have to because I love you. I don't even care that Mummy will be cross with me for chatting."_

" _Brave girl," Druella whispered. Kamelia snuggled deeper into her arms to try to make her feel better. She was a sweet little thing, if not spoiled. Smart too._

 _Now that she was free of Pollux and Cygnus, Druella, for the first time in her life felt strong. She embraced little Kamelia and promised herself that things would be different for her. She would break this cycle._

 **Thank you for reviewing myafroatemydog, rabradley09, mmoore1545, PhoenixForYou, gr8rockstarrox, x XRoweenaJAugustineX x, XxDragon King DragneelxX, Short But Deadly, Isaacl112, DeathStick15, and I'm the Galactic Starfish!**

 **I know its been forever, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things! Were the flashbacks too much? I was hoping to write bit about Narcissa next chapter. I also regret not having Teddy in this…**

 **Next up, Andromeda and Kami spend some time together and Kami looks into college, among other things. Anyone know what it was like to apply to college around this time? I was not even in elementary school yet. :P Did they use computers?**

 **Oh and if you want to friend me on Good Reads, I'm Theodora Snowbird on there too!**


	12. I am breaking the cycle

**Harry Potter isn't mine.**

 **There's some disordered eating in the flashbacks this time around, so if you don't want to read that, then skip 'em I supposed. Not to worry. This time there's only two. :P**

Chapter 12 I am breaking the cycle

Sirius felt guilty after seeing Kamelia's boggart. No wonder she was so aimless and confused. Harry asked him not to bring it up to her and act like it never happened, and Sirius was all too willing to obliged. The only problem was that he couldn't exactly apologize when he was supposed to act like he didn't see what he saw.

"I just don't know what to do," Sirius confessed to Andy. He was over her house, enjoying tea and biscuits while Harry and Kamelia had a picnic at Potter Manor.

Andy glared at him, still angry over their last encounter. "Why does knowing something horrible about her make you want to apologize? Shouldn't you apologize because you wronged them, not because you feel bad for her?"

"I didn't exactly wrong them." Sirius held up his hands in surrender when Andy opened her mouth to lecture him. "I just worry for Harry. Things are moving awfully fast between them—"

"Because she lives there?" Andy raised an eyebrow at him. "You don't like that Harry loves her so deeply."

"Because they just met!" Sirius couldn't resist snapping. "You heard about what he did to Lucius! And what if Lucius wasn't trying to make a truce?"

Andy smirked and sipped her tea. "Well he's certainly not now. In his eyes, Harry insulted him greatly. Threw his attempt at making peace right in his face."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Anyway, she was so excited to show me the piano and…"

"And you were fully planning on being a world class brat." Andy grinned. "What was her boggart anyway?"

Sirius looked away and grabbed himself another biscuit. "I can't say. And yes, I was going to be an impatient asshole. Harry was telling me how much she loves music… I feel lower than a snake, Andy."

"Because you are." His cousin seemed to have been laughing at his plight all day. "I was hoping you would be mature for once and make up with her. I thought that maybe she'd like working with me."

Sirius snorted. "Like she knows the meaning of the word _work_." Andy raised her eyebrows at him. This was going to be harder than he thought…

* * *

Harry was off at his orientation for school, so Kami was by herself, eating soup and reading at the table during lunch. Everyone else seemed to be busy with something, leaving her alone for the first time since she had moved in. Well, there was one person who wasn't busy. Yay…

"So…" Black was eating a plate of chicken wings for lunch. Kami tried not to pull a face. "About the other day…"

She should have known this was coming. And without Harry around to boot… "Yes. It was unfortunate."

"Right…" Black tucked into his food. He always ate like the food was going to run away from him. "I wanted to apologize."

"For?" The Malfoy in her was tempted to draw this out, make him suffer as much as possible. Her parents always made people grovel. Draco wouldn't forgive anyone until they treated him like a king for a little while. Kami stared at Black for a moment before shaking her head. "Never mind."

"For nitpicking." Black wiped some of the sauce off his fingers onto a napkin before giving up and sucking the sauce off. Disgusting. "I was worried about Harry and blamed you. Besides Remus, he's all I have. But it wasn't your fault that he was reckless."

"It's… okay." Kami couldn't remember if she had ever truly accepted an apology. An apology used to be something that would lead to her getting something. She never really cared about the actual apology before.

Black nodded, and they continued to eat in silence. Kami pretended to read but never turned the page. She was hoping Black would inhale his food as usual and be off to do whatever weird things he does during the day. He liked to visit George Weasley often, from what she had observed.

"And…" He summoned a cupcake for dessert. Who eats dessert with their lunch? Especially since she knew Mrs. Weasley was going to make dessert to celebrate Harry and Ronald's day at the Auror Academy Orientation. "Andy's started up a summer music camp, but her assistant quit. I figured we could help her out, since Harry's going to be busy with school with Ron. Ginny's training, Hermione's taking early classes..."

"Together?" Maybe she shouldn't have accepted that apology…

Black nodded and shoved the last of the cupcake in his mouth. "Yeah. You ready?"

No! "I suppose…"

* * *

After what had to be the most awkward sidelong apparition in her life, Kami tensed at the sight of a parent dropping her child off. She was in a car. They are _Muggles_. She didn't move until Black started walking and looked over his shoulder to see what she was doing. She had never been around Muggles before except for when she used to sneak out and drink with Pansy and look how that turned out.

"Hello," the woman said. She looked tired. "You must be Andy's new helpers. We've had a bit of a rough morning, but I think Claire is ready."

The little brat, who had to be about five or six, certainly did not look ready. Her face was red and tear stained, and her expression was absolutely monstrous. She was wearing a strange contraption on her head, and Black only filled her in once he saw her staring.

"Nice headphones!" he exclaimed. The girl didn't even look at him. She was staring at Kami, who almost jumped out of her skin when she grabbed her hand and started running her fingers over the smooth rubies on her bracelet. Kami tried not to move.

The mother smiled tiredly, as if she knew the day was going to be a disaster for her daughter. "Andy has my number… Goodbye." She waved feebly at her daughter but was ignored. "I'll be back at four."

Black opened the door, but the little girl didn't budge. Kami heard the sounds of various instruments playing off tune. She didn't want to go in either, but what would Black think if she didn't? That she was just like her parents or lazy. She tried not to flinch when Claire, who was still fiddling with her bracelet, touched her wrist with sticky fingers.

"I'm scared too," she said quietly, wondering if she could be heard through the headphones. They were covering her ears like earmuffs. "Together?"

As she started going in, her bracelet did too. The little girl stared at her defiantly but… She liked the feeling of that bracelet. Black shrugged, like there wasn't a little imp attached to her wrist and lead them inside.

"Hello Claire!" Aunt Andromeda said excitedly. The other children seemed, well, _normal_. In fact, they appeared to be a little disappointed that Claire had arrived. When one of them gave Claire a dirty look, Kami found herself returning it and immediately wondering why. "What would you like to play today?"

The girl ignored her and rushed to a shelf and started knocking books down. "Hey, now," Black said feebly. He was promptly ignored. "Hey!"

Aunt Andromeda sighed as the other children became uneasy. "Your mum wouldn't be happy to hear this, Claire."

Like that was going to work. She and Draco would have laughed her off unless Mother was actually in the room. Anyway, it wasn't her problem. The sticky fingers were finally away from her wrist. But she was interested in the music. She liked to show her little cousins from France how to play, and if this was a good day, maybe Black would like her.

Kami forced herself to say firmly, "And you won't get to play my special game." The girl stopped and stared at her. "Clean it up, and we can play."

The girl shook her head, clearly wanting to play but not wanting to clean up. She was just as bratty as Kami was as a kid, although there was clearly something else going on with her. The only problem was that the brat didn't have Lucius Malfoy around to make a house elf do it while Mother tried not to yell at him. Channeling her inner Narcissa Malfoy, Kami said, "Fine. We'll all play while you just sit and do nothing."

"I wanna play!" Claire yelled, speaking for the first time. She grabbed another book and threw it at her. It landed at Kami's feet.

"What kind of game is it?" Aunt Andromeda asked. Black went to pick up the book until her aunt gave him a dirty look. "Maybe Sirius could help her while we start playing."

"I WANT TO PLAY!"

"Everyone needs an instrument," Kami explained.

"I WANT TO PLAY!" At being ignored once again, Claire picked up a book and slammed it into the bookshelf.

"When its one person's turn, they will bring up their instrument and take a solo," Kami went on. "The solo will be about how they feel. Then, we in the group will try to copy it. Then, it's the next person's turn."

Aunt Andromeda smiled. "I remember that game. My mother taught it to us. Although, I swear Bella was trying to make my ears bleed."

Kami frowned at the mention of Aunt Bellatrix. Now, she wanted to leave. What was she doing? In all the excitement, she had forgotten that the children were Muggles. They were obviously trying to trap her. Black brought her to Muggles, and Aunt Andromeda brought up Aunt Bellatrix. Black probably told her about her boggart…

"Would you like to go first?" Aunt Andromeda exuded kindness. "Perhaps after the game, you could give Claire a personal lesson?" The girl looked up in surprise, and Kami saw a bit of hope in her eyes at the thought of one on one attention.

Kami grabbed a violin. "I'm a bit nervous, so I'm going to play really fast!"

* * *

Harry got nervous when he came home to find Kami nowhere to be seen, and Ginny saying that Sirius had spirited her away to Andromeda's house. There were only two ways he could see this going terribly or painfully awkwardly. He really wished Sirius had asked him or tried to make up with Kami with him there as a buffer.

Andromeda answered when he knocked, although he could barely hear her over the noise. "Wotcher Harry!"

"Hey. Er… Is Kami still here?" Harry was worried how she would react if things hadn't gone well. He wished he'd asked Ginny to take her to training so she could watch.

Thankfully, when she nodded, she seemed happy about it. "Oh yes! We're just finishing up! She had a great first day on the job! Sirius, however, has a splitting headache."

"Job?" Harry walked into the living room to see Sirius sound asleep under a pile of kids. One was sitting on his lap, another was playing with his hair, and yet another seemed to be trying to trace his tattoos. They were surrounded by the telly and were watching a Disney movie. And guess who was sitting on the floor with them, singing along with them?

" _When will my reflection show, who I am insiiiiiiiide?_ " Kami sang. A little girl with brown hair and headphones was snuggled into her lap.

"Oh my God." As much as Harry wanted to say it, a woman behind him was the one voicing her thoughts. "No wonder I didn't get any phone calls…"

The girl from Kami's lap looked up. "Mummy!" She crawled out of Kami's lap and started dragging her over. Other parents started filing in to pick up their children, thanking Andromeda and saying goodbye and that they would see her on Monday. "Mummy! Look!"

"Hi." Kami scrambled to her feet, and by the fearful look on her face, she remembered that she was with Muggles. "Kamelia Malfoy."

"She's _my_ friend," the girl said proudly. "We played a game, and drums, and sang, and we had a snack, and now we're watching a movie."

"Friend," the mother repeated, almost sounding in awe.

"We had a good day," Andromeda butted in as Kami became more nervous. "I think we're really gonna turn the summer around."

"Yes." The woman laughed breathlessly. "I say pizza for dinner. To celebrate."

"Yes!"

Overly excited at the thought of pizza, the girl started dragging her mother away not bothering to say goodbye. She looked over her shoulder at Kami and mouthed, _Thank you_. Kami blushed at the compliment.

When they were gone, Harry said, "You know, of all the things I pictured walking into, this was not one of them."

Kami shrugged, embarrassed. "I got suckered into it."

"But I hope you'll be back," Andromeda said as she started to magically clean up. She glanced at Sirius and rolled her eyes. "I think I'll leave him here. Anyway, it was like having a music therapist. I forgot all those games my mother played with us."

"Music therapist?" Kami asked.

Andromeda nodded. "I was ready to tell Claire's mother she couldn't come anymore. I felt bad. Her mother obviously needs a break. Will you be back on Monday? We really start at eight. My cousin just can't be bothered to get out of bed."

Kami nodded slowly, probably surprising herself. "Yeah…"

* * *

"You looked awfully happy today," Harry said that night. They were in his room after dinner, lying in his bed and waiting for Sirius to announce loudly that he was walking by. "Was it hard working with Muggles?"

Kami shrugged, lost in thought. "What's a music therapist?"

"No idea." Harry ran a hand through her hair. "I'm sure Hermione would look into it. She can find out anything."

"Hmmm…" Kami snuggled into the crook of his neck. "Excited to start your classes?"

"Kind of." Harry smiled in embarrassment. "I'm a bit nervous about being in a class without Hermione. I'm not sure I'm a good student."

Kami ran her fingers over his chest, making his skin feel electric. "But you're pretty much learning your best subject all day. It'll be easy for you."

"We'll see…" Harry wrapped his arms around her and kissed her slowly, turning slightly so that he was on top of her. Kami snaked her arms under his shirt and slightly dug her nails into his back. He stopped when he heard the creak of Sirius walking by as he talked loudly about getting a glass of milk before bed. "Tosser."

"He loves you." Kami grinned against his lips. "Lupin had to stop him from ordering a five-tier ice cream cake for your birthday the other day when you were in the shower."

"Oh God." He forgot about his birthday. Sirius certainly hadn't.

"What are your plans?" she asked. "I'll have to know what to wear. Thank God I got my clothes back when…"

She went silent at the mention of the duel. Her parents said nothing to her since, and her brother only wrote to her to say that Lucius was absentminded sometimes but expected to make a full recovery. Harry sat up to distract her. "You can wear your finest dress robes." She perked up at the sound of that. "But it won't matter because we're just staying in and getting pizza."

"Hey! Who wants to—" She stopped at the sound of Sirius coming up the stairs. With a laugh, she stood up and started jumping on the bed, laughing when Harry realized what she was doing and tried to stand up to stop her. Sirius practically ran to his room and slammed the door rather loudly. "Haha!"

"Rude!" Harry finally managed to get his footing and grabbed her, cringing when she loudly squealed at him scooping her up. "Just wait until your birthday!"

Kami halfheartedly struggled and shrieked when he threw her on the bed. "We're going dancing on my birthday!"

Harry climbed on top of her, trying not to take notice of how close they were. "I'm wearing Ron's old dress robes," he whispered. "And I can guarantee that I'll step on your feet."

"Good!" Kami teased. "I'll just look more beautiful and graceful next you in comparison."

"Of course, you will." Harry felt himself turn red when Ron knocked on the door. Hermione probably wanted alone time to study.

Kami smiled but looked a little embarrassed too, a sharp contrast to what she just did to trick Sirius. They both wanted to continue what his godfather had interrupted. "Until tomorrow, birthday boy."

* * *

A few days before his birthday, Harry received a birthday card. His eyebrows shot up to his hairline when he recognized Dudley's sloppy handwriting. Kami tilted her head to the side as she nosily looked over his shoulder as he opened it.

There's nothing special about it. It's the typical pound shop card with a lame joke inside. Dudley signed it in his typical scrawl and left a postscript stating that he's working at a coffee shop in London while attending community college.

"Who's Dudley?" Kami asked. Ron who was eating breakfast gagged out the sound of his name, causing her to stare like she wasn't sure if something was wrong with him or if he was joking.

Harry glared at Ron. For now, his time at Privet Drive was something he wanted to move on from and not talk about. "My cousin. We never got on, but I think he's finally starting to grow up."

Of course, Kami was fascinated. He never talked about his aunt, uncle, or cousin, so he couldn't blame her for being infuriatingly curious. She ran her fingers over the pencil he used, frowning slightly since she was so used to seeing ink. "Are we going to go see him?"

Ron snorted. "Like Harry would want to so much as look at him again."

"Ronald," Hermione hissed. She wasn't touching her breakfast and was studying Harry intently. "He obviously doesn't want to talk about it!"

"Who wouldn't want to talk about how awful that hog was?" Ron said as he shoved an entire sausage link in his mouth. "I mean—"

"We could go," Harry cut in before Ron could go into detail. "For a few minutes. I never made sure they were alright after the War was over."

Kami looked between them, not wanting to push Harry but also wanting to know. He knew he would tell her one day but didn't think that day would be so soon. "We don't have to. I've never particularly liked coffee. I mean, its okay, if you need a pick me up, but I wouldn't go out of my way to get it…"

Harry shrugged, trying to play it off as not a big deal. He'd just get it over with. It would probably be so awkward that Dudley wouldn't bother to write to him again. He also wondered how his cousin managed to get in contact with him. Hedwig the Second had intercepted whatever he had used to send the card. "We'll go and see if he's there tonight."

* * *

The coffee shop was nicer than what Harry imagined. He pictured a place that Dudley worked to be full of sweets. He also pictured Dudley never lasting long in a job because he would try to bully or dominate his coworkers. But there his cousin was, cleaning tables and giving customers refills. He looked shocked when he caught Harry's eye and almost cautiously returned the wave.

"Hey." Dudley finished with a costumer and hurried over to greet him.

"Big D." Harry forced himself to crack a smile as Kami, who was practically clinging to him, gave him a look that screamed, _What the fuck does that mean?!_ Dudley blushed at the old nickname. "This is my girlfriend, Kami."

Dudley held out his hand for her to shake, and Kami hesitantly took it, probably screaming inside since he was a Muggle. He wondered if she wanted to wash her hands but decided to not acknowledge it. She was trying, and he had to give her credit like Sirius and Andromeda did the other day.

"Not from our neck of the woods, huh?" Dudley asked. He didn't seem offended though. "Does your kind not… uh, handshake?"

"My kind," Kami said flatly. Harry elbowed her slightly. "I mean, yes we do. I'm just still getting used to _your_ kind." Maybe he shouldn't have brought her…

But Dudley merely laughed nervously. Harry couldn't only imagine how Vernon would react to her. "Well… I'm glad you came. I know we never got on." He glanced at Kami, wondering how much she knew. "Anyway, I wanted to apologize again. I wish things had been different."

Harry nodded. All Dudley could do was apologize. What was done is done, but that still didn't make it okay. "So do I."

"Perhaps we could start over," Dudley offered. Harry said nothing. "I mean me and you. Mum and Dad are well, you know."

"Yeah." Harry looked at his feet. He didn't want anything to do with his aunt and uncle. "I'll be in London for a few years."

He offered no more. Dudley updated him on his life as costumers stared leaving, and he started closing the shop. He was getting ready to be a business major. Piers was sharing a flat with him, and he hoped to get a car in a few weeks. Nothing unpredictable was happening in Dudley's life, but Harry still listened politely. Dudley asked about him, but before he could answer, his ride picked him up.

Aunt Petunia stopped a looked at Harry. They stared at each other for a moment, and Kami's mouth hung open as Dudley introduced his mother to her. Aunt Petunia acted like she didn't hear him.

"We have dinner with Aunt Marge tonight, Sweetums!" she gushed, not looking at Harry. She started to lead Dudley out, who looked at Harry apologetically. Kami (which Harry supposed he should have guessed) was not having it.

She pulled out her wand and yanked Aunt Petunia back like she had an invisible rope. Master of hysterics, Aunt Petunia shrieked like a woman being murdered and flailed like she was drowning. Dudley looked between them and tried to pull his mother back, only causing Kami to yank harder until she and Aunt Petunia were face to face.

"Look at him!" Kami yelled. Aunt Petunia quieted down. "Why won't you even look at him?!"

Harry put a hand on Kami's arm. "I'm terribly sorry… We'd best be going now."

Kami shook his arm off. "No! He came because he wanted to make sure you guys were okay! And he didn't want to, but he was brave and did it anyway! And you just ignore him!"

Aunt Petunia regarded her hatefully. Despite all her fears of Harry using magic as a child, he doubted that she had ever had it used on her. "Of course, he would tie himself a little freak with no self-control. Just like his mother."

"This is me controlling myself," Kami seethed, although Harry could never recall seeing her so angry. "Stop ignoring him!"

"And you'll destroy him just like Potter did to my sister," Aunt Petunia snapped. She bravely turned to leave, probably knowing that Harry would stop Kami if she raised her wand again, which he did. Harry apparated home with Kami as soon as they left.

* * *

"You used magic on a Muggle!" Harry yelled when they apparated into the living room. "Do you how much trouble you could get in?"

"Well…" Kami deflated slightly as she saw how angry he was. "It's not like she doesn't know—"

"It doesn't matter!" Harry glared at Sirius, who started coming downstairs to see why he was yelling. "You can't do that! And you should have just let her go!"

"She was being a bitch!" Kami shot back.

"Oh and you were being a fairy princess!" Harry said sarcastically. "You're just angry because she was ignoring me like your parents are ignoring you! But guess what? I don't care what they think because I have a spine!"

Kami turned bright red, knowing that there was plenty of truth in his words. "They're supposed to love you!"

"Well they didn't. Okay?" Harry shouted. "They just… didn't."

Kami clenched her jaw as his words rang silence in the room. She had no idea what happened because he didn't tell her. Some things he just wanted to forget. "They were supposed to."

"It's not your job to make them," Harry pressed. "What you did wasn't right. And even it was, it wasn't your place to do it. They're my…" He couldn't bring himself to say _family_. "…past. I decide how to deal with them."

"Past?" she said worriedly. She still didn't get it.

"Past," he repeated. He could be friendly with Dudley, who clearly wanted things to change. However, Petunia and Vernon would now always be his past and never his future.

Kami shook her head. She desperately wanted her parents to be part of her future. "It's not right."

Harry shook his head in agreement. They should be able to make amends, and Harry should get an apology from Petunia and Vernon, but he wouldn't, and he accepted that. It wasn't right, but it was reality. "No. It's not."

"But—"

"No buts," Harry said firmly. "I want a family with my friends, and Sirius and Remus, and… you. That's it."

Kami stared at him. Whenever he was angry with her, she seemed to think he was ready to throw her away. "Me?"

"Yes." Harry smiled slightly. "Just stop sticking up for me. You're terrible at it." She continued to stare, thinking he'd change his mind. "Probably because you're too used to being the bully."

His last sentence made her a bit teary eyed, so Harry hugged her tightly and looked over her shoulder to see Sirius watching them intently. At the sight of being caught, his godfather hurried up the stairs. Potter Manor couldn't be finished soon enough. He would make sure Sirius had have his own wing to give him privacy.

* * *

 _1975_

 _Narcissa had always fancied Lucius from afar, although she had always been too shy to speak to him. In fact, they hadn't really spoken much until after their wedding. Narcissa was nervous. She wanted everything to be perfect. Her hair, her makeup, her figure… She didn't put much thought into what she would say. What if her voice croaked like a frog?_

 _Lucius was doing most of the talking. Although he wouldn't admit it, Narcissa knew that he happy. She didn't want to mess it up by talking. "The family tree is above my mother's old rooms. We never look at it, only when babies are born or people get married. I don't think I've ever been up here."_

 _Narcissa smiled as they climbed the stairs. In the ballroom, everyone was still celebrating. Abraxas was shamelessly flirting with her female cousins. Mother was nowhere to be seen, and Father was probably at the bar, but she didn't care. All she wanted was the man before her._

" _Here we are!" Lucius said excitedly. Like a boy on Christmas morning, he grabbed her hand and ran with her to where they would be on the tree. Narcissa's heart fluttered nervously, only to sink when she spotted her name._

 _Druella Black. That's where she and Andromeda came from, but unlike Bellatrix, they were not threaded to Cygnus. Alphard Black. Uncle Alphard… Only he wasn't her uncle. He was her father._

" _I-I can fix it," Lucius said cautiously once he saw too. A ringing started to form in Narcissa's ears. That couldn't be true. It-it just didn't make sense._

 _But when Father went away on business, Uncle Alphard always stayed over. He showed up the day after Father left and went home the day before he came back. Mother would sometimes disappear for days on end. When they were at Hogwarts, and Narcissa tried to firecall her, she would never be home. Father hated Andromeda, and no matter how much Narcissa tried he would never give her so much as the time of day. Did he know? Narcissa didn't think so. He clearly felt something though._

 _Narcissa watched stone face as Lucius clumsily rearranged the threads. It was the first true kindness he had ever besotted upon her, but she barely noticed. All her life, she tried to be perfect. She got near perfect marks. She was polite, pretty, and entertaining. When Bellatrix made all those insults towards her, she made major changes. She barely ate, only spoke when prompted to, and did everything she could to be perfect. All to find out that she was a bastard. Illegitimate. A product of infidelity._

" _You want to get rid of me, don't you?" Narcissa said thickly. Lucius deserved better._

 _Lucius frowned like he couldn't fathom why she would possibly say that. "I married you, not your mother."_

 _Narcissa nodded but didn't understand. She wanted to be perfect, but her very birth was a mistake, a result of a wanton woman who had no self-control. Still, she had to strive for protection, for Lucius._

 _She lost twenty pounds within the year._

Narcissa didn't know why that memory was pecking away at her mind as she wrapped on Andromeda's door one Sunday. Perhaps because this was where Alphard lived after Andromeda had ran away. She never confronted either of them. Alphard had died two years later.

Andromeda opened the door, looking shocked. They hadn't spoken in over thirty years, so that was to be expected. "Cissa?"

"I need to talk to you," Narcissa said firmly.

She had to give her credit. Andromeda didn't hesitate to open the door wider. As they walked in, she magically started a kettle of tea and invited Narcissa to sit down. As she did, she slammed the most current issue of _The Daily Prophet_ on the coffee table.

"Stealing daughters is what you do best, isn't it?" Narcissa said cruelly.

Andromeda bit her lip and picked up the newspaper. The title read _Potter's Girlfriend Parading with Muggles?_ Rita Skeeter featured a picture of Andromeda and Kamelia at a Muggle park dancing and singing and with playing a few instruments with a herd of Muggle children.

"She's working for me." Andromeda became grim, silently judging Narcissa. _Narcissa_. The most dutiful and respectable of Mother's children.

Narcissa stabbed a red, pointy nail at the picture. "With Muggles! How will she ever reintegrate into respectable society like this? She looks like a country bumpkin with those shoes and a banjo! And look at her beautiful hair! You can tell those little savages were playing with it!"

"Yes, how dare a girl wear flipflops on a hot day," Andromeda drawled, sounding infuriatingly superior. "What a find the most shameful, dear sister, is that you didn't notice the most important part of that picture."

Narcissa barely glanced at it again. "What? Her outfit is atrocious, but—"

"Look how happy she is, Cissa," Andy said quietly. Narcissa looked down to see that Kamelia was in fact laughing and grinning from ear to ear. "When's the last time you've seen her _this_ happy."

Not for a long time, but she couldn't let her sister know that. Narcissa clenched her fists and rose to leave. "Send her my love."

* * *

"Your mother was here."

Kami was helping Aunt Andromeda clean up after camp because her grandson was staying over for the weekend. He lived with his father in Romania, but other than that, she didn't know much about him except that he was a toddler. Her aunt seemed nervous, so she wondered if mentioning her mother was a distraction.

"Oh?" Kami said quietly. "She found out I'm spending time here…"

Aunt Andromeda smiled, knowing that she knew exactly how Mother would feel about her working with Muggle children all day. "Yes. But you needn't worry. I put her in her place."

Kami didn't say anything as she wiped down the table. When she first started working, she had no idea how to do simple things like wash dishes. Now, she was starting to make simple meals like sandwiches with the crusts cut off. She could almost hear her brother calling her a house elf.

"You know, my mother and I still talk." Andromeda grimaced as she swept and spotted several broken-up animal crackers. "More so recently since I lost Dora. I was so distraught that I couldn't even help take care of my own grandson. She was surprisingly there for me…"

Kami huffed. There was no comparing Grandmother to Mother. "Grandma always stood up for me. She wanted me to be an alchemist or some kind of Master of Magic."

Aunt Andromeda looked surprised for a brief moment and then smiled to herself. "But she wasn't always like that. You probably don't remember much when Cygnus was alive."

Grandmother always showered attention upon her when she was growing up. Yes, she taught both her and Draco French and Italian, but she payed special attention to Kami. They went to Paris together in the summer, bought her enough books to make her head spin, and was teaching her Chinese and Arabic. Then, Rodolphus came along, and she started distancing herself from everyone.

Kami shrunk into herself, feeling guilty. "Mummy is too disappointed in me. They both probably are."

"Perhaps." Aunt Andromeda didn't know about her drinking or Rodolphus, so she only knew half of the disappointments she disgraced her family with. "But I'm hoping, like my mother did for me, that Narcissa will surprise you. Despite her stuffiness, she does truly love you."

Kami laughed bitterly. "Stuffiness…"

They finished in silence after that. Kami didn't doubt that her mother loved her, but she doubted that she would be willing to throw away everything they were raised to believe in for her. As she settled more and more into her new life, she was distancing herself more and more from her old way of life. The worst part was that she didn't miss her old life either. She missed her parents, but she knew they wouldn't accept how her life was now. Kami was beginning to be okay with that.

* * *

"Happy birthday." Kami felt rather proud of herself for finding Harry a present, which she plopped on his plate at breakfast before he could put any food on it. He was a sappy Gryffindor after all, so the typical flashy gift would be accepted but not as gushed over as a sentimental present.

Harry grinned at her excitement that made her bold. Knowing that she wouldn't let him do anything until he opened it, he started ripping off the paper. "Thanks… uh, what is it?"

Kami's eyes widened, but thankfully, Granger recognized it. "It's a history of the Potter family! Don't you recognize your own family crest?"

"Apparently not." Harry used a napkin to wipe the dust off the cover. She probably should have done that before she sloppily wrapped it… "This is brilliant! Where'd you find it?"

"You'll never guess!" she said excitedly. "I stole it." Black bark-laughed like the dog that he was, making Kami glare at him for interrupting her story. "Anyway, I wrote to you when I was nine. Draco wrote to you, but Father wouldn't let me! So I stole this from the library! We had books on all the old families. I forgot about it until I had gotten my clothes when… Well, you know, you almost killed my dad."

Ginny whistled. "And I thought my crush had run deep."

"I-it wasn't that!" Kami argued, not knowing why her cheeks were starting to color. Draco was allowed to write! "Everyone was allowed to write but me! Pansy, Gregory, Vincent!"

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I have not and never will read any fan mail." Harry was laughing like a git. "Unless you can find your letter."

Thank goodness Father had thrown it in the rubbish bin. Kami couldn't remember exactly what was written but knew that unicorns were mentioned. Anyway… "Still planning on your pizza party, as you call it?"

"And we're spending the morning flying." With a frown, he added, "Do you have a broom?"

"Girls don't fly," Kami said automatically. Ginny cleared her throat, causing Kami to blush. She was dressed in her Quidditch gear. "I mean… I was never allowed to."

"But everyone takes Flying first year," Granger the Know-It-All said. Yeah. Everyone but her. Mother thought it was ridiculous. She told her that she wasn't allowed to fly and made Dumbledore exempt her from the class, stating that her mother did the same for her, like she was doing her a favor. Meanwhile, Father had bought Draco a spot on the Slytherin Quidditch team at around the same time.

"Druella was always old fashioned," Black informed them. "Or at least Cygnus was. Narcissa probably wanted to please her."

Her grandmother wanted her to, actually. Mother said it was improper, that people would be able to see up her skirt. Kami squirmed at the thought, even though she was wearing pants. It still felt improper. "I'll watch."

"Like hell you will!" Ginny declared. "We're all flying! Even Hermione, who hates it!"

Before she could object, Harry added, "We'll fly together, until you get the hang of it. I'll show you."

"Well…"

Harry pretended to be offended. "It _is_ my birthday after all."

Who would've thought he'd be someone to milk his birthday? If she said no, she knew he would give a Gryffindor speech about how it was wrong for her not to be allowed to fly and blah, blah, blah, sexism. Still, it was nice that he wanted to fly with her. "Fine."

* * *

"Don't go up too high," Kami found herself fretting once they arrived at the forest near the Weasley's house. Why had she agreed to this?!

"I won't," Harry promised. She squeezed the top of the broom so hard her knuckles went white. "Do you really think I'd let you fall?"

"Not on purpose!" she wheezed.

"If I did let you fall..." Harry slowly started to let the broom rise. "Ginny would surely catch you. She's a fairly decent seeker, and she likes you, for some reason."

"I heard that!" Ginny called as she whizzed past them. She was going so fast… "I'll show you fairly decent, Potter!"

Harry ignored her and rose up slightly higher, causing Kami to close her eyes. She tried to think of all the places she'd been that were much higher up. The towers in the Manor, the headmistress's office, the stands in the Quidditch stadium… Kami forced one eye open. Then another. "Wow…"

It was beautiful. The trees, the fields, the tiny houses in the distance. Kami took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air. She had never seen the world like this before.

"Higher?" Harry asked. She could practically hear him smiling as she nodded. She never thought that today would feel so _freeing_.

"I'm glad you went flying with me today," Harry whispered. Ron was sleeping in Hermione's room (once it was confirmed that Sirius and Mrs. Weasley were sleeping), and Kami snuck into the room he shared with his best friend. "I thought you were going to stay on the ground, waving a handkerchief at me like an old woman."

"Well it _was_ your birthday," Kami mocked. "I should have known you'd milk it for all its worth, Potter."

Harry, almost hesitantly, ran his thumb over her breast. She leaned into him, smiling almost expectantly. He had never done anything like this before. "So…"

"So?" she whispered. "You want the birthday special?"

"Shut up!" Harry was sure that his face was the color of a tomato. He was starting to get a little annoyed, but she wouldn't know if he didn't tell her. "I haven't. I mean, er, I never. Well, I never really even did _this_."

Kami sat up and stared like he just told her he had a tail. "Really?"

"Yes," he said through clenched teeth.

She frowned. "Does it bother you? You know, that I have."

"No." He should have known that she would jump to that conclusion. "I'm just not entirely sure what to do. Because… well, you know… And it's only been like two months and…"

"It's alright," she soothed. She didn't sound disappointed either, much to Harry's relief. "It doesn't have to happen all at once. I was teasing you, birthday boy."

"Just wait until _your_ birthday," Harry growled.

She grinned, making Harry wonder if she'd want something extravagant or if she was thinking of receiving her own 'birthday special.' Until then, they would take things slow. And that's just what he had to tell Sirius when he saw them leaving his room the next morning… The prat.

* * *

"Harry told me you wanted to go to the library," Granger said over breakfast the following Saturday morning. She had an empty backpack with her, making Kami stare. "They're already open, so we can go as soon as you're ready."

Kami froze with the fork halfway to her mouth. Harry was off with Ronald at the Quidditch supply store. "He did?"

Granger nodded. "He said you were curious about music therapy. I have to say I am myself, though it seems self-explanatory. _I_ haven't heard of it."

"Oh yeah. That." She was curious but not curious enough to spend the day alone with Granger. It was awkward. All the nasty things Kami had said and done to her over the years came to mind, and she could only imagine what it felt like for Granger.

Granger didn't seem to care because she would get to go to a library and impatiently watched Kami finish eating breakfast. "Is it something you want to study? We could go to the local college. I haven't been to _their_ library yet, but only because I haven't had a good reason to. You can't go there without being a student, _but_ if you're a prospective student, that would make it so much easier to have a look around."

"Uh…"

"I'll set you up with an advisor before I head to the library," Granger said firmly. "I think you'll like it."

"Do you, now?" What had she wrapped herself into? She was going to kill Harry.

* * *

They apparated to London Community College. Kami found herself wincing as cars whizzed by. Another Muggle place for them to throw her into. She found herself souring, despite the fact that she loved working with Aunt Andromeda.

"I think my cousin goes here," Granger prattled on. "It's a great place to figure things out."

"Uhuh." It would be rude to say she wanted to go home already. Come to think of it, she hadn't entirely agreed to come here anyway. She just went with it. "Um, I don't know if this is a good idea."

Granger turned to face her, and to Kami's surprise, she didn't look annoyed or angry. "Oh. Sorry. I do tend to jump the gun a bit when it comes to learning…"

"Yeah," Kami said rudely, only causing her to immediately feel bad. "Sorry. I… Everyone knows what they're doing come fall, and I don't. I think that's the only reason I came."

Granger just shrugged, like Kami didn't just admit that she had no future plans besides being curious about something her aunt mentioned a few weeks ago in passing. "We can just check it out. No one's going to make you do anything. That's the thing about college. If you don't like it, just take something else or find another program or take a break. And you can go at any age. It doesn't have to be now either."

"This isn't a music school?" In their world, there were apprenticeships or set academies like the Auror Academy or St. Mungo's Medical School.

Granger shook her head. "No. Just college. You can study music, maths, science, history, anything you want really. Maybe I'll see if they have a Shakespeare class here… That's another thing. You can just take a class, and that's it. You don't have to commit to anything."

 _Anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?_ Kami did her best to squash the mean thoughts. Learning was Granger's passion, and she was just trying to help. Besides, she wanted _something_. "I don't know any Muggle music. Father says its rubbish, but I've never heard it..."

Granger beamed, surprising Kami that she could be so happy for her. "I think you'll love it! We'll have to check out the bookstore after we set you up with an advisor."

"Okay…"

* * *

Kami looked at her schedule, suddenly feeling impulsive. Two days a week, she'd go to class for a few hours. She signed up for two, a music theory course along with a sociology introductory class. "Maybe I shouldn't—"

"Nonsense." Granger signed up for two literature classes, despite the fact that she was attending the Ministry's law program. "I think you'll really like it. Draco told me how much you love music."

"You still talk to him?" Her brother hadn't really spoken to her since the duel because he could tell just by looking at her that she had been drinking. Kami couldn't exactly blame him either. He had taken care of her all school year, only to see her do that.

Granger nodded. "He asked about you, which is why I was so gung-ho to take you today. He seemed worried."

"Well, he could always try to talk to me himself." Kami tried to sound annoyed but merely came off as defeated. "Listen, Granger—"

"Hermione," she interrupted with a smile.

"Hermione," Kami said slowly. The name felt weird on her tongue. "My brother… Never mind. Thanks for taking me today. It's nice to have something, even if it is Muggle school."

"College," Hermione corrected. "And I think he'd like to hear from you. He seemed relieved when I told him you're opening up more, enjoying life."

Is that what this was? Enjoying life? Because it was terrifying, confusing, and maybe a little exciting at the same time. Kami smiled to herself as they walked to the bookstore. She was actually interested in reading her future textbooks. She stubbornly wanted to cling to her opinion of Muggles, but that was in her past life, a life that she wasn't allowed to be a part of again. If this was something she wanted to do, she wasn't going to let what her parents told her about Muggles get in the way of it.

Before she left, she signed up for two more courses.

* * *

"I am the first woman in my family to get into college," Kami boasted. Harry expected Hermione to read an encyclopedia with her and Kami to snub her at the idea of visiting the college. He raised his eyebrows as she bragged, and Hermione looked at him triumphantly. "I passed the entrance exam for my English and Math courses! I'm going to get the good plates for dinner."

"Are you going to tell her they let everyone into community college?" Hermione whispered as Kami practically strutted to the kitchen after greeting him in the living room.

"I'd sooner eat my own shit," Harry whispered back.

"Me too." Hermione glanced at the hallway leading towards the kitchen. "But maybe we should tell her that Sirius threw out the china four years ago."

"What do you mean the good plates are the ones that aren't paper?" Kami was nearly yelling at Sirius. Oh well… That's what he gets for being so noisy all the time. "What happened to the ones with the family crest? I remember getting spanked for breaking one when I was four!"

"Well, as you can clearly remember," Sirius said nervously, "my mother was a bitch, so everything she loved was rightfully destroyed."

"I guess we'd better save him…" Harry didn't move, and Hermione only laughed.

"They were hundreds of years old!" Kami sounded absolutely scandalized. "What else did you get rid of?"

"Everything that wasn't nailed down," Sirius could be heard joking. He was met with shocked silence.

Harry rose to intervene when Sirius, missing the cue, went on to say that most of the stuff was probably pawned by Mundungus, so she could probably hunt it down if it really mattered to her. Hermione put a hand on his shoulder. "They'll be fine. I think they're finally becoming family."

"Is that what this is?" Harry asked as Kami started telling Sirius how devastated her mother would be.

"Your mother clearly doesn't have her priorities in line if she'd be devastated about plates that aren't even hers but has no problem throwing you away," Sirius said loudly. Then, he added feebly, "She's stupid."

Kami was quiet for a while, worrying Harry because Sirius would definitely unknowingly add salt to the wound. He had to strain his ears to hear her say, "I like the replacement plates you picked out."

"Thank you. They were on sale."

From then on, Kami seemed to completely fit in with everyone at Number 12. She and Ginny went flying occasionally. Hermione helped her figure out her syllabi. She and Sirius only bickered about once a week. Hell, she even started to get used to the sight of Ron eating. Harry had to say that he was proud of her and looking forward to their future together.

* * *

 _1979_

 _She weighed her food, agonized over what she would eat at every meal, and could stand in front of a mirror for a good hour finding flaw after flaw after flaw… When Lucius was at work, she spent hours running up and down the stairs. She didn't want to be ugly or fat. And she didn't want to be a bastard. But she was a bastard. She couldn't control that. But what she could control was how she looked, what she put in her mouth._

 _Narcissa and Lucius were getting on well. At least she had that. He enjoyed her company, and she enjoyed his. She didn't dare let him know about her torturous inner thoughts though. She wanted to be perfect for him._

" _I was thinking," he said one Sunday morning. He had some idea of how self-critical she was though because he was thoughtful with each word. "That we… I mean I… it's probably me… could see a fertility healer."_

 _Narcissa stared. They had been trying to provide an heir since the day they were married. It had been five years, and until today, Lucius never insinuated something was wrong. "Oh?"_

 _Lucius smiled nervously. "You could go with me, if you'd like."_

 _Narcissa inhaled sharply at the implication that she should get checked out too, that something was_ _ **wrong**_ _. There couldn't be anything wrong with her. She had to be perfect for Lucius, for the Malfoy name, for her family. Her father, Cygnus. She tried to forget that day almost five years ago, but it stuck in her mind like glue. No wonder she had never been able to impress him. She was a bastard, not his and unworthy of him._

 _Lucius picked up on her unease. "I'll let you know how it goes."_

 _Lucius, of course, was in perfect health. She would expect no less from her dear husband. Narcissa knew the truth. It was her. It had to be. She was the product of lies, infidelity. There was no surprise that the problem was rooted in her imperfect blood._

 _He didn't blame her. Narcissa knew he would never bestow such cruelty on her. Instead, he showered her in affection, buying her jewels and furs. He even wanted to plan a vacation, saying that they needed to relax and what was meant to be would happen._

 _The following Monday, Lucius went to work with his father, leaving Narcissa with her thoughts as she exercised on the stairs. Up and down. Up and down. If she could lose another stone, she would have the perfect body._

 _After about an hour, Narcissa stopped, panting. She had to know. She needed to confirm that it was her. Perhaps the healer could find a way to fix her soiled genetics._

 _She fire-called the OBGYN department of St. Mungo's. Her money and name afforded her an appointment within the hour. Narcissa tried to hold her head up high as she walked onto the sixth floor._

" _Hello." The healer smiled and seemed so disgustingly friendly that Narcissa felt uncomfortable. Healers were supposed to be cold and unfeeling, showing that they had a level head and intelligence. "So, what brings you here today, Narcissa?"_

" _Mrs. Malfoy," Narcissa corrected. The wretched, mousy looking healer's smile faltered, but only for a brief moment. Then, she nodded to herself like she wasn't just snubbed. "My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for the past five years."_

" _Oh." She sounded genuinely sorry. "Well, we'll figure this out… Let's start with a weigh in, shall we?"_

 _Narcissa blanched at the thought. Yes, she weighed herself every morning and every night, but for someone else to know… Was it possible to be infertile from being overweight? The healer was waiting patiently, so Narcissa forced herself to comply._

" _Okay." The healer sounded slightly concerned but didn't berate her, which Narcissa took as a good sign. "Quick question, Mrs. Malfoy, are your cycles regular?"_

 _Narcissa blinked in surprise and then bolted off the scale when she realized her weight was recorded. "I haven't… Not since I was a teenager."_

 _The healer nodded, concern growing. "Well, in most cases, a cycle shows that your ovulating. If you're ovulating, then you can conceive."_

 _Narcissa didn't think about how she was never told such things or why her cycles suddenly stopped. All she could think about was how the healer said she was barren. Barren like Andromeda, Mother's other bastard. "So I can't have children…"_

" _Not at the moment." The healer sounded hopeful. Narcissa thought she was stupid. "I think your cycle has disappeared because of your weight." Narcissa's heart sunk. "If you put on at least a stone, maybe two, I think you would be pregnant in no time!"_

" _Put on?" Narcissa repeated. The thought of even gaining an ounce…_

 _The healer finally stopped smiling. "Yes. I can give you a list of therapists to talk to, if that will help. I think you would be a lot happier and healthier if you did."_

 _She handed Narcissa a roll of parchment with a list of overpaid ingrates to talk to. Why would she need to talk to someone about gaining weight? Doing it was disgusting and talking to someone about it was not only worse, but also a complete waste of time._

 _Out of politeness, Narcissa accepted. The healer tested her blood and gave her a diet plan to help her "healthily" gain weight. Perhaps she should get a second opinion._

 _As the hours past before dinner, Narcissa let the appointment sink in and knew that the over emotional healer was right. Her ribs stuck out, she was always hungry, not to mention tired, and often experienced chest pains. Worst of all, after five years, it became clear that she couldn't have a baby._

 _At dinner, she stared at the food the house elves prepared. She often yelled at them if they tried to make her plate for her. She had to be in control of what would go on it. Usually half a portion of meat and two spoonsful of whatever vegetable was being served. No starches, no bread, and certainly no dessert._

 _But… she wanted a baby. She wanted to give Lucius a baby. It was her duty. Narcissa stared at the bowl of potatoes for nearly half a minute before serving herself a small portion. She flinched when Abraxas cackled._

" _It seems your little pet finally feels comfortable," her father-in-law announced. Lucius colored slightly but said nothing out of respect to his father. "Perhaps she'll even be willing to have some breadcrumbs for dessert."_

 _A fire ignited in Narcissa that over powered the radiating shame. The burning anger was like nothing she had ever felt before. For once in her life, she wanted to stick up for herself. With a condescending smile, she helped herself to another spoonful of potatoes._

 _She didn't say a word to Abraxas, but she vowed she would get back at him. She would show him. She wasn't Lucius's little pet. She was his wife. She deserved better than what she was giving herself, and that fat fuck Abraxas made her see that. She wasn't going to let anyone treat her as less than human._

 _The next day she went to that therapist, and within six months, she was pregnant with Draco. Soon after, she was expecting Kamelia. She had given her husband two babies in less than two years. She won._

Narcissa laid awake for hours, thinking about her children. She worked so hard to have them and raise them to be better than Abraxas. Now, she was losing them both. Draco, not so much. He was forcing himself to tolerate them, for now. But Kami… Her sweet little flower… She was gone. She didn't even try to contact them after the duel. She gave up on her parents.

"I want her back," Narcissa whispered. Lucius was sound asleep next to her. He let his pride keep him away from their daughter and tried to act like he didn't care, like they had no daughter. With a huff, Narcissa shook her husband awake. "I want her back."

Lucius sat up with a start and took a moment to focus. "Kamelia?"

"No," she snapped. "Dobby's mother. Really Lucius? Who else would I be talking about?"

"She's made her choice," Lucius said.

"And clearly you've made yours," Narcissa hissed. "Well your decisions aren't my decisions, Lucius. I want my daughter back."

Lucius was quiet for a long time. "I want her back too. But—"

"No buts." Narcissa wasn't going to lose her daughter to Andromeda, Potter, and certainly not Muggles. "She needs to come home."

Lucius sighed. His pride was no match for her determination. He knew she wouldn't take no for an answer and would sooner pack her bags after twenty-five years of marriage. "I'll take care of it in the morning."

* * *

"You're going to have a fire-call soon," Granger… Hermione announced at breakfast. Kami frowned, thinking it was going to be her brother. She was supposed to pick up some more of her textbooks today.

Kami rolled her eyes. Leave it to Draco to be a baby and have his friend initiate communication for him. "Fine. Stupid git."

"Actually, Kami, it's…"

Already annoyed, Kami waved her off and headed for the floo in the living room. Harry followed her although with some hesitation until she motioned for him to follow. Then, they could head right off to the store.

But it wasn't Draco's head who appeared in the floo a few hours later. It was Father's. He kept his face blank, but his voice was warm. "We want you to come home, Kamelia."

"You do," she said in disbelief. She really thought he would never talk to her again. "I-I mean I have a few things to take care of today…"

His lip curled in disgust. "Yes, I heard about Muggle school."

"College," she corrected.

"When you come home, you won't need to worry about any of that." He scoffed. "Especially working for those sticky little animals."

"But I like…"

"You'll have a monthly allowance," he went on as if she hadn't interrupted, "until your marriage, although I won't provide a dowry for such a union." Kami stared as Harry shifted uncomfortably behind her. This was the closest she would get to him accepting her relationship with Harry. Harry made it clear that he didn't expect a dowry either.

Father wanted to give up school and working with Aunt Andromeda. He wanted her to just sit home and wait to get married. Kami thinned her lips in anger. She wanted them back so badly that it hurt sometimes. A few weeks ago, all she wanted was her family back and for them to accept her and Harry. Now, she had dreams and a job. She had friends who actually cared about her and her aunt who was filling in for Mother. Father expected her to give those things up like they were nothing.

Kami looked him dead in the eye and said firmly, "No."

 **Thank you for the reviews myafroatemydog, gr8rockstarrox, firstofhername, rabradley09, XxDragon King DragneelxX, noble helliom, I'm the Galactic Starfish, and PhoenixForYou!**

 **Myafroatemydog: Nope. They weren't dreams. Andy adopted Tonks!**

 **gr8rockstarrox: Cygnus was in love with her, and there for Druella when Alphard wasn't. She didn't return his feelings and only saw him as a friend. He thought making her marrying him would change her feelings, but when he saw that wasn't going to happen, he started drinking and that along with the bitterness and guilt made him abusive. He was one hundred percent in the wrong, but he did, at least at first, love her. Also, I made Andy and Narcissa Alphard, meaning they were conceived from love and Bellatrix was not.**

 **XxDragon King DragneelxX: I have someone else in mind besides Teddy, (not the OC girl in the camp) but I don't want Andy to have nothing left of Tonks!**

 **Next up, more Malfoys! Would you guys like to see Harry meeting Druella? I think after the next chapter, there will be a time skip. I intend to at least write up to their wedding.**


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